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I can't believe you put the platypus foot rest in the trash.
真不敢相信你把鸭嘴兽脚踏板当垃圾扔了
On eBay we could get at least three to six dollars for it.
那东西能在易趣上卖三到六块吧
I'm gonna tell you this one more time.
我再重申一遍
It's a possum, and it died at least three to six years ago.
那是只负鼠，它至少死了三到六年了
Oh, my god. There's Johnny.
天啊，居然碰到强尼
This is a Katherine Heigl movie.
你俩就像在演浪漫爱情片
What are you guys doing in this neighborhood?
你们俩在这区干嘛
Oh, hello. Sorry to interrupt you,
你好，抱歉打扰你们一下
but what the hell's going on here?
但你们俩是在搞什么
This is, uh...
这位是...
I'm Cashandra, his girlfriend.
我是卡珊德拉，他的女朋友
Who are you?
你是谁
I'm Max, and, um, that's how I say hi to everyone.
我是麦克斯，这是我打招呼的方式
I'm incredibly friendly.
我和蔼可亲到不可思议
She's so friendly.
她特别和蔼可"亲"
Here's table ten, Earl.
10号桌买单，厄尔
Are you okay, Max?
你还好吧，麦克斯
Rumor has it that you had your heart broken.
有传闻说你心都碎了
I didn't have my heart broken.
我才没有心碎呢
And that's why I don't listen to rumors.
所以我才不听信传闻呢
Max, I want to announce I have ended my bromance with your boyfriend, Johnny.
麦克斯，我宣布我跟你的男朋友强尼断绝兄弟情了
I hate the player as well as the game.
情义和兄弟我都不要了
Never was my boyfriend.
他从来就不是我男朋友
I would like to offer myself for rebound sex.
我自愿牺牲肉体，让你床上蹂躏发泄
Or, if not, I can just beat the crap out of him.
如果不乐意，我也可以帮你暴打他一顿
Caroline, did you have to tell everyone?
卡洛琳，你非要搞得人尽皆知吗
I'm sorry, but I'm not keeping that up in my head.
抱歉，但我可不想自己守秘密
I'm not going butterfingers.
我不想变成情感囤积狂
I can't believe he has a girlfriend.
真不敢相信他有女朋友了
Are you happy now?
你现在高兴了吧
You got me to admit that I like him, and then you got me to kiss him.
你让我承认我喜欢他，还说服了我去亲他
And then I kissed his beautiful girlfriend,
然后我还亲了他那个漂亮女友
who is black and British,
一个英国血统的黑人
the two cool things I can never be.
血统和肤色我都望尘莫及
I'm sorry, but he led you on.
我错了，但他也不该误导你啊
Oh, did he?
他有吗
I think you and Douglas' mother led me on.
都是你和道格拉斯的母亲在推波助澜吧
This is not my fault.
这又不是我的错
He's the one who's hoarding women.
他才是那个囤积女人狂啊
