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All right, now, this is something I know many people been looking forward to all year,
好了，现在是很多人全年都在期待的活动，
the results of our annual beloved tradition, the Halloween Candy youtube Challenge.
我们年度最热爱的传统出来结果了：万圣节糖果youtube挑战。
This is the ninth time we've done it.
今年是第九次举办这个活动。
I'm told that many of the disappointed kids from the first time we did it in 2011
我听说我们2011年首次举办该活动时，当年那些失望的小孩
have now blossomed to become fully grown disappointed adults.
现在已经长大成为完全失望的成年人了。
And I want to say something to those out there who think I do this
我想对一些人说几句，这些人认为，我做这个活动，
because I enjoy being mean to kids, that is not, I love kids.
是因为我喜欢捉弄小孩，不是这样的，我喜欢小孩。
Not only do I love kids, I have written and illustrated a children's book called The Serious Goose.
我不仅喜欢小孩，我还为小孩子们写了一本书，配上了插图，书名是《严肃的鹅》。
Now, this is not a joke, it comes out December 3rd, it's available for preorder now,
这不是一个笑话，这本书将在12月3日上架，现在可以预订了。
and all the money I make from it goes to children's hospitals here in LA and around,
这本书的所有销售收入都将捐给洛杉矶及周边的儿童医院。
so please buy this, it looks like this, The Serious Goose.
所以请大家来买这本书吧，这本书是这个样子的，书名是《严肃的鹅》。
And remember that for the next five minutes as we endure the tears of disappointed children
接下来五分钟，我们会看到失望并哭泣的小孩，
in this year's edition of “Hey, Jimmy Kimmel, I told my kids I ate all their Halloween candy.”
下面是今年的“嘿，吉米，我告诉我的小孩，我吃了他所有的万圣节糖果”活动。
We ate all your Halloween candy.
我们吃了你所有的万圣节糖果。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
Is it ok?
没关系吧？
No! not at all!
我非常不高兴。
Guess what?
你看，
Guess what?
你看，
We were just joking.
我们只是开个玩笑。
这是我过的最糟糕的万圣节，就是因为你们这些傻瓜！
Mama was just too hungry.
妈妈只是太饿了。
I ate all your candy.
我吃了你所有的糖果。
I'm going to call the police.
我会报警的。
why? why?
为什么？为什么？
We hate you!
我们痛恨你！
We don't want to live with you anymore!
我们不想再和你住在一起了！
Oh! Oh! My God!
噢！噢！天哪！
Why you ate it again?
你为什么又偷吃我的糖果？
I ate it all.
我都吃了。
Why?
为什么？
I ate it all because I was hungry.
因为我饿了。
Ah!ah!ah!ah!ah!ah!
啊！啊！啊！啊！
I'm joking! I'm joking!
我是开玩笑的！我是开玩笑的！
What did you do with my candy right there?
你把我的糖果弄到哪里去了？
I don't even know what you're saying.
我甚至不知道你在说什么。
Mommy and daddy ate all of your Halloween candy, is that OK?
妈妈和爸爸吃了你所有的万圣节糖果，没关系吧？
We ate all of your candy, will you forgive me?
我们吃了你所有的糖果，你会原谅我吗？
Yes, but don't do it again. It'll make you very sick, and you will have to poop all that out.
可以，但不要再这么做了。你会生病的，你会都拉出来的。
I'm telling on you, really.
我警告你，真的！
It's not fair!
这不公平！
Julianna!
朱莉安娜！
That's so rude of you.
你这样太混蛋了。
Tomorrow, I'm going eat your stuff! For real!
我明天会吃你的东西！说到做到！
And I'm not getting you no goodies, just boppy.
我不会给你好东西。
That's so rude of you.
你这样太混蛋了。
But I was so hungry.
但是我太饿了。
Well, you got to eat some vegetables, not candy!
那你去吃些蔬菜啊，不要吃糖果！
Darn it!
讨厌！
Go! now! go!
滚！现在！滚！
Eat some vegetables!
去吃一些蔬菜！
See? You're making her sad, say sorry!
看到了吗？你让她感到伤心，跟她说对不起！
Last night, I got hungry and I ate all of your Halloween candy.
昨天晚上，我饿了，然后我吃了你所有的万圣节糖果。
Oh!
噢！
Agh!
啊！
You're happy that your candy is not gone?
你的糖果还在，你高兴吧？
A little bit, but I love you more than candy.
有一点，但比起糖果，我更爱你。
Oh.
噢。
Can I have my bucket?
可以把桶还给我吗？
You just want the empty bucket?
空桶也要吗？
Oh.
噢。
You don't eat people's candy!
你不能吃别人的糖果！
Ok, I'm really, really sorry.
是的，我非常非常抱歉。
You just made me mad, you made me really mad, mommy.
我要疯了，我真的要疯了，妈咪。
I said I'm sorry.
我说了对不起。
It's OK.
没关系。
Ok, well, thank you. I love you.
好的，谢谢，我爱你。
I love you, too.
我也爱你。
Ah!
啊！
Mackenzie, Jimmy Kimmel told me to do it.
麦肯奇，是吉米让我这么做的。
Ah!
啊！
No thank you.
谢谢。
Jimmy Kimmel told me to trick you.
吉米让我捉弄你。
Who's that?
他是谁？
It's Jimmy Pickle.
是吉米皮克。
Don't get mad at mom, it's just Jimmy Pickle, that's his fault.
不要怪妈妈，是吉米皮克，是他的错误。
If I ever seen Jim, Jimmy kimmel, I would punch him in the face.
如果我碰到吉米，我会对着他的脸给他一拳。
Why?
为什么？
He deserves it.
他罪有应得。
What if I do it again tonight?
如果我今晚再这么做会有什么情况？
I'm going to punch him in the wiener.
我会揍他的小鸡鸡。
Where is my candy, when I...
我的糖果在哪里？当我...
You have a mouth full of candy right now, and you're crying about more candy.
你现在满嘴都是糖，你还要更多的糖。
I'm going to...
我会...
Stop, wait, chew what's in your mouth. They don't understand you, and now what?
先等一下，嚼你嘴里的东西。他们听不懂你在说什么，现在怎么办？
I ate all of it. It's all gone.
我吃了所有的糖果，都没有了。
It's all gone, he ate it all.
都没有了，他全吃了。
How's it make you feel?
你感觉怎么样？
Fuck it!
操！
He said chocolate, chocolate, Ok? All right.
那小孩说的是巧克力，巧克力，对吧？
Well, sorry, kids, and thanks to all the parents who participated,
好了，小孩们，对不起，同时感谢所有参加这个活动的父母，
especially those who recorded their videos horizontally,
特别是那些在水平方向拍视频的父母，
we really appreciate it here on television.
在电视上看着真的不错。
