评论
打印
Different ways of speaking are part of gender. As adults, men and women sometimes face difficulties in their communication with each other. Studies of communication show that if a woman tells her husband about a problem, she will expect him to listen and offer sympathy. She may be annoyed when he simply tells her how to solve the problem. Similarly, a husband may be annoyed when his wife wants to stop and ask a stranger for directions to a park or restaurant. Unlike his wife, he would rather use a map and find his way by himself.
不同的说话方式是社会性别差异的表现之一。作为成年人，男人和女人有时还会陷人彼此间无法交流的困境。人际交流方面的研究表明，如果一位女人向丈夫诉说某个问题时，她希望对方倾听并给予同情。丈夫如果直截了当地提出解决问题的方法，妻子可能会很生气。同样，妻子停下来向陌生人询问去公园或饭店的路时，丈夫也会感到不快。他宁愿自己用地图确定方向，也不会像妻子那样问路。
Language is also part of the different ways that men and women think about friendship. Most North American men believe that friendship means doing things together such as camping or playing tennis. Talking is not an important part of friendship for most of them. American women, on the other hand, usually identify their best friend as someone with whom they talk frequently. Tannen believes that for women, talking with friends and agreeing with them is very important. Tannen has found that women, in contrast to men, often use tag questions. For example, a woman might say, "This is a great restaurant, isn't it?" By adding a tag question to her speech ("isn't it?"), she is giving other people a chance to agree with her. Likewise, many women use more polite forms ― "Can you close the door?" "Could you help me?" "Would you come here?" Men, however, often speak more directly, giving direct commands ― "Close the door." "Help me." "Come here."
语言使用上的差异还体现在男性和女性对友谊的看法上。大多数北美男性认为友谊就是合作共事，比如一起野营或者打网球。他们大多都认为聊天并不是友谊的重要组成部分。而美国女性却往往把经常在一起聊天的人视为最好的朋友。坦嫩认为，对女性而言，跟朋友聊天并获得共鸣是非常重要的。坦嫩还发现，女性经常使用附加疑问句，这一点与男性截然不同。比如，女性可能说：“这家餐馆很棒，对吧？”通过一个附加疑问句（“对吧？”），以获得别人的认可。同样，很多女性使用更为礼貌的句式——“你能关上门吗？”，“你能帮助我吗？”，“你能来这里吗？”然而，男性的语气通常更为直接，带有命令的口气——“关上门。”，“帮帮我。”，“到这里来。”
These differences seem to be part of growing up in the culture of the United States and following its rules of gender. If men and women can understand that many of their differences are cultural, not personal, they may be able to improve their relationships. They may begin to understand that because of gender differences in language, there is more than one way to communicate.
这些差异似乎是在伴随着人们在美国文化中的成长，也是遵循其性别规则的结果。许多性别差异是由文化造成的，而非个人的原因所致。如果男性与女性都清楚这一点，两性之间的关系可能会得到改善。他们会逐渐明白，正是由于在语言层面存在性别差异，两性之间交流的方式自然不止一种。
