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Ok...The X10's are online.
好了，这台X10已经连上网了。
Gentlemen, I am now about to send a signal from this laptop through our local ISP racing down fibre optic cable at the speed of light to San Fransisco,
先生们，接下来我要从这台笔记本发出信号，通过本地ISP经由光纤电缆以光速直达旧金山，
bouncing off a satellite in geosynchronous orbit to Lisbon, Portugal,
通过地球同步卫星的反射到达葡萄牙的里斯本，
where the data packets will be headed off to submerge transatlantic cables,
然后数据包就会直通跨大西洋海底电缆，
terminating in Halifax, Nova Scotia and transferred across the continent via microwave relays back to our ISP,
在新斯科舍省的哈利法克斯暂歇之后跨越整个大陆通过微波传送回我们的ISP，
And the extend receiver attached to this...Lamp.
而扩展接收器就安在这个……灯。
Look at me, look at me. I've got goosebumps.
看看我，看看我，我都起鸡皮疙瘩了。
Are we ready for the stereo? Go for stereo.
我们的音响准备好了吗？试试看音响。
Hey guys. Hello. It's a little loud.
嘿，大家。你好。有点吵哎。
No problem...Turning it down. San Francisco, Lisbon, Halifax... et voil? OK, thanks.
没问题……声音关小点。旧金山，里斯本，哈利法克斯……这样好了？好，谢谢
Hang on, hang on. Do you not realise what we just did?
等下，你没注意到我们刚才做的事吗？
Yeah, you turned your stereo down with your laptop.
注意到了，你们刚刚用笔记本调低了音响声音。
No, we turned our stereo down, by sending a signal around the world via the Internet.
不，我们是借由网络向全球发出了信号，然后使立体声音量变小。
Oh. You know you can get one of those universal remotes from Radio shack? They're really cheap.
你们可以买个Radio shack的万能遥控器，那个非常便宜。
No, you don't get it. Howard, Enable public access. Public access enabled.
不，你没明白。霍华德，打开公共通道。公共通道已打开。
Boy, that's terrific. I'll see ya. No hang on, hang on... See? No.
棒极了，回见。不，等等……看到没？没啊
Someone in Sichuan province, China, is using his computer to turn our lights on and off.
有个人在中国的四川省正在用他的电脑来操控我们灯的开和关。
Oh, that's handy. Here's a question...Why? Because we can.
哦，那还真挺方便的。我有个问题……为什么这么做？因为我们能做到
They found our remote control cars!
他们发现我们的遥控车了！
Wait, what's on top of that? Wireless webcams, wave hello!
等一下，那个上面是什么？无线摄像头，打个招呼！
The monster truck is out of Austin, Texas, and the blue Viper is being operated from suburban Tel Aviv.
那辆怪兽卡车由德州奥斯汀的某人操控，而那辆蓝色的道奇蝰蛇由特拉维夫市郊某人操控。
You may want to put on slacks.
你或许该穿条裤子。
What? Ew, stop it! No! Leave me alone!
什么？呃，停下！不！离我远点！
Who's running the red Corvette? That would be me.
谁在操纵那个红色巡洋舰？是我。
You know in the future, when we're disembodied brains in jars, we're going to look at this as eight hours well wasted.
或许将来，当我们变成被放在罐子里的，脱离躯体的大脑时，回头看这八个小时会是完全浪费。
I don't want to be in a jar. I want my brain in an android body. Eight feet tall and ribbed.
我可不希望被放在罐子里，我希望我的大脑放在机器人体内。八英尺高，肋骨分明。
I'm with you. I just have to make sure if I'm a synthetic human I'd still be Jewish.
我支持你。我只是想确保就算我成了人造人，我仍然是犹太人。
I promised my mother.
我答应过我妈妈。
I suppose you could have your android penis circumcised.
我觉得你还可能得给你的人工阴茎进行割礼。
But that's something your rabbi would have to discuss with the manufacturer.
但那是你的犹太导师和制造商应该探讨的问题。
Not to mention you'd have to power down on saturdays.
而且你星期六还得进入节电模式。
Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?
谢尔顿，这封信为啥在垃圾箱里？
Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter.
嗯，不能排除那封信周围自然形成了一个垃圾桶。
but Occam's razor would suggest that someone threw it out.
但据奥卡姆剃刀原理，应该是谁扔进去的吧。
It's from the Institute of Experimental Physics,
这是物理实验研究所寄来的，
they want us to present our paper on the properties of super solids at the topical conference of Bose-Einstein condensates.
他们想让我们在玻色-爱因斯坦凝聚体主题会上发表我们关于超立体特质的研究论文。
I know. I read it before I threw it out.
我知道，我把它扔掉之前读过了。
Ok, if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question: why did you throw it out?
好吧，容我打破砂锅问到底，你为什么把它扔掉？
Because I have no interest in standing in the Rose room of the Pasadena Marriot, in front of a group of judgmental strangers
因为我对站在帕萨迪纳万豪酒店的玫瑰房里面对一帮品头论足的陌生人毫无兴趣。
who wouldn't recognise true genius if it was standing in front of them giving a speech.
就算一个真正的天才在面前讲演，他们也绝对察觉不到。
Which if I were there, would be.
如果我在那儿的话就会这样的。
I don't know Sheldon. Those topical conferences on Bose-Einstein condensates' parties are legendary.
我不明白谢尔顿，玻色-爱因斯坦凝聚体主题会的派对可是传奇性的啊！
Forget the parties! Forget the parties? What a nerd.
别提那些派对了！别提那些派对了？书呆子！
Are there any other honours I've got that I don't know about? Did the UPS dropped off a Nobel prize with my name on it?
还有其他我不知情的荣誉吗？快递公司有没有送来一封写着我名字的诺贝尔获奖信？
Leonard, please don't take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel prize,
Leonard请别误会，不过你得诺贝尔奖的那天，
is the day I begin my research on the drag coefficient of tassles on flying carpets.
就是我开始对飞毯流苏的药物共作用性研究的时候。
The only thing missing from that insult was: "your mama".
这个羞辱只漏了一点就是"你妈妈"
I got one...Hey Leonard, Your mama's research methodology is so flawed... Shut up, Howard.
我有个……嗨兰纳德，你妈妈的研究方法论也太次了……闭嘴霍华德。
Sheldon, we have to do this.
谢尔顿，我们必须去。
No, we don't. We have to take a nourishment, to expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying. Everything else is optional.
不，没必要。我们必须摄取营养排泄废物，吸取足够的氧气来保持细胞活性，剩下的都是可选的。
Ok, let me put it this way: I'm doing it.
好吧 我这么说吧：我要去。
You can't. I'm the lead author.
你不能，我才是主笔。
Come on, the only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically.
得了吧，你的姓氏字母靠前是你成为主笔的唯一原因。
I let you think we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation with dealing with the fact that it was my idea.
我让你以为我们是按字母排序是为了减轻你的屈辱感，免于承受"那论文是我的构思"这个残酷的现实。
Now to put too fine a point to it, but I was throwing you a bone. You're welcome.
坦率的说，我是在施恩于你。不用谢了。
Excuse me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis.
拜托，是我设计了实验证明了那些假设！
That doesn't mean proving.
那不需要证明。
So the entire scientific community is just supposed to take your word?
所以整个科学界都理应相信你的鬼话了？
They're not supposed to, but they should.
不是理应，而是他们应该相信。
All right, I don't care what you say. I'm going to the conference and I'm presenting our findings.
好吧，我不管你怎么说，我会去参加这个会议并且要发表我们的新发现。
And I forbid it. You forbid it?
我不准。你不准？
If I'm not taking credit for our work then nobody is.
如果这荣誉不是归我名下，那就谁也别想得到。
So, you admit that it's our work. No. Once again, I'm throwing you a bone.
你承认这是我们共同的成果了？不是。再说一遍，是我施恩于你。
And once again, you are welcome.
再说一遍，不用谢了。
Oh, no, he didn't.
不，他不会吧
So, how was it going with Sheldon? Are you guys still not talking to each other?
你现在和谢尔顿怎么样？还是不说话吗？
Not only is he still not talking to me, but there's this thing he does where he stares at you and tries to get your brain to explode.
他不仅不和我说话，还总瞪着我，做出想把我的头看爆的动作，
You know, like in the classic sci-fi movie "Scanners".
你知道就像是那个经典的科幻电影"扫描机"
Like.... Bzzz. Nevermind. How about this one?
就像这样……卟嗞。。算了。这件怎么样？
It says, I know my physics, but I'm still a fun guy.
它就像在说我虽然精通物理，但我仍是一个风趣的人。
Oh, I didn't know they still made corduroy suits. They don't, that's why I saved this one.
哦，我不知道还有人生产灯芯绒西服。没人生产了，所以我留着这件。
Ok, well, let's just see what else you have.
好的，咱们再看看你还有什么。
Ok, here. Take this. and this, and this, and this, and these... Is this all stuff you want me to try on? No, this is stuff I want you to throw out.
好，这儿，拿着这件，还有这件，这件，这件，还有这些。这些都是你想让我试穿的？不，这些都是我想让你扔掉的。
Seriously, don't even give it to charity, you won't be helping anyone.
说真的，也别捐给慈善机构了，不会帮到任何人的。
What's this? That's the bottled city of Kandor.
这是什么？这是瓶中城市坎多。
Ah? You see, Kandor was the capital city of the planet Krypton.
哦？坎多曾是氪星球的首都，
It was miniaturized by Brainiac before Krypton exploded and then rescued by Superman. Oh, nice.
在氪星球爆炸之前它被Brainiac缩小了，然后被超人拯救。哦，厉害。
It's a lot cooler when girls aren't looking at it.
在没有女孩看的时候它会更酷的。
Here, why don't you put these while I find a shirt and a sport cut match. Right, be right back.
你先把它换上，我找找相配的衬衫和外套。好的，我马上回来。
Where are you going? Just put them on. Here?
你去哪？穿上就行了。在这儿？
Oh, are you shy? No, I'm not shy. Don't worry I won't look.
噢，你害羞了？不，我没害羞。别担心，我不会偷看的。
I know you won't look. Why would you look? There's nothing to see...Well, not 'nothing'... Sweetie, put the pants on.
我知道你不会偷看，你为啥要偷看呢？又没什么好看的……呃，也不是一点没有……亲爱的，把裤子穿上。
So, you know, isn't there maybe some way you and Sheldon could compromise on this whole presentation thing? No, No.
那么，会不会有一天你能和谢尔顿在出席会议那件事上彼此妥协呢？不会的，不会的。
Scientists do not compromise. Our minds are trained to synthetize facts and come to inarguable conclusions.
科学家不会妥协，我们的头脑是被训练来综合事实然后得出无可置疑的结论。
Not to mention, Sheldon is back-crap crazy.
更何况谢尔顿是个驼背的疯子。
What is this?
这是什么？
Oh, careful. That's my original series Battle Star Galactica flight suit.
哦，小心点，那是我收藏的太空堡垒卡拉狄加原版系列宇航服。
Oh, why didn't you wear it on Halloween?
哦，怎么你都没有在万圣节穿过？
Because it's not a costume, it's a flight suit.
因为它不是戏服，它是宇航服。
Ok, alright, moving on. Oh, wow. A paisley shirt.
好吧，继续。哇，涡旋纹花呢衫。
It goes with my corduroy suit.
那件是用来配我的灯芯绒西服。
if you mean it should end up in the same place, then I agree.
如果你觉得它该和那西服同归于尽，我也同意。
Is this your only tie?
这是你唯一的一条领带？
Technically, yes. But, if you'll notice...It's reversible! So it works as two.
理论上来说是的，但是如果你能注意到……它是正反两面的！可以当两条用。
Sweetie, I don't even think it works as one. Is this all your clothes?
亲爱的，我觉得当一条用它都够呛。这就是你全部的衣服了？
Yeah. Everything since the eighth grade.
没错，八年级至今的全部衣服都在这儿了。
The eighth grade? My last growth sprout.
八年级？我最后发育的年龄。
Ok, well, let's go back to the corduroy suit. Great. Yeah.
好吧，还是选这套灯芯绒西服吧。棒极了。是啊
I said no. Put it down.
我说了不，把它放下。
Hey, Sheldon. Hello, Penny. Get anything good?
嗨，谢尔顿。你好，佩妮。收到啥好东西了？
Just the latest copy of Applied Particle Physics quarterly.
只是最新的应用粒子物理学季刊。
Oh, you know, that is so weird that yours came and mine didn't.
哦，那真是有点奇怪，你的到了可我那期还没来。
It was a joke.
我在开玩笑
Yep. Tip you waitresses. I'm here all week.
是的，给女服务生点小费，我整星期都会在这里哦。
