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从你的花钱习惯来探究你的情感模式

来源:可可英语 编辑:Vicki   可可英语APP下载 |  可可官方微信:ikekenet

I am an accountant with a numbers problem.

我是个在数字方面有问题的会计。

I mean, I'm good with numbers and using them to report what's happening, but I'm also concerned with the full story behind those numbers,

我是说,我很擅长算数字,并且能用数字反映信息,但我也很关注数字背后的故事,

the part that gets lost in translation, the part that numbers can't quite tell, the story that goes deeper than mere strategies for saving and earning money.

那些数字无法体现、无法传达的故事,那些不仅仅是关于省钱和挣钱的内容。

And without that story, I don't think I'm doing my job well.

看不到这些信息,我就觉得自己工作没做好。

That's why I've dedicated my career to figuring out how my work as an accountant can tell stories about people, stories that will ultimately help them improve their lives.

这就是为什么我一直努力研究作为一名会计,我们的工作是如何讲述别人的故事的,这些故事最终将帮助他们改善生活。

Let me explain.

我来解释一下。

It all started when someone told me, "You're obsessed with chocolate."

这一切都始于别人跟我说:“你对巧克力上瘾啊。”

And I was like, "What? No, I'm not."

我当时想:“什么?才没有呢。”

But then I wondered, could I be in denial about my own obsession?

但后来我想,我是不是在否认自己的嗜好呢?

Was I actually spending a lot of money on chocolate but blind to it?

我真的在巧克力上花了很多钱,但却对此视而不见吗?

Well, here was a chance for me to test this theory.

这是我检验这个理论的机会。

Using my accountant lens, off I went tracking my spending on chocolate -- and there it was, my love for chocolate.

我发挥了自己的会计特长,开始记录我在巧克力上的花费——结果就证明了我对巧克力的爱。

I was spending about 50 dollars a month on chocolate, especially in months when I was overstressed and months when I was overjoyed.

我每个月在巧克力上要花50美元,尤其是在压力大的时候和特别开心的时候。

Analyzing my expenses helped me to understand that I had an emotional pattern where when I'm struggling or celebrating, I binge on chocolate.

对开支的分析有助于我理解自己的情绪模式,当我难过或高兴时,就会狂吃巧克力。

I had struggled with my weight for a very long time and I was convinced that my diet was not the problem.

很长一段时间以来,我一直在与体重作斗争,我相信我的饮食没有问题。

I was convinced that it was my lack of effort in exercise, and certainly not chocolate.

我相信我的胖是因为锻炼不够努力,而不是因为吃了太多巧克力。

Tracking my spending on chocolate, though, helped me realize that I was afraid of facing myself in the mirror, literally and figuratively, and that I lack the courage to deal with the real problem, my diet.

然而,追踪我在巧克力上的花费,帮我意识到我害怕面对真实的自己,无论是真的照镜子还是心理上的,我缺乏勇气去处理真正的问题——我的饮食。

So I continued to exercise, but devoted less time to it and instead shifted my focus and energy towards developing a more healthful diet.

于是我继续锻炼,但锻炼时间减少,转而将注意力和精力放到更健康的饮食上。

That year I lost 50 pounds.

那一年我瘦了50磅。

Our relationship with money represents our relationship with life.

我们与金钱的关系代表了我们与生活的关系。

The accounting of my own chocolate behavior told me the story of my own denial.

我的巧克力成瘾体现了自我否认。

I realized that perhaps I could also help my clients see what they were overlooking in their own lives and help them realize their own emotional patterns through their tracking and spending of their expenses.

我意识到,也许我还可以帮助我的客户看到他们在自己的生活中忽略了什么,并通过跟踪和消费来帮助他们认识到自己的情感模式。

So I started to pay close attention to the story behind my clients' expenses that may be hidden to them.

于是我开始密切关注我的客户的开支背后可能隐藏的故事。

One of my clients, a critical care nurse, was convinced that her personal budget was reasonable and expenses justifiable.

我的一位客户,一位重症护理护士,相信自己的个人预算完全合理,开支也很合理。

She had struggled to build up her savings and I noticed that she had minimal records of her expenses.

她一直在努力攒钱,我发现她的开支记录很少。

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I suggested to her that her lack of savings could be due to more than just a gap in her financial knowledge and offered to help identify the problem.

我告诉她,她储蓄不足可能不仅仅是因为她在财务知识方面的欠缺,并主动提出要帮助她找出问题所在。

I encouraged her to start tracking and charting her expenses.

我鼓励她开始记录和追踪自己的开支。

After a few months, her financial records revealed that most of her spending was on expensive clothing and shoes.

几个月后,她的财务记录显示,她的大部分支出都花在了昂贵的衣服和鞋子上。

As we sat together, she was genuinely surprised to see just how much of her budget was going towards fashion.

我们坐在一起时,她对自己在时尚方面所花的钱感到惊讶。

She remarked, "Wow, these are impulsive purchases, aren't they?

她说:“哇,这些都是冲动购物,不是吗?

I guess I didn't realize that."

我都没有意识到这一点。”

She analyzed further and realized that she was buying clothes in an attempt to impress and appear successful to her friends.

进一步分析后,她意识到买衣服是为了给朋友留下好印象,在朋友面前像成功人士。

And also when her confidence was low, buying clothes temporarily boosted it.

当她信心低落时,买衣服也能暂时提振她的信心。

She told me that buying clothing was her attempt to find meaning in life and feel valued.

她告诉我,她会通过买衣服去寻找生活的意义,感受生命的价值。

She sighed, and she set a goal for herself and her finances.

她叹了口气,为自己和财务支出设定了一个目标。

Six months later, she called me to tell me she had saved a bunch of money by reducing her spending on shopping and instead choosing to exercise when she felt the urge to shop.

六个月后,她打电话给我,告诉我她通过减少购物开支省了一大笔钱,当她有购物冲动时,就会选择锻炼身体。

She's much happier around her friends.

她和朋友在一起变得更快乐了。

Three years later, home ownership is on the horizon.

三年后,她即将拥有自己的房子。

Sometimes, though, charting expenses may not reveal something specific, as a chocolate addiction or shopping problem, but what it reveals can be just as valuable.

不过,有时候,虽然记录开支无法揭示一些具体的东西,比如巧克力上瘾或购物问题,但它揭示的其他信息可能同样有价值。

A marketing strategist and upcoming musician needed help with her taxes.

一位营销战略家兼准音乐家在税务方面需要帮助。

When I met with her, I immediately took note of the fear in her face as she looked through her records and expenses.

见到她时,我立刻注意到她在查看记录和开支时脸上惊恐的表情。

I checked in with her and she expressed to me that some things in her life didn't quite seem to work out, including her relationships.

我问了她,她告诉我,她生活中的一些事情似乎不太顺利,包括她的人际关系。

She was afraid of facing how much money she was about to lose after taxes.

她害怕面对税后的巨额损失。

As we continued talking about her finances, she started to notice a connection between her fear of losing money and her fear of losing relationships.

在我们继续谈论她的财务状况时,她开始注意到她对失去金钱的恐惧和对失去人际关系的恐惧之间的联系。

She went on to tell me that she was afraid of committing to anyone because she didn't want to get hurt.

她继续告诉我,她害怕向任何人做出承诺,因为她不想受到伤害。

She expressed that she had not been close to anyone in over seven years because she feared failure.

她表示,她已经七年多没有和任何人亲近过了,就因为害怕失败。

And maybe she might have an avoidance strategy around both her money and her relationships.

也许她对金钱和感情都选择了规避策略。

It's been six years since I first help her chart her finances, and she's still consistently keeping up with her spreadsheet.

从我第一次帮她做财务报表到现在已经六年了,她仍然在不断地更新她的电子表格。

As she confronted her personal accounting and grew her savings in advance of each tax season, she developed less fear of loss and grew more open to relationships.

当她直面自己的个人账目,并在每个纳税季前增加储蓄时,她变得不再那么害怕损失,对人际关系也更加开放了。

She tells me that she even has the courage to walk away from a relationship when it's not serving her.

她告诉我,当一段关系对她无益时,她甚至有勇气选择离开。

She recently told me, "My spreadsheet is basically a story of my life's progression and I can see it through the numbers.”

最近她告诉我,“我的电子表格基本上反映了我的人生进程,通过这些数字我能看到我的人生轨迹。”

I believe we can all do this type of audit of our own financial behavior and that we can learn surprising things about ourselves through tracking and charting our expenses.

我相信我们都可以对自己的财务行为进行类似的审计,我们可以通过跟踪和记录我们的支出来了解自己。

Here's how. Number one, take a look at your bank statement for the last six months and categorize the expenses by type for a more holistic view.

这就是原因。 第一,看一看你最近六个月的银行对账单,把支出按类型分类,以获得一个更全面的视角。

For example, your spending on shopping versus transport versus entertainment.

例如,你在购物、交通和娱乐上的花费。

Number two, when an expensive pattern emerges, see what that pattern says about yourself.

第二,如果你买了很昂贵的东西,看看这个东西反映了你本人的哪些信息。

Be curious and inquisitive.

保持好奇心和好学心。

At first, it may not be that obvious, but asking yourself what led you to make that choice in a given moment can provide some clues.

一开始,这可能不太明显,但问问自己是什么让你在特定时刻做出这样的选择,这可以提供一些线索。

Do you buy pizza every Wednesday night because that's when you're too tired to cook after a stressful weekly meeting?

你是否每周三晚上都会买披萨,因为那时候刚开完紧张的周会,你太累了不想做饭?

Number three, observe if there are any line items that you are shocked by in terms of value or volume and see what patterns emerge.

第三,观察是否有任何一行的商品在价值或数量上让你感到震惊,看看是什么东西。

For example, did you buy that new smartphone just before a major function or event so that your friends would notice?

例如,你是否为了某个重要的功能或活动而购买新的智能手机,只为引起朋友的注意?

Or do you tell yourself you only take taxis late at night, but then realize that you're taking way more taxis every month than you thought?

或者你告诉自己,你只有深夜才会打出租车,但发现你每个月打车的次数比想象的要多得多?

Are you working late more than you thought?

你工作到比自己以为的晚很多吗?

There's so much that we can learn about ourselves if we take the time to look.

如果我们花时间去看,就可以了解到自己的很多信息。

And sometimes our money knows us better than we know ourselves.

有时我们的钱比我们更了解自己。

Tracking our finances can reveal what we are in denial of, our hidden biases, our fears and what might be holding us back.

追踪财务状况可以揭示我们在否认什么、我们隐藏的偏见、我们的恐惧,以及阻碍我们前进的可能是什么。

Though it can be difficult and uncomfortable to take a good, hard look at our financial behavior, it can reveal some deep emotional truths.

虽然仔细审视我们的财务行为又难又不舒服,但它可以揭示一些深层次的情绪真相。

Some truths that can help us re-evaluate our careers, our relationships and our priorities.

这些真相可以帮助我们重新评估我们的职业、我们的关系和优先事项。

So give it a try. The payoff could be huge. Thank you.

所以试一试吧。回报可能超乎想象。 谢谢!

重点单词   查看全部解释    
ownership ['əunəʃip]

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n. 所有权

 
emotional [i'məuʃənl]

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adj. 感情的,情绪的

 
budget ['bʌdʒit]

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n. 预算
vt. 编预算,为 ... 做预算

 
reveal [ri'vi:l]

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vt. 显示,透露
n. (外墙与门或窗之间的

 
pattern ['pætən]

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n. 图案,式样,典范,模式,型
v. 以图案

 
denial [di'naiəl]

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n. 否认,拒绝

 
understand [.ʌndə'stænd]

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vt. 理解,懂,听说,获悉,将 ... 理解为,认为<

 
minimal ['minəməl]

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adj. 最低限度的,最小的

联想记忆
audit ['ɔ:dit]

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n. 审计,查帐
vt. 审计,旁听

 
statement ['steitmənt]

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n. 声明,陈述

联想记忆

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