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Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video.
Psych2Goers，大家好，欢迎收看本期视频。
Have you ever met a new classmate who was so charismatic that they were instantly likable?
你有没有遇到过某个新同学非常有魅力，很快就能让大家都喜欢他？
Or encountered someone who drew everyone to them with their magnetic presence?
或者说这个人的魅力能够吸引所有人的喜欢？
While there are certainly some qualities and character traits that can get you far in life, like intelligence, integrity, determination and perseverance, charisma is arguably one of the most important but most difficult to achieve.
虽然有一些品质和性格特质能让你在生活中更受欢迎，比如智慧、正直、决心和毅力，但“魅力”这一点可以说是最重要但也是最难实现的品质之一。
Charisma is defined as a special quality some people possess that allows them to relate to and inspire others on a deep, emotional level.
“魅力”被定义为某些人拥有的一种特殊品质，它能让他们在深层的情感层面上与他人产生共鸣并激励他人。
And to a lot of us, charisma seems to be something elusive, intangible and innate.
对我们很多人来说，魅力似乎是一种难以捉摸的、无形的、与生俱来的东西。
Charismatic people are natural-born leaders who effortlessly command the attention of everyone in the room.
有魅力的人是天生的领导者，他们可以毫不费力地吸引房间里所有人的注意力。
They're very confident, charming, inspiring and easy to be around. That's nothing you can just fake.
他们非常自信、迷人、令人振奋、容易相处。这些特质是无法伪造的。
Psychology, however, argues that charisma isn't as intrinsic or predetermined as it might seem.
然而心理学认为，魅力并不像看上去那样是内在的或者先天的，
It's now thought that we can attribute, build and cultivate charisma within ourselves over time.
而是可以慢慢在自己身上建立并培养起来的。
So here are six tried and true ways that you can be the most magnetic person in the room.
这里有六种行之有效的方法，可以让你成为房间里最具魅力的那一个。
Number one, set a playful tone.
第一，设定有趣的基调。
First impressions do matter. While it's true that first impressions aren't always accurate, and the way you feel or perceive someone can change over time.
第一印象很重要，然而第一印象并不总是准确的，对他人的感觉或感知会随着时间的推移慢慢变化。
First impressions do hold a much more meaningful and lasting impact than you might realize.
不过第一印象确实比你想象的更有意义、更持久。
If you want to be charismatic, it's best to set a playful tone with people you first meet.
如果你想变得有魅力，最好和第一次见面的人设定一个幽默的基调。
Come in with lots of energy and get the ball rolling right away.
带着充沛的精力进来，让事情马上开始。
Don't make the mistake of letting your nerves show by keeping your voice quiet and making the gestures small.
不要错误地通过放低声音和微小的手势来表现你的紧张。
Make a point to be more noticeable, outgoing, friendly and warm.
要让自己变得更加引人注目、外向、友好和热情。
Then you'll be surprised how much easier it'll be to connect with people, make friends and get them to like you once you do.
一旦你这样做了，你就会惊讶地发现这会让你与他人联系、交往、让他们喜欢你变得特别容易。
Number two, tell people some good stories.
第二，跟别人讲一些好的故事。
Whether it's at a party or a presentation, it's always good to have a few interesting stories and funny anecdotes up your sleeve.
无论是聚会还是演讲，说一些有趣的故事和轶事总是好的。
Making your audience laugh will really captivate their attention.
让你的观众大笑会真的吸引到他们的注意力。
And if you're able to move them with your masterful storytelling, then you'll have no problem attracting a flock of people around you at every social gathering.
如果你能用你那高超的故事打动他们，那么你在每一个社交聚会上都能吸引一群人。
Be confident in your delivery. Keep your story short and focused.
要对自己的演讲有信心，让自己的故事简短而有重点。
Tell it in the present tense and use a lot of animated gestures.
用现在时态来讲，用很多生动的手势。
Don't be afraid to pause for effect and use a variety of voices to make it more interesting.
不要害怕为了效果而卡壳，要用不同的声音来使它变得更有趣。
Number three, think on your feet.
第三，反应迅速。
Aside from being confident and charismatic, another quality that really draws people in and makes you seem more fun to be around is if you have a witty and quick-thinking sense of humor.
除了自信和魅力之外，另一个能吸引他人、让人觉得你更有趣的特质就是你有一种机智、思维敏捷的幽默感。
People who know how to think on their feet are easily perceived as being more likable, clever and alluring, so stay sharp in your conversations with others.
知道如何快速思考的人很容易被认为更可爱、更聪明、更有魅力，所以在与他人交谈时要保持敏锐。
You don't even need to be smart or explicitly funny to pull this off.
你甚至不需要很聪明或者很搞笑就能做到这一点。
All you really need to do is think fast and act quickly every time you see an opening.
你真正要做的就是在每次看到机会的时候迅速思考并行动。
Be it for a tasteful joke or an interesting story.
无论是一个有品位的笑话还是一个有趣的故事。
Banter with people to make them feel more engaged in your interactions too.
和他人开玩笑也能让他们更加投入到你的互动当中。
This will instantly make your conversations seem much more lively and thoughtful than if you just react and nod along to everything everyone else is saying.
令你的谈话更加生动、更有思想，而不是仅仅点头回应并附和别人说的每件事。
Number four, say what you feel.
第四，说出你的感受。
Charismatic people tend to be very open and honest about their thoughts and feelings, which is what makes them so easy to trust.
有魅力的人往往对自己的想法和感受非常地开放和诚实，这是他们很容易被信任的原因。
So if you're talking to someone you want to impress or befriend, don't make the mistake of lying to them or pretending to seem more agreeable or impressive.
所以，如果你想让别人对你印象深刻或成为你的朋友，不要错误地对他们撒谎或者假装更讨人喜欢或更令人印象深刻。
Instead, say what you feel.
相反，你要说出自己的感受。
And this will make you seem more genuine and easy to talk to but of course, it's also important to be mindful of the other person's feelings, so be honest but polite when you give your opinion on something.
这会让你看起来更真诚，更容易交谈，但是当然了，考虑他人的感受也很重要，所以当你给出自己的意见时要诚实并有礼貌。
And if you feel like you've stepped on a sensitive topic, such as politics or religious beliefs, then quickly but subtlety steer the conversation back to a more neutral ground with a dismissive joke or vague but still truthful answer.
如果你觉得自己已经踏入了一个敏感的话题，比如政治或宗教信仰类话题，那就用一个轻蔑的笑话或者一个模糊但仍真诚的回答迅速但微妙地把谈话带回到一个更中立的领域。
Number five, smile with your eyes.
第五，用眼睛微笑。
In counseling psychology, there is what is known as the SOFTEN technique and it's something counselors and therapists alike use to make people more comfortable in their presence.
在咨询心理学中有一种被称为“软化”的技巧，它是咨询师和治疗师都会使用的，这样能够让他人在自己面前更加地舒服。
It's all about using your body language to your advantage and it stands for smile, open posture, forward lean, take notes, eye contact and nod.
“软化”就是要使用自己身体语言的优势，比如微笑、开放的姿势、前倾、做笔记、眼神交流、点头。
Using any one of these nonverbal cues, or better yet, all of them together, will really make people feel more at ease when talking to you, especially if you smile with your eyes.
使用任何一种非语言暗示，或者使用所有的非语言暗示，真的能让他人在与你交谈时感觉更加轻松，尤其是当你的眼睛微笑时。
Smiling with your eyes not only prompts people to smile at you in return but it also makes you seem more genuine and empathetic to others.
眼睛微笑不仅能够促使他人也对你施以微笑，还能让你看上去更真诚、更能体谅他人。
And number six, be a likable listener.
第六，做一名讨人喜欢的听众。
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, being a likable listener is really key to seeming more likable, magnetic and charismatic to those around you.
最后但也许是最重要的一点，做一个讨人喜欢的倾听者是让你看起来更讨人喜欢、更具有吸引力、更富有魅力的关键。
People love talking about themselves, so be sure to encourage that.
人们喜欢谈论自己，所以一定要鼓励他们谈论自己。
Make someone feel heard and valued by asking them open-ended, talk-about-themselves questions to elicit a more thoughtful response from them.
通过问一些开放式的、关于他们自己的问题来让他们感到自己被倾听和被重视，从而从他们那里得到更深思熟虑的回答。
You can ask them things like why, what does it mean? What was it like?
你可以问他们为什么？是什么意思？什么感觉？
This works especially well if you can find something that the other person is passionate about because it makes them excited to answer your questions and wanna talk to you more.
如果你能找到对方感兴趣的东西这种方法就会特别地行之有效，这会让他们兴奋地回答你的问题，想要和你进行更多的交谈。
So what about you? Do you see yourself as someone magnetic and charismatic?
你呢？你觉得自己有吸引力、有魅力吗？
Or do you still think you might yet need to cultivate these skills? Let us know in the comments below.
或者你认为自己可能还需要培养这些技能？请在下方的评论区中告诉我们。
As long as you remember these nifty tips and tricks, your skillset should grow over time.
只要记住这些妙招和技巧，你的技能就会慢慢地增强。
Using these tips is how you become the kind of person that others wanna be around.
运用这些技巧，你就能成为别人想要待在你身边的人。
