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Hello, Psych2Go viewers.
大家好，Psych2Go的观众们。
Here are five early warning signs you should never ignore in a relationship, by Michelle Rivas.
以下是米歇尔·里瓦斯认为在恋爱中千万不能忽视的五个预警信号。
The feeling of a new relationship can feel so exciting and passionate, even intoxicating, especially since there's always the potential that it can blossom into a profound and long-lasting bond.
一段新关系的感觉是如此令人兴奋和感到激情，甚至令人陶醉，尤其是因为它总是有可能发展成一段深刻和持久的关系。
However, it's always important to stay attuned to the behavioral patterns of our partners, because it can help us detect red flags early on.
然而，与伴侣的行为模式保持一致总是很重要的，因为这可以帮助我们及早发现危险信号。
Being observant of toxic behaviors from the start can prevent us from jumping into a serious commitment, and maybe even walk away from a situation that could be potentially dangerous, such as domestic violence or narcissistic abuse.
从一开始就观察有害的行为可以阻止我们投入到一个严肃的承诺中，甚至可能会远离可能有潜在危险的情况，如家庭暴力或自恋虐待。
So, here are five early warning signs you should never ignore in a relationship.
所以，这里有五个你在恋爱中绝对不能忽视的预警信号。
Number one, love bombing.
第一，爱情轰炸。
You just started dating someone and everything seems perfect.
你刚开始和某人约会，一切似乎都很完美。
They're attentive, generous, and make you feel like the most attractive person they've ever met.
他们体贴、慷慨，让你觉得他们自己是他们见过的最有魅力的人。
But do they come off a little too strong?
但他们看起来是不是有点太强烈了？
Are they calling or texting you excessively throughout the day?
他们是不是整天都在给你打电话或发短信？
Do they profess their love for you only after a few days or weeks of dating?
他们会在约会几天或几周后才向你表白吗？
This is a red flag early on in a relationship that should not be ignored.
这是一段关系的早期危险信号，不应被忽视。
For those unfamiliar with the term love bombing, this refers to a form of emotional manipulation that consists of a person moving too quickly at the beginning stages of a relationship, and showering the other person with praise and affection.
对于那些不熟悉爱情轰炸一词的人来说，这指的是一种情绪操纵，包括一个人在一段关系的开始阶段行动太快，并对另一个人给予大量赞扬和爱意。
To be clear, romantic gestures and affection are completely normal aspects of dating, but it can also be a sign of something sinister if done excessively right from the start.
需要明确的是，浪漫的姿势和爱意完全是约会的正常方面，但如果从一开始就做得太好，这也可能是某种邪恶的迹象。
Number two, subtle coercion.
第二，微妙的胁迫。
Controlling behavior and coercive control are obvious signs of domestic violence and/or abusive behavior.
控制行为和强制控制是家庭暴力和/或虐待行为的明显迹象。
But the way in which they show up at the beginning of a relationship are usually very subtle and gradual.
但他们在一段关系开始时出现的方式通常是非常微妙和渐进的。
According to Emma Davey, narcissistic abuse expert and counselor, abusers like to be in control all the time, and they do this by tracking their partner's activity.
根据自恋型虐待专家兼心理咨询师艾玛·戴维的说法，施虐者喜欢一直处于控制之下，他们通过跟踪伴侣的活动来做到这一点。
They will monitor where you're going, who you're going with, for how long, your social media activity, and who you're talking to on the phone.
他们将监控你要去哪里，和谁一起去，持续多长时间，你的社交媒体活动，以及你在电话中与谁交谈。
At first, an abuser will apply many subtle coercive tactics, such as needing to know about your daily whereabouts, making suggestions about what you should wear, et cetera, and masking these demands as altruistic by claiming that they're concerned for your safety and wellbeing.
起初，施虐者会使用许多微妙的强制策略，比如需要知道你的日常行踪，建议你应该穿什么等等，并通过声称这些要求关心你的安全和福祉来掩盖这些要求是无私的。
If you notice that your new partner requires that you inform them of everywhere you go, and feels the need to accompany you everywhere, then this could be a warning sign.
如果你注意到你的新伴侣要求你告诉他们你去的任何地方，并且觉得有必要陪你去任何地方，那么这可能是一个警告信号。
Number three, hypersensitivity.
第三，过于敏感。
If you've been with your partner for a short period of time and you've noticed that they're easily triggered by innocuous comments or harmless jokes, then this could be a sign of hypersensitivity, which is a common trait amongst most abusers.
如果你和你的伴侣在一起的时间很短，你注意到他们很容易被无伤大雅的评论或无伤大雅的笑话惹到，那么这可能是敏感的迹象，这是大多数施虐者的共同特征。
It's also common for these individuals to take unrelated or harmless comments as personal attacks, and twist the narrative, such as claiming that you're trying to disrespect them when you're merely just disagreeing with them and expressing your own opinion.
对于这些人来说，将无关或无害的言论视为人身攻击，并扭曲叙事是很常见的，比如声称你试图不尊重他们，而你只是不同意他们的观点，表达自己的观点。
Number four, they dislike your friends or family.
第四，他们不喜欢你的朋友或家人。
Does your new partner express disapproval every time you go out with your closest friends or family members?
每次你和最亲密的朋友或家人外出时，你的新伴侣都会表示反对吗？
They might make you feel guilty for spending time with those closest to you, and try to convince you that they're bad influences.
他们可能会让你因为花时间和你最亲近的人在一起而感到内疚，并试图让你相信他们是坏影响。
Or, say that you're too good for them.
或者，说你配不上他们。
This is a subtle tactic that abusers use to slowly isolate you from your support system.
这是一种微妙的策略，施虐者用来慢慢地将你与你的支持系统隔离开来。
So, it's extremely important to be aware of this early on, and check for patterns of possessive behavior.
因此，及早意识到这一点，并检查占有行为的模式是极其重要的。
And number five, rushing into commitment.
第五，匆忙做出承诺。
If you just started dating someone and you can sense that they're trying to pressure you into a committed relationship, and rush into important milestones, such as meeting each other's families and moving in together, then this is a huge red flag that should not be ignored.
如果你刚开始和某人约会，你能感觉到他们试图迫使你建立一段稳定的关系，并匆忙进入重要的关系中，比如见对方的家人，一起住，那么这是一个不容忽视的巨大危险信号。
This is usually in tandem with love bombing, where the person will idealize their significant other and smother them with praise and attention.
这通常伴随着爱情轰炸，在这种情况下，人们会理想化他们的另一半，用赞扬和关注来扼杀他们。
Another sign of this is saying the words I love you after a very short period of time.
另一个迹象是在很短的时间后说出我爱你这几个字。
And pressuring you to do the same.
并迫使你也这么做。
If this sounds familiar to what you've been experiencing in your new relationship, you may need to proceed with caution.
如果你在新恋情中所经历的事情听起来很熟悉，你可能需要谨慎行事。
You have agency over your life, and you shouldn't feel obligated to commit to a relationship if you're not fully ready.
你对你的生活要有自主权，如果你还没有完全准备好，你不应该觉得有义务去承诺一段关系。
