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Hey, Gloria,
嘿 歌洛莉亚
you got any idea how to wrap one of these things?
你知道怎么包装这玩意儿吗
Is that a crossbow? - Yeah.
那是个十字弓吗 -是啊
Am I the greatest grandpa in the world or what?
我是不是堪称世上最好的外公
We can't give Luke a crossbow.
我们不能送十字弓给卢克
He pokes himself in the eye every time he uses a straw.
他每次用吸管都能戳到眼睛
Are you kidding? I had one when I was his age.
开什么玩笑 我像他那么大的时候就有一把
My dad used to give me a quarter for every crow I bagged.
我每射杀一只乌鸦 我爸就会给我25美分
And I used to have a machete.
我曾经还有大砍刀呢
But times have changed. - He'll be fine.
但时代已经变了 -他会没事的
I'll teach him how to use it.
我会教他怎么用的
Hey, pal, how's it going?
嘿 老弟 过得怎么样
Am I charming?
我有魅力吗
Oh, boy. Of course you're charming.
靠 你当然有魅力了
Who said you were not charming? - No one.
谁说你没魅力了 -没人
But there's a girl in my school, and I want her to like me.
学校里有个妹子挺好 我想让她喜欢我
I need your advice, Jay. - Really?
我需要你的建议 杰 -真的吗
She's gonna be at Luke's party.
她会去参加卢克的派对
Well, I'm a little thrown.
我真是 有点受宠若惊
I mean, you don't usually come to me for advice.
我是说 你一般不会向我征询建议
Well, this is one area in which you've done pretty well.
在泡美妞这方面 您老可算个中高手啊
He has a point.
他说的很对
I've tried everything to get her attention-
我试过用各种方法吸引她的注意
opening doors, having a milk sent over in the cafeteria.
为她开门 在餐厅为她递上一杯牛奶
Nothing's worked. - Here's the deal.
全都不奏效 -事实上
Girls don't go for all that romantic stuff.
女孩子不吃浪漫那一套
They go for power and success.
她们喜欢有权势的或成功的男人
And since you don't have either one of those things,
既然这两样你都不沾边
you're gonna be the funny guy.
那你就得做个风趣幽默的男人
No, no, no. I want the most dangerous reptile you've got.
不不不 我想要你养的最危险的爬虫
