Okay,okay, any questions,any questions?

I have one.

So,what type of places would you consider to be the most vulnerable?

Like,say an offender was gonna break into somebody's house.

Who would be the best victim?

That's a very good question.

No,it's not.

You just break into a house where nobody's home.

That's right.

Cool.

I got to go.

With a four second head start,

Jerome stole four stereos.

My mother wasn't the only one helping out the community.

At school,Drew volunteered to be a Patrol Boy,

which is just a fancy name for crossing guard.

Okay,go.

Hey,Drew,

can you help me cross?

Sure.

Thanks,Drew.

If this had been me,

here's how it would have gone.

Because I was going on a date for the first time,

everyone had a helpful suggestion.

Be sure to compliment her on her shoes.

Girls like that.

Shoes,right.

Tell her you got a job.

Girls like that more.

Job,I got it.

And hold a piece of gum under your tongue and let it soak

so your breath won't stink.

Okay,gum.

Oh,yeah,and if the movie is sad,don't cry.

She'll think you're a punk.

It's Footloose.

I ain't gonna cry.

baby,have a good time.

But not too good a time,

'cause you know I'm not raising no babies.

Enjoy yourself.

This is half off on a soda and box of Jujubes.

Thanks.

Oh,what the hell.

Here's a coupon for a free box of popcorn.

The last time my father gave man an extra coupon

was when I gave him a get-one coupon, get-one-coupon-free coupon.

Have a good time.

You look good,man.

That's my boy.

Standing there waiting for Yvette was one of the best feelings I'd had.

But after 15 minutes,I thought,"

Maybe the buses are running late."

After 30 minutes,I thought,

"Maybe the bus broke down."

After an hour,I thought,

"Maybe the bus got in an accident,

"skidded through the guardrail,

exploded in midair,

and ended up at the bottom of the East River."

After the movie was over,

I thought,"Maybe she never got on that bus at all."

To this day,I can't make it through Footloose without crying.

bummer,man.

Did she say what happened?

I haven't heard from her.

Why do girls do junk like that?

I don't know what to tell you.

Greg and I had the same conversation last night

and he still didn't know what to tell me.

That sucks.

Man,I don't know how you made it to school today.

Stood up,out there on the street,

talk about embarrassing.

If I were you, I'd be so depressed,

I'd be standing on top of the Brooklyn Bridge

with a hundred pounds of rocks tied around my ankles

and a bag of rats wrapped around my head,

ready to jump...

Okay,I get it.

Forget about it,man.

You're a nice guy.

Aren't you the same one who called me a little black bum?

Like I said, I was improvising.

If it makes you feel any better,

I would have shown up.

That didn't mean anything.

Greg once showed up at a sneaker-string taste test.

I'm watching you!

Because my mother was the Block Watch captain,

if anything happened in the neighborhood,

Miss Louise made sure she heard about it.

They're spraying graffiti downstairs.

I'll file a report.

There's a mad dog chasing people!

I'll file a report.

Somebody stole my mail.

I'll file a report.

I can't find my glasses.

I'll file a report.

Larry and them coming.

I'll file a report.

Being stood up was bad enough,

so I didn't want to tell anybody.

Listen,you ever hear of Whodini?

Ecstasy and Jalil? Yeah.

Yeah,I got a couple of tickets.

I thought the show was about the magician.

You want 'em?

Yeah.

Maybe you can take your girl.

I don't think so.

Why not?

She stood me up.

I was standing outside the theater for two hours

and she never shed up.

What?

You gonna let her treat you that way and get away with it?

Listen,if I was you,

I'd go find that girl,

take her by the hair and shake her

like an Etch-A-Sketch.

Doc lives alone.

She does owe me an explanation.

Now you're talking.

Well,here's your chance.

Hey,Chris.

what happened to you yesterday?

That's right.

We were supposed to go see Footloose.

I totally forgot.

I didn't know it then,

but,for years to come,

I dated an awful lot of women with amnesia.

Oh,that's right.

We're supposed to go to the prom together.

I totally forgot.

That's right.

We were supposed to do something for your birthday.

Totally forgot.

Oh,that's right.

I was supposed to give you a kidney.

Boy,I forgot all about you.

Until I got famous,

I never met a woman that could remember anything.

So maybe we can go Saturday.