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与陌生人社交的艺术(上)

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Book Review

书评

Hello, Stranger. By Will Buckingham.

《你好陌生人》威尔·白金汉

The Power of Strangers. By Joe Keohane.

《陌生人的力量》乔·基奥恩

Fractured. By Jon Yates.

《断裂》乔恩·耶茨

Attitudes to strangers tend to follow a familiar pattern. Children are taught never to speak to unknown grown-ups, especially those regarded by their parents as untrustworthy. The onset of adolescence and young adulthood brings a bursting desire to interact with all sorts of people, particularly the kind who might not elicit family approval. Whether the resulting encounters are sexual or social, they confer a thrilling frisson of escape.

人们对陌生人的态度往往遵循一种常见的模式。孩子们被教育永远不要和不认识的成年人说话,尤其是那些被父母认为不可信赖的人。随着青春期和成年初期而来的,是一种与各种人交往的强烈愿望,尤其是那些可能得不到家人认可的人。无论最终的邂逅是性的还是社交的,它们都给予人一种逃避的快感。

Social circles generally narrow again as people find life-partners, form households and produce offspring of their own. Time becomes scarce; new friendships are often based on sharing the burden of child care. Some people never recover the youthful zest for unforeseen liaisons. Professional duties swell even as parental ones diminish, and the inclination sags. In old age, even if curiosity and charisma remain undimmed, frailty makes new serendipitous connections harder to establish.

当人们找到生活伴侣、组建家庭、繁衍后代时,社交圈通常会再次缩小。时间变得稀缺;新的友谊通常建立在分担照顾孩子的负担之上。有些人永远无法恢复年轻时对意外邂逅的热情。即使作为父母的职责减少,职业责任也会增加,从而降低社交倾向。到了老年,即使好奇心和魅力丝毫不受影响,脆弱也会使新的邂逅更难建立。

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But that is not the whole story. In mid-life and beyond people can still experience the joy of a random meeting, however short, which somehow touches a nerve. That might involve nothing more than a smile, or a chance remark that hits an emotional spot; or it might be an unexpectedly deep conversation on a plane or train, a surge of mutual understanding that is life-affirming even if the interlocutor is never seen again. This aspect of the promise and peril of strangers has enticed storytellers — from the rapture of “Brief Encounter” and “Before Sunrise” to the ruin of “Strangers on a Train”. The knowledge that the exchange will be a one-off can permit a delicious, uninhibited frankness.

但这并不是故事的全部。人到中年或中年以后,仍能体验到偶遇的快乐,尽管这种快乐很短暂,但不知何故却触动了人们的神经。可能只是一个微笑,或者是一句触及到情感点的偶然评论;也可能是在飞机或火车上的一次意外的深度对话,即使相互再也见不到,这股相互理解的浪潮也会给生活带来积极影响。从《相见恨晚》和《爱在黎明破晓前》的狂喜到《火车怪客》的毁灭,陌生人的承诺和危险吸引了各路故事讲述者。认识到交流是一次性的这个前提,才能体会美好的、无拘无束的坦率。

In the age of covid-19 and Zoom, the chronological pattern has been warped. Instead of their hazy possibilities and risks, strangers have assumed an all-too-literal role as a looming source of infection. During lockdowns they are officially to be avoided. Yet youngsters still long, dangerously, for the ecstasy of communion, not just with edgy individuals but anonymous crowds. People of all ages have come to miss the human stimulation of busy high streets or trains, or the comforting sense of fellowship in a cinema or theatre audience.

在新冠肺炎和视频交流的时代,一直以来的模式被改变了。陌生人不再是他们模糊不清的可能性和风险,而是承担了一个完全字面意义上的潜在传染源的角色。在封锁期间,与陌生人接触是被禁止的。然而,危险的是,年轻人仍然渴望交流的狂喜,不仅想与令人激动的个人交流,也想与无名的人群交流。各个年龄层的人已经开始怀念繁忙的大街小巷和车流带给人的刺激,或者在电影院或剧院观众间的舒适的友谊感。

译文由可可原创,仅供学习交流使用,未经许可请勿转载。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
ecstasy ['ekstəsi]

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n. 狂喜,入迷
Ecstasy
n

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permit ['pə:mit,pə'mit]

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n. 许可证,执照
v. 允许,许可

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scarce [skɛəs]

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adj. 缺乏的,不足的,稀少的,罕见的
ad

 
escape [is'keip]

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v. 逃跑,逃脱,避开
n. 逃跑,逃脱,(逃

 
fellowship ['feləuʃip]

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n. 友谊,团体,会员资格,奖学金

 
social ['səuʃəl]

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adj. 社会的,社交的
n. 社交聚会

 
conversation [.kɔnvə'seiʃən]

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n. 会话,谈话

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elicit [i'lisit]

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vt. 引出,诱探出

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swell [swel]

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v. (使)膨胀,(使)鼓起,(使)增长
n.

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diminish [di'miniʃ]

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vt. 减少,变小,减损
vi. 变少,逐渐变

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