Chandler: Well I was exactly expecting company after 9:15.

Monica: Is Joey here?

Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the bride's maid and a bucket of strawberries. So you're not still upset about what that guy told you are you?

Monica: Wouldn't you be?

Chandler: Well, look it's been a really emotional time you know, and you've had a lot to drink. And you've just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!

Monica: Really?

Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms… Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?

Monica: Well, not anymore.

Chandler: But we don't do that.

Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.

Chandler: How drunk are you?

Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.

Chandler: That's the perfect amount!

Monica: You know what's weird?

Chandler: What?

Monica: This doesn't feel weird!

Chandler: I know.

Monica: You're a really good kisser.

Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. Do you wanna get under the covers?

Monica: Do I.

Monica: Wow! You are really fast!

Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.

Monica: We're gonna see each other naked.

Chandler: Yep!

Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?

Chandler: Count of three?

Monica and Chandler: One, two, three.

Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.

Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway.

Chandler: Joey, Joey, Joey!

Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie.

Joey: Oh, dude I'm so sorry!

Chandler: No! No! No!

Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! It's cool! It's cool! I'll only be a second, I'm still with my bride's maid, I just…Where are those condoms you brought?

Chandler: They're in my bag over there.

Chandler: Could you leave me one?

Joey: For just you?

Chandler: Yeah.

Joey: All right, here you go buddy. Go nuts.

Joey: That's what that was? !

Joey: Oh Can you imagine if I hadn't left you that last one? You two might've never gotten together. Oh oh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna? ! It's like it was in the stars!

Phoebe: Yeah, it's totally meant to be. Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.

Monica: What? !

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: What? !

Chandler: Who did you originally want to hook up with?

Monica: Okay, fine, but please don't be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey.

Joey: Yeah baby! No baby!

Chandler: Oh, my God. You came to the room looking for Joey? Were you planning on telling me this?

Monica: No because it didn't seem important.

Chandler: It's not important? It's not important? ! If it wasn't for a bride's maid you'd be marrying him not me!

Monica: No! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night? !

Joey: Hey! Now I'm a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!

Chandler: Look there is no way you're doing this wedding now. Okay?

Joey: What? ! That's not fair! It's not my fault! I was off with my bride's maid! And who's to say I would've even said yes? ! I mean I would've said yes.

Joey: Chandler look you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!

Chandler: Okay, it's just weird! Okay? I don't want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I need…I don't know what I need. I need a walk.

Monica: Wait Chandler come on, let's…it's not a big deal!

Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin.

Joey: This is crazy.

Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!

Rachel: So now what have we agreed?

Ben: No more pranks.

Rachel: And what else?

Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.

Rachel: Very good.

Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?

Rachel: I'm just visiting my good friend Carol.

Ross: Your good friend?

Rachel: Yeah!

Ross: What's her last name?

Rachel: Carol·Lesbian?

Ross: Nice.

Ross: By the way, that line down my face. The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say: "Dude, don't you ever wash your face?"

Rachel: All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

Ross: Listen, I don't want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?

Rachel: Fine. Fine, but I'll have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel.

Ross: I'm glad you guys were bonding but I…

Rachel: Look he doesn't have any brothers or sisters, somebody's gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I haven't taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesn't know anyway!

Ben: Crap!

Rachel: I gotta go!

Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!

Joey: Come on nothing even happened! I just…I don't want you to be upset.

Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!

Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night!

Joey: Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! we look at you and we see you together and it just it fits. You know? And you just know it's gonna last forever.

Chandler: That's what you should say.

Joey: What?

Chandler: When you're marrying us, that's what you should say.

Joey: Really? I can do it?

Chandler: I'd love it if you would do it.

Chandler: But those are the words! Those exact words!

Joey: But I don't know remember exactly but, It's pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.

Joey: So are guys doing okay?

Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.

Monica: Yeah baby!

Phoebe: I'm really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if you two actually had hooked up.

Monica: Honey! Dinner's ready!

Fat Joey: What's my little chef got for me tonight?

Monica: Your favorite!

Joey: Ho-ho-ho, fried stuff with cheese!

Monica: Yep! And lot's of it!

Fat Joey: Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here.

Monica: In we go.

Fat Joey: How you doing?

Ross: Hey I'm sorry to do this to you again, but is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I've got this meeting at school. And he asked for his, 'Fun Aunt' Rachel, so…

Rachel: Oh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, don't we Ben?

Ross: Okay, I'll see you later pal.

Rachel: Oh, okay. Wait a minute. Ben, I can't do it.

Ross: What?

Rachel: You've got something here on your back.

Ross: What? That's great. That is great. What did we just finish talking about Ben? !

Ben: What did we just finish talking about Ben? !

Ross: All right, that's it! Come! you! no! You are in big trouble young man!

Ross: Ben, come here! I am not kidding!

Rachel: You gotta stop doing…My God!