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I don't freaking believe this! Relax, it'll be fine.
真他妈不敢相信！别紧张，能装回去。
No, you have to put this back together right now, so I can return it!
不是，你现在必须装回去，我才能拿去退！
You can't return it. Howard wiped his bottom with the warranty.
你退不了了。霍华德用保修卡擦屁股了。
What? ! I think metaphorically. But he was in the bathroom for a while.
什么？！我猜他可能只是打个比方。但他刚真进了厕所好一会呢。
Howard, my father cut me off. I have to get my money back for this! Calm down.
霍华德，我爸不给我零用钱花了。我得把这玩意退了，把钱拿回来！冷静。
Okay. Okay, you're right. It's time for me to step up and take responsibility for my life. Be a man. Hello, Mummy.
好吧。好吧，你是对的。我是时候站出来为自己的人生负责了。当个爷们。是我啊，妈咪。
Hello, Rajesh. What a nice surprise.
拉杰什呀。这通电话真让我惊喜。
Well, I've been thinking about you. How are you doing? Are you happy, Mummy?
我一直很想你。你好吗？你快乐吗，妈咪？
Such a sweet boy for asking. Can't believe you come from the poison seed of your father.
乖儿子，真关心我。真不敢相信你是来自你父亲的毒种。
Well, I like to think I take mostly after you. Anyway, speaking of Daddy, I had a very strange conversation with him.
我觉得我比较随你。对了，说起爸爸，我们刚进行了一次非常奇怪的通话。
He said he couldn't afford to send me money anymore because of his active social life.
他说以后没钱打生活费给我了，因为他有活跃的社交生活。
What does that mean, "active social life"?
这话什么意思，"活跃的社交生活"？
Well, let's not talk about him or whatever shenanigans he may or may not be up to. Let's talk about you.
好啦，咱们别聊他了，谁在乎他有没有在密谋什么诡计啊。咱们来聊聊你吧。
Rajesh, is your father seeing someone?
拉杰什，你爸是不是跟人约会了？
All I know, Mummy, is that he's a single wealthy doctor, and now, for some reason, there's no money for your little boy.
妈咪，我只知道他是一个单身多金的医生，而现在出于某种原因突然没钱给你的宝贝儿子了。
Well, however much money your father was giving you, I'll give you more.
好，不管你老爸之前给你多少钱，我给你更多。
Thank you, Mummy, I love you! Helicopters for everybody!
谢谢妈咪，我爱你！一人一台直升机！
What's taking so long? I don't think this is gonna work.
怎么这么久啊？我觉得这么穿不行。
Just let me see. Sweetie, you know you're supposed to wear clothes underneath a graduation gown.
出来给我看看。亲爱的，毕业长袍里面应该穿上衣服。
A: surprised you know that. B: I wanted to look like a sexy graduate for you.
首先，我很惊讶你知道这点。其次，我想让你觉得我是一个性感毕业生。
Well, you do. Thank you. Yeah. You're gonna be on Skype; they're not gonna see your legs.
你成功了。谢谢。好啦。反正你是视频语聊，他们也看不到你的腿。
Well, I'm gonna go put on some pants just in case. But I have to say, this is very freeing.
以防万一，我还是穿上裤子吧。但我要说一句，这样穿真的好"解放"。
Add a belt and I'll take you someplace nice. Done and done.
系条腰带，我就带你去个好地方。没问题。
Okay, I think I've narrowed it down to a faulty pin on the onboard communication chip.
好了，我已经把故障缩小到飞机通讯芯片上一个错误的针脚。
Very impressive. You know, when you're done with that, can you look at this? It doesn't make smoke anymore.
真厉害。等你修完那台，可以看下这台吗？它不会冒烟了。
One toy at a time. Mm. Sorry. Ah, maybe it's for the best. I hear locomotive smoke is the second leading cause of death among train aficionados.
一个个来。抱歉。或许这样最好。我听说火车头的烟是火车宅们第二大死因。
What's the first one? Suicide. Wrong. Obesity. I have the tool you wanted. Thank you.
第一大死因是什么？自杀。错。肥胖。我把你要的工具拿来了。谢谢。
You guys don't have to go to the trouble. I'm back in the money now; I can just buy another helicopter.
你们其实不必这么费劲。哥现在又有钱了，再买一台就好啦。
It's not about the money. It's about solving a problem. It's why I became an engineer. It's what I like to do, it's what I'm trained to do. It's who I am.
重点不是钱，而是解决问题。这是我当工程师的初衷。我喜欢做这个，我学的也是这个。这就是我。
Oh, look at you, the little engineer that could. Why don't you just call tech support?
瞧你，小工程师做到了。为什么不找技术支持呢？
Hey! Not cool! What?
说啥呢！太逊了！怎么了？
There's two kinds of people in this world: those who call tech support and those who make fun of the people who call tech support.
这个世上有两种人：打给技术支持求助的人，与嘲笑前者的那种人。
I call tech support all the time. You call tech support! What a baby!
我就每次都打给技术支持啊。你居然找技术支持！真没用！
And now, for our commencement address, one of our most distinguished alumni, noted Caltech physicist Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
现在，我们的毕业典礼演讲邀请到了我们最杰出的校友之一：加州理工大学著名物理学家莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德。
Members of the faculty, students, I'm excited to speak to you today.
各位教员，各位同学，我今天很高兴能为大家致辞。
I can't help but remember the last time I was in this auditorium.
我脑海中一直记得上次来这礼堂的情景：
Two guys from the lacrosse team played keep-away with my asthma inhaler. But enough about my ten-year reunion.
两个长曲棍球队的人，拿我的气喘药吸入器当球打，不让我接。我毕业十年同学会的事就不讲了。
I'd also like to take a moment to thank my beautiful fiancee for to helping make this speech possible, even though weather nearly prevented it.
我也想再花点时间感谢我美丽的未婚妻，即使在天气不允许的情况下，仍将不可能变成现实。
Oh. Hello. II didn't know he was gonna point it at me, so...don't do drugs and stay in school.
哦，大家好啊。我不知道他会把镜头转过来，所以... 别吸毒，别辍学哦。
They're graduating. Okay, bye!
他们要毕业了。好吧，再见！
All right, the power supply is reconnected. I think we're back in business. Let's just run a few tests before we take it outside. Sheldon, we got WiFi? Check.
好了，电源供给重新连接上了。我觉得我们能出征啦。在出征前，先做几个测试。谢尔顿，网连上了吗？已连上。
GPS? Check. Battery charged? Check. Four hours of our lives gone? Check.
全球定位系统呢？已定位。电池充满了吗？已充满。四小时的生命浪费掉了吗？已浪费。
All right. All systems go. In five four, three, two, one.
好的。各系统准备工作就绪。倒数五秒，四，三，二，一。
That's what my train used to do. Ready to call tech support?
我的小火车以前也能这样。准备好打给技术支持了吗？
Give me the number. Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy who's reading from the same manual I have.
给我号码吧。打了估计也是哪国客服看着同样的说明书机械化地回答问题。
It's my father, you jerks. Hello, Daddy.
我爸打来了，都怪你们俩混蛋。爸比，怎么了。
What did you say to your mother?
你跟你妈妈说了什么？
Nothing. I was just calling to check in, make sure she's doing okay.
没有啊。我就打给她问个好，看看她最近怎么样啊。
Well, after talking to you, she seems to think I'm some sort of playboy.
她跟你说完电话后，她貌似觉得我是个风流浪子。
Really? I don't know where she'd get an idea like that. You know mummy and her crazy imagination. I'm so lucky I take after you.
真的吗？我不知道她怎么会产生这种想法。你也懂妈咪这人，还有她常会乱想。我觉得我能随你真是太幸运了。
You think you take after me?
你觉得你是随我吗？
Well, I try to. I certainly wouldn't be a scientist if you hadn't been my role model. Who wants to go to Vegas in a real helicopter? !
我尽量这么想啊。如果不是有你做榜样，我也不会去当科学家。谁想坐真的直升飞机去拉斯维加斯？！
It was L.Frank Baum who said, "No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure." Wow, I'm boring myself.
弗兰克·鲍姆曾说过，"多厉害的小偷，都无法偷走别人脑中的知识。所以知识是最棒最安全的宝藏。"我自己听了都觉得无聊。
Sorry, I can't see any of your faces right now, but I bet they look like this.
抱歉，我现在看不到你们的表情，但我猜大概是这样。
Uh, you know, II wrote an entire speech to say how high school prepares you and what a wonderful place it is, but I hated it.
其实，我写了整篇致辞，要说高中让你准备好面对未来，以及高中有多美好。但其实我超讨厌高中。
Maybe high school's great if you look like this...
或许有人高中过得很开心，前提是你长这样...
But I didn't even feel like I existed at that school. And now that I think about it, I bet a lot of you feel the same way.
但其实我当年觉得自己超没存在感。现在回头想想，我猜你们很多人也有这种感觉。
So, for the remainder of my speech, this is for the invisible kids.
所以我接下来的致辞，要献给没有存在感的孩子们。
Uh, maybe you never fit in. Or maybe you're the smallest kid in the school, or the heaviest or the weirdest.
或许你在学校格格不入。或许你是学校里最矮小、最胖的 、或最怪的孩子。
Maybe you're graduating and you still haven't had your first kiss. By the way, 19; and Geraldine Coco, wherever you are, thank you.
或许你都要毕业了，可到现在初吻还在。比如我是到19岁才有的。洁拉尔丁·珂珂，无论此时你在哪，谢谢你。
Maybe you don't have any friends. And guess what? That's okay.
或许你没有任何朋友。其实，这根本无所谓。
While all the popular kids are off doing...whatever, I don't know what they were doing 'cause I was never there...
尽管那些人缘好的孩子们都去干...其实我也不知道他们去干嘛了，因为我没机会去...
I'll I'll tell you later.
我，我等会告诉你。
My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting.
但我的重点是，那些你独自一人度过的时间，比如组装电脑，或练习大提琴，其实你真正在做的是让自己变有趣。
And when people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought.
等有天别人终于注意到你时，他们会发现一个比他们想象中更酷的人。
And for those of you who were popular in high school, it's over, sorry.
至于那些高中人缘好玩得开的同学，好日子到头了，抱歉。
Thank you and congratulations.
谢谢各位，恭喜你们毕业。
Your call is important to us. All our technicians are busy helping other customers. Please stay on the line and someone will be with you shortly.
你们的来电对我们十分重要。目前我们所有的技术人员都在忙。请稍作等待，很快就有人来为你们服务。
What happened to me? When did I become an old man baffled by modern technology?
我这是怎么了？我什么时候变成了老人，被现代科技所困惑？
Next thing you know, I'll be hitching my pants up to my armpits and complaining about the awful music the kids are listening to.
接下来，我估计就要穿高到我腋下的高腰裤，然后抱怨现在小孩听的音乐有多难听了。
It is awful, isn't it? Listen to that noise. Hang on, hang on. It's working! I did it!
的确是很难听啊，对吧？你们听听这噪音。等等，等等。它好了！我成功了！
How'd you do that? No idea, but I did it!
你怎么做到的？不知道啊，但我成功了！
Maybe you shouldn't be flying it inside. Well, I'm not flying it! Then who is?
不应该在室内飞吧。不是我控制它！那谁在控制？
I don't know! Must be getting a WiFi signal from somewhere else!
我不知道！肯定是从别的地方接收到了无线信号！
Initiate landing sequence! Initiate landing sequence! Hey, the camera's working! Oh, look, it's me.
启动降落程序！启动降落程序！摄像机也能用了呢！看，是我呢。
Tech support, can I help you? Yes, it's a robot uprising! Call the police!
这里是技术支持部，请问您需要什么帮助？机器人起义了！快打给警察！
So you really think they liked it? Oh, sweetie, it was the best speech I...
你真觉得他们喜欢我的致辞吗？亲爱的，这是我这辈子听过最棒的...
Don't worry, everyone in here is safe.
不用担心，我们里面的人都安然无恙。
