评论
打印
I would like to address something that I've been having to deal with for quite some time.
我想解决一个很长时间以来都不得不解决的事情，
This is an issue that I face on an almost daily basis,
我几乎每天都面临这个问题，
and this week I've had to deal with it even more, because we're in New York.
本周我更加需要应对这个问题，因为我们都在纽约。
People frequently confuse me with someone else, with another person who-- a person who isn't me.
人们常常把我和另一个人搞混，另一个人并不是我。
And so as a public service to me, and to the other person, I got in touch with him,
所以我和他联系上了，
and we made a video together that hopefully will clear this little headache up once and for all.
我们一起录了一个视频，希望可以一劳永逸地解决这个有点头疼的问题。
Hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel.
嗨，我是吉米·鸡毛。
And I'm Jimmy Fallon.
我是吉米·肥伦。
And some people think I'm Jimmy Kimmel.
有人认为我是吉米·鸡毛。
And some people think I'm Jimmy Fallon.
有人认为我是吉米·肥伦。
And it's causing a lot of problems for us at the airport.
我们因为太像而在机场引起大量问题。
So we decided to make a quick video to explain who's who and what's what.
所以我们决定做一个视频，把彼此区分开来。
And we understand why people get us confused.
我们理解为何人们把我们两人搞混。
The names.
我们的名字。
Mhm.
是的。
We both wear suits.
我们都穿西装。
We both have shows.
我们都主持节目。
We both have dark hair.
我们都有深色的头发。
We're both white guys, which is not as exciting as it used to be.
我们都是白人，这不像过去那样令人兴奋。
Definitely not.
的确这样。
But the truth is we're very different Jimmys in a lot of ways.
但事实上，从很多方面来看，我们都是两个不同的吉米。
For instance, I was born in Brooklyn, New York.
例如，我出生于纽约布鲁克林。
Oh, I was born in Brooklyn, too.
噢，我也出生于布鲁克林。
OK, so not a great example by me. But we're different.
所以，这不是一个好例子，但我们是不同的。
Like, what did Jimmy Fallon have for breakfast today?
例如，吉米·肥伦今天早餐吃了什么？
I had oatmeal with baby carrots on top.
我吃了燕麦片和小胡萝卜。
That's what I had. But that's a pretty common breakfast.
我也是吃的这些，可能因为这是相当常见的早餐。
Tell me.
告诉我。
OK, count of three, name your five favorite breakfast cereals. Ready?
好，数一二三，然后列出你最喜欢的五种早餐麦片，准备好了吗？
Sure.
当然。
Go.
开始。
Fruit Loops, Lucky Charms, Frosted Flakes, Count Chocula, Trix.
（五种早餐食品的牌子）
What the--
什么鬼...
Well, they're very popular breakfast cereals, so that doesn't really--
好吧，这些都是非常受欢迎的早餐食品，所以并不能...
Yeah.
是的。
Weird question.
奇怪的问题。
It's like-- like, pizza is everyone's favorite for lunch.
就像，例如，披萨是每个人都喜欢的午餐。
Well, it certainly is mine.
是的，的确是我喜欢的午餐。
Mine, too. I love pizza.
也是我喜欢的午餐。我非常喜欢披萨。
I'm wearing pizza underpants right now. Look at this.
我现在穿着披萨图案的内裤。看看这个。
Look. No way.
看，怎么这样。
Nipples.
无语。
Did you just say nipples?
你刚才说了无语吗？
Mhm.
是的。
Why would you say that?
你为什么说这个？
I don't know. I say it all the time.
我不知道，我一直说。
Me, too.
我也是。
Nipples.
无语。
你做过DNA测试吗？我刚去23andMe做了测试。
Yeah, I have, actually.
事实上，我也做了。
Oh！
噢！
Turns out I'm 100% that bitch.
结果是我和那个人一样。
Wow！
哇！
Uh-- high five on that.
击掌庆贺一下。
Sorry. I'm bad at high fiving.
对不起，我不擅长击掌庆贺。
I'm bad at high fiving, too.
我也不擅长这个。
I mean, yesterday I had tried to high five somebody and poked a lady in the eye.
我想说，我昨天和别人击掌庆贺时戳到了一个女人的眼睛。
Wait a minute. Was she about this tall? Russian lady?
等一下，她是不是这么高？一个俄罗斯女人？
Yes. I poked her other eye.
是的，我戳到了她的另一只眼睛。
Oh, my lord.
噢，天哪。
Oh-- hold on. I know how we're different.
噢，等一下。我知道我们怎么不同了。
Do you believe the earth is flat?
你认为地球是平的吗？
I know it's flat. I walk on it.
我知道地球是平的，我就走在地球上。
Holy shift stick on a 1982 Pontiac Grand Am.
天哪，说说1982年的庞蒂亚克Grand Am汽车吧。
That was your first car, too?
那也是你的第一辆汽车？
When I was a baby, I absorbed my twin brother in the womb.
当我是胎儿时，我在子宫里吸收了我的双胞胎兄弟。
So did I. His name was Larry.
我也是这样的，他的名字是拉里。
Ah-- mine was Lawrence.
啊！我的双胞胎兄弟是劳伦斯。
So--
所以...
Oh, my god. Who are you?
噢，天哪，你是谁？
I don't know.
我不知道。
Do you have any tattoos?
你有纹身吗？
One.
有一个。
We both have a tattoo of Tattoo?
我们都有一个相同的纹身？
Nipples.
无语了。
You know, I think I'm starting to understand why this is so hard for everybody.
我想，我开始明白为何每个人都难以判断我们两人。
We're, like, the same person. I mean, unless you like--
我们两个人，就像同一个人。我的意思是，除非你喜欢...
Matt Damon?
马特·达蒙？
Oh, no, he is the biggest loser--
噢，不，他是一个最大的失败者。
In the world.
在整个世界上。
Can I see you in the bathroom for a second?
我可以在浴室里看看你吗？
Yeah.
当然可以。
I want to show you something.
我想让你看看某个东西。
You have a small penis, too?
你的丁丁也很小吧？
Yeah.
是的。
I still can't tell us apart.
我仍然无法将我们两人区分开来。
Well, thanks to Jimmy Fallon, or me, or whichever one of us that was.
好了，谢谢吉米·肥伦，或者我，或者我们两人中的某个人。
