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This is so exciting. I'm feeling all tingly.
人家好激动，都感觉有点刺痛了。
Although that could just be my newly defoliated bikini zone. Keep a lookout.
但也有可能是因为我才把比基尼部位除了毛哦。把好风。
This place is swarming with campus security.
这地方有一大堆校园保安
They will not hesitate to scold us. Freaking pigs. Oh, yeah.
他们会骂死我们的，死猪头（谢尔顿·库珀）爽啊
Okay, now, pull your car into the spot and let's get out of here.
好的，现在，把你的车开进来我们就可以走人了。
Wait, I'm leaving my car here?
等等 我得把车留在这里吗？
Yes, and be sure and put on the emergency brake.
对，记得拉手刹。
Really makes these things tough to budge.
这样要拖走你车都得废很大劲
Before I park, come in the backseat.I want to show you something I had done today.
在我停车以前，你到后座来一下。我给你看看我今天做的事。
All right, color me intrigued.
好啊，我都好奇起来了。
What do you think? I think you're high on paint fumes.
你觉得怎么样？你喷漆味吸高嗨过头了吧。
And boy, that's a lot of BandAids.
老天，好多创口贴啊。
Okay, Howard's mother is in, like, every one of your wedding photos.
你每一张结婚照里都有霍华德的妈妈
What can I tell ya? She's a big girl.
我能说什么呢？她可是"大"姑娘。
Wherever you look, there she is. More coffee?
不管看哪她都赫然在目。再来点咖啡吗？
No, Leonard's taking me to a physics lecture, and coffee'll just keep me awake. Oh, I'll get it.
不了，莱纳德要带我去听物理讲座咖啡会害让我睡不着。我去开门。
Oh, looks like someone's on Team Bernadette.
看来某人和伯纳黛特是一队的啊
Where's Howard? He's not here. What's wrong?
霍华德在哪？他不在，怎么了？
He had my car towed. It cost me $200 to get it back. Oh, no.
他让我的车被拖走了，花了我200美元才弄回来。这么惨啊。
Where was it parked? In Sheldon's spot.
车本来在哪停着的呢？在谢尔顿的停车位。
That doesn't make sense. Sheldon doesn't have a spot.
不对啊 谢尔顿没有车位
Was it maybe in Howard's spot?
是不是在霍华德的车位呀
Don't play dumb with me, sister. You tell your husband he owes me $200.
别装傻了，丫头。告诉你丈夫他欠我200块。
Well, that doesn't make sense, either. Why not?
这也说不通啊。怎么会？
Because I'm the one who had it towed. You?
因为车是我拖走的，你？
Didn't see that one coming, did ya? Oh, yeah?Well, you're not gonna see this coming. Oh, my God, are you okay?!What the hell do you have in there?!
没想到姐这招吧？是吗？那你想得到姐这招吗？天啊，你没事吧？你包里装了什么鬼东西啊
Just my wallet, keys and a coffee can full of change I've been meaning to take to the bank.
只有钱包、钥匙和一个装满硬币的咖啡罐我正准备到银行存呢
Don't move. I'll get some ice. Are you okay?
别动，我去拿点冰块。你没事吧？
Get away from me or I swear to God I will rip out what's left of your pubes!
离我远点不然我发誓我会把你"那块"撕烂！
Here. Thanks. Ah! Amy, you think maybe this has gotten a little out of hand?
给，谢谢。艾米，你不觉得这事有点失控吗？
Gee, you think?! I do.
老天，你才觉得吗？确实。
Penny, Bernadette and I are sorry. You hit her! What did I do?
佩妮，我和伯纳黛特很抱歉。打她的是你，我做啥了?
You had my car towed. You were parked in Howard's spot!
你拖走了我的车，谁叫你在霍华德的车位停车的！
I was parked in Sheldon's spot!
我是停在谢尔顿的车位上的
Sheldon doesn't have a spot!
谢尔顿根本就没有车位
Guys, I think I need to go to the emergency room.
姑娘们我觉得我得去趟急救室
Okay, let's go. I'll drive.
好，我们走。我来开车。
You can see where the tow truck scratched my car.
你可以看看拖吊车把我的车刮成什么样了
The tow truck didn't scratch your car.
拖吊车根本没刮到你的车
How do you know?'Cause I did it! Morning, Professor Stevens.
你怎么知道因为是老娘亲自拖的。早啊，史蒂文斯教授。
Don't look at that whiteboard.That's my math, not your math.
别盯着白板看那是我的数学公式 不关你的事
Keep walking, nosey. What the hell are you doing?
继续走你的路事儿妈。你又搞什么鬼呢？
You said I'm not using my space, so... I'm using it.
你说我没有使用我的车位，所以我正在使用
Okay, you need to move now. No, I don't.
你得闪边了，才不。
You can't stay there forever.
你总不可能一直占着那里吧
Actually, I have a plastic baggy strapped to my leg that says I can. Give up, Wolowitz.
事实上，我腿上绑的塑"尿"袋说是可能的。放弃吧，沃罗威茨。
You've chosen to tangle with a superior intellect you can't defeat.
你的对手比你足智多谋，你赢不了的。
There is nothing you could possibly do to... Those aren't gonna help you, Sheldon! Oh, yes, they are! I mean, what?!
你没有任何招能...那玩意没用的，谢尔顿！作用可大了。不，你说啥来着？
I'm warning you, Sheldon! Your threats are empty!
我警告你，谢尔顿！你吓唬谁啊！
Nothing can move me! Stop that! Get out of my spot! That's it.
我是赶不走的！快住手！滚出我的车位，够了。
I am calling campus security!
我要叫保安了
You prepare for the scolding of your life!
你准备好被骂得狗血淋头吧
What are you idiots doing?!
你们两个蠢货干嘛呢
He's trying to kill me, Leonard!
他要谋杀我莱纳德
Video games and rock music have desensitized him to violence!
电玩游戏与摇滚乐令他变得对暴力麻木不仁
Would you please talk some sense into your lunatic roommate?
拜托你好好劝几句你的疯子室友行吗？
You're both acting like lunatics.
你俩都像疯子似的
It's just a parking spot. It's not just a parking spot!
一个停车位而已不仅仅是停车位！
He can't handle the fact that I'm a bigger deal than he is now. Oh, preposterous!
他无法接受现在我比他还大咖的事实，真是荒谬
I have been solely responsible for this university's sixloop quantum gravity calculations;
我全权负责这间大学的六回圈量子引力计算
I have changed the way we think about BoseEinstein condensates, and I am also the one who got Nutter Butters in the cafeteria vending machine.
我改变了世人对玻色爱因斯坦凝聚体的想法而且是我让咱学校的食堂贩卖机出售花生酱三明治饼
Maybe you missed that news while you were floating around like a goof in outer space.
也许你不知道这些因为当时你像个傻子一样在太空里瞎飘
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
恕我失陪 我要工作了
Can you believe this guy?
你相信他说的是人话吗
What I don't believe is that you tried to run him over.
我不相信你居然想碾死他
Oh, like you've never thought of doing that.
别装得好像你没想过这么做一样
Don't hate me just because I lived the dream. Hey. Sweet ride!
别因为我实现梦想而恨我。嘿，真是辆好车哦！
What are you doing in there?!
你在车里干什么
Just breaking in your new car.
闯入你的新车玩玩啊
Stop that! You stop that!
别这样！快住手
You know what they say?
知道常言怎么说吗
Revenge is a dish best served nude. Hey, got a minute? Oh, of course, come in.
君子报仇裸着才完，有时间吗？当然，请进。
This is an authentic Chinese throwing star, and I must warn you, I have seen many people throw them in movies. Calm down.
这是枚货真价实的中国飞镖我得警告你我在电影里见过很多人扔这个。冷静！
Howard has something he wants to say to you. All right.
霍华德有话跟你说。好了。
Sheldon, when this whole thing with the parking space started, I had no idea just how much of a crazy bastard... Howard...
谢尔顿，这场停车位之战开始后我不知道你是个如此疯狂的混...霍华德
that's not how we practiced it.
跟着练习时的剧本走
I had no idea how much that spot meant to you.
我不知道那个停车位对你来说这么重要
Anyway, I called President Siebert and told him it's not worth fighting over the spot, so you keep it, and I'll park in the structure across the street.
总之，我打了电话给塞伯特校长我跟他说争停车位不值得你留着吧，我就停在街对面的停车场好了
Well, Howard, thank you. It's quite a gesture on your part.
霍华德，谢谢你。你这样做很有风度。
You've shown yourself to be the bigger man. Thank you.
你证明了你是豁然大度的汉子，谢谢。
Which I find totally unacceptable.
我完全不能接受这结果
I must be the bigger man.
我一定得比人大度才行
Therefore, you may use my spot until such time as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.
因此，你可以用我的停车位直到我学会开车或是有了蝙蝠车
Wow, okay. Well, thanks. I don't know what to say. There is nothing to say.
好的。谢谢。我不知道说什么好了，没什么好说的。
Except I'm the bigger man.
除了"你才是大度真汉子"
I'm not kidding. Say it. Just say it.
我没开玩笑，快说。说吧。
You're the bigger man, Sheldon. Oh, stop.
你才是大度真汉子，谢尔顿。少来了。
And I believe this is yours.
我相信这个是你的
FYI, if you wear that into a bank, they will tackle you to the ground.
告诉你，如果戴着这个进银行，保安会把你摁倒在地。
I'd like to propose a toast to burying the hatchet.
大家来干一杯吧敬恩怨一笔勾销
To burying the hatchet.
敬恩怨一笔勾销
You know, I'm kind of glad this happened. Me, too.
我有点开心发生这样的事。我也是。
In some weird way, I kind of feel like it brought us closer.
虽说有些怪异，但我感觉让我们更亲近了
Yeah, everybody's happy. Great! Can I help you?
皆大欢喜，好耶！有什么可以效劳的？
Yes. According to information I gleaned from Yelp, you had great success when a santeriasuzy37 brought you a pair of leather slacks stained with chicken blood.
是的，根据我从商户点评网上了解到的信息网友圣塔拉苏茜37拿来沾有鸡血的皮裤而你成功处理了
I believe I may have a similar problem.
我可能有着同样棘手的问题
This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle. A what?
这张座垫经历了复仇裸蹭。什么？
A naked man sat on it.
一个裸男坐在了上面
Now, here's my concern: His diet is rich in fatty deli meats.
我担心的问题是他的饮食成分富含脂肪过多的肉食
What test do you have to detect lipid residue?
你这里有哪些脂质残留的检验测试呢
Lipid what? Lipid residue.
什么脂质？脂质残留
An anal autograph. A colon calling card, if you will. Tuesday okay? Don't rush it.
亲屁签名。叫结肠名片也行。周二拿行吗？慢慢来，好好弄
We may be dealing with befoulment on a molecular level.
玷污程度可能已经达到分子级别了
Let me write you a ticket. Is that your son?
我给你开取货单，那是你儿子吗？
Looks like that laptop's seen better days.
看起来那个笔记本已经用了一段时日了
If you're interested, I'm selling this.
有兴趣的话，我在出售这个
It's only two years old, 16 gigabytes of RAM, Intel core, i7 processor, and I can personally guarantee it has spent less than 20 minutes resting on an astronaut's penis.
只用了两年16G内存英特尔芯片I7处理器而且我可以担保它放在一名男性宇航员性器官上的时间少于20分钟
