评论
打印
Hey, psych2goers, and welcome back to our channel. Thank you so much for all the love you've given us.
嘿，大家好，欢迎回来。非常感谢大家给我们的爱。
Your ongoing support helps us make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone. Now let's continue.
您的持续支持能够帮助大家更好地学习心理学。下面我们继续。
When you think of finding the one, what type of person comes to mind?
当你想到自己的真命天子的时候，脑海中会浮现出什么样的人？
Do you think of your ideal partner, someone who truly understands you, and accepts you just as you are?
你觉得你的理想伴侣一定是一个能够真正理解你、接受真实的你的人吗？
Modern media really pushes the idea of finding that perfect person.
现代的媒体确实推动了“找一个完美的另一半”这种想法。
And while indulging in the rom-com fantasy can be fun and exciting, being in a relationship is not a requirement for happiness.
虽然沉浸在浪漫喜剧的幻想中很有趣也很刺激，但恋爱并不是幸福的必要条件。
Relationships are a personal choice and the one you hold with yourself is the most important one of all.
人际关系是个人的选择，你自己能接受才是最重要的。
With that being said, do you wonder why you haven't met your other half yet?
话虽如此，你想知道为什么你还没有遇到自己的那个他(她)吗？
Here are six reasons why you haven't found the one yet.
以下是你还没有找到另一半的6个原因。
One, you lack self-love.
第一，你缺乏自爱。
What does self-love actually mean? In its simplest form, it means to value yourself and to make you and your needs a priority.
到底什么是“自爱”？“自爱”简单来说就是你重视自己，把自己以及自己的需求放在首位。
It means acknowledging that you aren't perfect and being able to see each personal shortfall as an opportunity to become a better you.
这意味着你要承认自己的不完美，要把个人的缺点看作是一个让自己变得更好的机会。
You might've heard that you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first.
你可能听说过这句话：一个连自己都不爱的人，怎么会去爱别人？
And there is some truth to this. Expecting all the love from your person to come from someone else can create dependency and it isn't healthy.
这句话确实很有道理。只期待别人来爱你会产生依赖性，而且这是不健康的。
Two, you're not ready to date.
第二，你还没准备好约会。
Do you find that maybe you're not ready to seriously start dating yet.
你有没有发现自己还没有准备好开始正式约会？
Do you want to focus on your education, your career or your family right now? Making this decision is a personal one.
现在的你想专注于自己的教育、事业还是家庭呢？这个决定属于个人决定。
And it's not a bad thing. If your instincts are to prioritize your personal goals for the time being, that's okay.
这不是一件坏事，如果说你的直觉是暂时优先考虑自己的个人目标，那也没关系。
For when a relationship does come along, you'll be better equipped to put all your effort into that other person.
因为当一段关系真的出现时，你会更好地准备把自己所有的努力都投入到对方身上。
Three, you've been pursuing the wrong people.
第三，你追错人了。
Are you struggling to find any luck in your dating life?
在你的约会日常中，你在努力寻找好运吗？
Before you start blaming yourself, consider why the relationship with those people didn't work out.
在你开始责备自己之前，先考虑一下为什么你和他们的关系没有进展下去。。
Remember that the point of dating is to judge compatibility between two people.
记住，约会的重点是判断两人之间的默契度。
And there's no shame in stopping a relationship there.
停止一段感情并不是什么羞愧的事情。
When you love and value yourself, you'll learn to say no to relationships that might not be healthy for you so that the right one will come along.
当你爱自己、珍视自己的时候，你就会学会拒绝那些对你来说可能不健康的关系，以便那个对的人出现。
When one door closes, another always opens but often, we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
当上帝为你关上一扇门，也会为你打开另一扇门。但是呢，我们常常会久久地盯着那扇关闭的门，而看不见另一扇为我们打开的门。
Four, you haven't put yourself out there.
第四，没有放开。
While there's nothing wrong with having a reserved or shy personality, it could be a factor in why you haven't met the one yet.
虽然内向或者害羞不是什么错，但这可能是导致你至今都还单身的一个因素。
Finding your perfect partner starts with social connection.
找到你的完美伴侣要从社会关系开始。
If you've been holding out on going to social events with friends in exchange for more private affairs, this might be something to consider.
如果你一直不愿意和朋友一起参加社交活动以此来拓宽社交圈子，那你是需要反省一下了。
Who knows what might happen when you step out of your comfort zone?
谁知道当你走出自己的舒适区会发生什么呢？
Five, you're stuck in the past.
第五，你执着于过去。
It's hard to date someone new when you're still thinking about your past relationships.
当你还想着过去的恋情时，会很难再去和别的人约会。
It's natural to compare a new relationship to your previous one, but you might compromise your current relationship in doing so.
你会很自然地将一段新的关系和前一段关系进行比较，但是这样做可能会损害你现在的关系。
This prevents you from getting to know your new partner and might be holding you back from them.
这会阻碍你了解自己的新伴侣，可能会让你的新的那个他渐行渐远。
Six, you have unrealistic expectations.
第六，你有不切实际的期望。
What is your outlook on other people? Do you have high expectations for your future partner?
你对他人的期待是什么？你对未来的伴侣期望高吗？
Maybe your vision for an ideal partner leaves little room for error.
或许你期待你的理想伴侣“不能犯一丁点儿错”。
Every one of us is flawed and prone to mistakes.
每个人都有缺点，都会犯错。
Just because they don't check all your boxes doesn't mean they won't be a wonderful person.
一个人或许不符合你的要求，但并不意味着他不优秀。
Wherever you are in your romantic life, we hope you'll find someone who honors you for all that you are.
无论你身处浪漫生活的哪个阶段，我们都希望你能找到一个尊重你的人。
Your special someone will come along eventually.
属于你的那个特别之人终有一天会出现。
Did you relate to any of the reasons mentioned in this video?
这六条里有没有哪一条说的就是你呢？
If so, what do you plan to do differently? Tell us in the comments below.
如果有，你打算怎么去改变呢？在评论区告诉我们吧！
