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Well, obviously, they don't have anything. Let's go.
一看他们就没啥东西。我们走吧。
Max, stop. My pants just ripped some more. I have to fix them again.
麦克斯，别走。我裤子又多裂了点。我得再补一下。
Hey, quality, why don't you just take them to Office Depot and get them tailored?
好材质妹。你怎么不带这条裤子去办公用品卖场找人"缝补"一下？
Let's shop. Uh-oh, they're ripping again. I feel a breeze up in my febreze.
开逛吧。惨了，又开始裂了。我的水帘洞感觉到一股清风吹过。
How can I help you?
有何能为你效劳？
Oh, hey. Hi, uh, Chiandra. Where can I get a new flip phone?
你好啊。西安卓。我可以去哪里弄个新翻盖手机？
Mm, let me think. Guatemala.
让我想想。危地马拉吧。
I'll miss you, phone. This is breaking my heart.
我会想你的，小机机。我的心都要碎了。
Come on, boo. It's a phone, not Bruno Mars. Now, I need that letter.
宝贝，别这样。这只是个手机，不是火星哥。把信给我吧。
Oh, here it is. I have it. It's in my purse.
有的。就在我这边。在我包里。
What's her story? Why is her hand on her ass?
她是怎么回事？她干嘛把手放屁股上？
Her staples popped.
她订书针爆了。
Lap band? Happened to my cousin.
减肥胃束带吗？我亲戚也发生过。
She had a diet 7 up and exploded. Then she got M.S.
她喝个健怡七喜，然后就爆了。然后她被诊断有多发性硬化。
According to Judge Joe Brown, it was not related.
但法官乔·布朗宣判，这两者间并无关联。
Uh, here, I'll just take this one.
这台吧，我就拿这台。
Slow down, now. Take a look around. You got a whole world of possibilities.
别着急啊。慢慢看。你有各式各样的选择呢。
Pick 'em up, get a feel, hold it in your hand for a while.
都拿起来摸摸试试，握在手里好好爽一把。
Chiandra, it's a phone, not Bruno Mars.
西安卓，这只是手机，不是火星哥。
Oh, "Texting is easy with the new finger friendly keyboard."
"轻松发短信，试试全新手指便利键盘。"
My fingers are already too friendly. Ask my fourth-grade boyfriend.
我的手指绝对"友善"啊。问问我的四年级男友就知道。
These sample texts are getting kind of racy.
这些范例短信越来越猥亵啦。
"Bad news, I think the condom broke last night."
"坏消息，昨晚的避孕套好像破了。"
Why would anyone put that on a display model?
怎么会有人放这种短信在展示机上啊？
That's mine. I left it there by accident. But that's not your problem.
那是我的手机。我不小心把它放在上面。但不关你们的事。
Now, tell me, what are your phone needs?
告诉我，你需要什么功能的手机？
Uh, my needs are simple. I need a phone that can draw a mustache on people and occasionally will call my mother and hang up.
我的需要很简单。我需要一台能给别人乱画胡子，偶尔会打给我妈再自动挂电话的手机。
And she needs one with a good camera, because I have to film my video pitch for new pants.
她还需要有好相机的手机，因为她要帮我录讨新裤子的视频。
I have a hole in my butt.
我的屁股有个洞。
You know you're supposed to, right?
你知道谁的屁股上都有个洞，对吧？
Max, I might be a virgin again.
麦克斯，我好像又变处女了。
