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Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Joe，Joe！去接电话。
Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
我只有一只手，你应该帮我的。帮我拿件毛衣来。
Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
快点接啦！是Janice，如果我接了，我今晚就得跟她见面，那太好了，我今晚得跟她见面。
What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
有什么大事？你为何不想见她？
Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.
昨晚我们在吃晚餐，当餐点送来时，她把一半烤鸡肉放到我盘里，拿走我所有的番茄。
And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?
这样很不好，是因为…你不喜欢烤鸡肉吗？
Noo.
不是。
You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
你不想与人分享你的番茄，番茄对你很重要。
No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
突然间，我们就是“情侣”了，然后我脑袋里的警报开始大响，“为了你的人生，快跑快离开这栋大楼！”
Men are unbelievable.
男人真是令人难以置信。
What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
你们这些人是怎么回事？心中一旦产生感情就要马上逃开？
I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
我知道，那就是，就是我今晚不想去的原因，我怕自己说出一些蠢话。
Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
你是说男人那一套故意冷漠，保持距离…直到我们跟你们分手？
Hey, you know about that?!
嘿，你知道这事？
Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!
我能怎么做？我想度过这个阶段，我不想再害怕承诺，就像跃过一个隧道到达另一端！
Where there is no fear of commitment.
就是不再害怕承诺。
Do we have any... Do we have any thoughts here?
我们有没有，有没有任何想法？
Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it,
我没度过那种隧道啦因为…我懂得，
you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right.
过隧道的规定是你车里不能多于一个女人，对吧。
But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else,
但我想这和战胜其他恐惧是一个道理，
you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building!
你怕高的话，就到大楼顶端，
If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment,
如果你怕虫子，就买台金龟车吧，你的情况是，你害怕承诺，
so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
那你就到那里去做一个，最勇于承诺的男人。
Amazingly, that makes sense
令人讶异的是，很有道理呢。
You think?
你这么觉得？
Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
是啊，快去吧，老兄从高处跳下水！用目光击退枪枝！在风中撒尿！
Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
若我得用目光击退枪枝，我大概已经尿得到处都是了。
