评论
打印
Oh, my God. Look at this line.
天啊，瞧这队排得。
I knew we should have gotten here sooner, but, no, I had to be a good person,
我早说了我们应该早点过来，但某人要装好人，
I had to carry that torso man on the skateboard up the subway stairs.
要帮忙人家把滑滑板的假人给搬上地铁楼梯。
All this is for a croissant and a doughnut? Those things already existed.
排这么长，就为了吃牛角面包加甜甜圈？这俩东西早就发明了。
Where was all the fanfare when I combined the sleeping pill with the morning after pill
我当年混合了事后避孕药与安眠药时，我的广大粉丝热潮都上哪去了，
and called it the "sleep-through- the-morning-after" Pill?
那药我命名为"事后睡一觉避孕药"。
How did these things get so popular?
这东西怎么会这么火爆啊？
There's no science to this trend stuff.
潮流本来就是很不科学的东西。
It's all decided by one bitchy gay guy typing in his room, making it all up.
就只是某个死贱基男在房里瞎掰报道捧起来的。
Well, then we have to do some trend research.
那我们得研究一下这潮流啊。
We've got to figure out how to make Max's homemade cupcakes the next cronuts.
得研究出怎么样把麦克斯自制小蛋糕捧成下一个牛角圈。
I hate all these stupid trends. Cleanses, cronuts, condoms.
我烦死这些潮流商品了。排毒，牛角圈，避孕套。
Excuse me, sir, My name's Caroline. I'm a trend researcher.
先生，打扰一下。我叫卡洛琳。我是一个潮流分析员。
I'm Chuck. I sell magnets.
我叫查克。卖磁铁的。
What made you want to spend an entire day in line for cronuts?
是什么原因让你排队一整天只为了买到牛角圈？
I like croissants. I like doughnuts. I'm a fat guy. It all adds up.
我喜欢牛角面包。也喜欢甜甜圈。我还是个胖子。不言自明了吧。
That's true. You are a fat guy. And there's a doughnut shop right across the street.
的确。你是个胖子没错。对街就有一家甜甜圈店。
So why don't you just stop there, get a damn doughnut,
你为啥不去那边一趟，买个甜甜圈呢，
and save yourself the last 200 possibly life-threatening steps to here?
也拯救你於之前那200步随时都可能倒下的路程呢？
Look, it's two things I like put together. End of story.
这东西把我两个所爱食物合二为一。还需要解释吗。
That's it, Max. It's the two things together. One thing isn't enough anymore.
就是这个，麦克斯。重点在合二为一。单纯一个已经不够了。
Yeah, that's why Oleg's cousin hung himself.
所以奥列格的表哥才上吊自杀啊。
I'm serious. When's the last time you did just one thing?
我是认真的。你上一次只做一件事是什么时候？
Like, watch a movie without playing a game on your phone?
比如没一边看电影，一边在玩手机？
Magic Mike. Wait, does playing with yourself count?
看《魔力麦克》时。等等，边看边"玩自己"算吗？
Come on, let's get to the end of the line.
走吧，我们去最后面排队吧。
End of the line? That's for rookies. I'm a line pro.
最后面排队？那是新手干的事。我是排队大师。
My mom and I waited in line for food stamps, Bob Seger lawn seats.
我和我妈总需要排队等食品救济劵，演唱会场外草地位。
We spent a Saturday in the "Guns for cash" line.
不过我们有个周六在"枪换钱"活动排了一天。
Now that's a line you don't want to cut in. Follow my lead.
因为那个队绝对不能随便插。跟着我。
Hey, man, cronut line. What do you want to do after this?
兄弟，排队买牛角圈呢。买完之后打算干嘛？
Okay, all right, all right. Back of the line. Everybody relax.
好啦，行行行，我们去最后。大家别激动。
Guess my mom being topless had more to do with my line skills than I thought.
原来我的插队技术影响力远没有我妈裸上身来得大啊。
