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Hey Psych2goers, welcome back to another video.
嘿，Psych2goers，欢迎回来。
Have you ever heard of the term gaslighting or have you been gaslighted by someone?
你听说过“煤气灯操纵”这个词吗？或者你被别人“煤气灯操纵”过吗？
Simply put, gaslighting is a simple and often overlooked kind of psychological abuse.
简单来讲，“煤气灯操纵”是一种简单且经常被忽视的心理虐待行为。
It's a form of emotional manipulation meant to deceive you and make you doubt your own sanity and perception of reality.
它是一种情感操纵的形式，意在欺骗你，让你怀疑自己的理智和对现实的看法。
And because of its insidious nature, unfortunately, gaslighting can be difficult to spot, especially up close.
不幸的是，由于它的潜伏性，“煤气灯操纵”很难被发现，尤其当你身处其中时。
But you can better protect yourself against gaslighting by learning how it works and becoming familiar with how gaslighters operate.
不过你可以通过学习“煤气灯操纵”的工作原理、熟悉“煤气灯操纵”的操作方式来更好地保护自己。
With that said, here are seven common phrases gaslighters often use to manipulate others.
下面就是“煤气灯操纵”者经常用来操纵他人的七句常说的话。
Number one, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
第一句，“我不知道你在说什么。”
Have you ever confronted someone about something and they say, "What, what are you talking about?"
你有没有听过别人说这句话：“什么，我不知道你在说什么。”
You're speechless, taken aback.
然后你惊讶得无言以对。
You start to explain yourself, but they deny knowing anything so unrelentingly that you feel like you should just shake your head and brush it off instead.
你开始自己开导己，但他们会无情地否认自己知道任何事情，以至于你觉得自己只能摇摇头，把这段记忆抹掉。
"Oh, sorry, I must've just gotten confused," you'll say with a hesitant smile.
“哦，对不起，一定是我弄错了，”你会带着微笑不确定地说。
And just like that they've planted the seed of self-doubt that will make it easier and easier for them to gaslight you each time they do, all by simply denying what they've done and acting so sure of themselves that they've convinced you too.
自此你的心里就种下了自我怀疑的种子，导致你越来越容易被对方“煤气灯操纵”。他们就是在通过否认他们做过的事情并表现得非常自信来让你相信他的话是对的。
Number two, 'You're overreacting," or "You're being too sensitive or emotional."
第二局：“你反应过度了，”或者“你太敏感/太情绪化了。”
Has anyone ever told you that maybe you're just overreacting and not thinking clearly when you were upset with them,
当你生气的时候，有没有人说过你反应过度，脑子不清晰。
or that you need to lighten up or stop being so sensitive when you called them out for something they said or did to hurt you.
或者，当你因被别人伤害而对他们大喊大叫时，他们告诉你要放松，不要那么敏感。
Don't let those people get to you.
别让那些人影响到你。
Invalidating someone's feelings by treating them as if they're in the wrong is a manipulation tactic gaslighters often use to pin the blame on you instead of themselves.
通过把对方的感觉说成是错的以此来消除对方的感觉，这是“煤气灯操纵”者经常使用的一种操纵策略，他们会把责任推到你身上，而不是自己身上。
Number three, "You're imagining things," or "That's not what happened at all."
第三句：“你在胡思乱想，”或者“事情根本不是这样的。”
What makes gaslighting so dangerous and psychologically damaging is the fact that it can make us doubt our own memories and experiences, sometimes to the point where we don't know what to believe anymore.
“煤气灯操纵”之所以非常危险并容易对心理造成伤害，是因为它会让我们怀疑自己的记忆和经历，有时甚至到了我们不知道该相信什么的地步。
And it all starts with this deceptively simple phrase.
这一切都始于这句看似简单的话。
"You don't know what you're talking about." "Let me tell you what really happened."
“你不知道你在说什么” “我来告诉你到底发生了什么。”
People who talk down to you like this are most likely trying to gaslight you.
像这样居高临下地跟你说话的人很可能是想激怒你。
So be careful and always remember.
所以一定要小心，永远记住。
There's a difference between letting someone tell you their side of the story and letting them feed you lies.
“让别人向你讲述他们的故事”和“欺骗你”这两者之间是有区别的。
Number four, "You're not making any sense."
第四句：“你的话毫无道理。”
Whenever you argue with a gaslighter, it's hard to come out on top because they're always going to try and turn the tables on you.
当你和“煤气灯操纵”者争论的时候，你很难占据上风，因为他们总想着扭转局面。
"You know you sound crazy, right?" "Can you even hear yourself?"
“你知道你现在有多疯吗” “你自己都听到了吧”
That's a common form of manipulation, tearing someone down so they can be vulnerable enough to believe them and buy into their nonsense.
这是操纵的一种常见形式，诋毁对方，让对方脆弱到相信他们，相信他们的无稽之谈。
Gaslighters are experts at making you feel paranoid and crazy especially when they know that you're in the right and have no other way to gain the upper hand in an argument.
“煤气灯操纵”者很擅长让对方感觉自己偏执、疯狂，尤其是当他们知道你是对的，从而无法在争论时占上风的时候。
Number five, "Stop exaggerating the situation."
第五句：“不要再夸大事实了。”
Are you starting to notice a pattern in the phrases gaslighters often use to try and manipulate you?
你有没有注意到，“煤气灯操纵”者在操纵别人的时候有一种模式。
They usually start with the word you, as in you're the one who's always in the wrong, you're the one who's mistaken, and you're the one causing the problem, not them, never them.
他们说话通常以“你”这个词开头，比如，你才是那个总是犯错的人，你才是错的，你才是问题的始作俑者，不是别人，从来都不是别人。
Why?
为什么？
Because gas lighters will do everything they can to convince you that you're wrong.
因为“煤气灯操纵”者会想尽一切办法让你相信自己是错的。
And they'll often do this by tricking you into thinking that you're imagining all these problems, just being paranoid, and that your concerns are all exaggerated or unfounded.
他们通常会通过欺骗你，让你认为所有这些问题都是你想象出来的，只是你多疑，你的担忧都是夸大的或者没有依据的。
Number six, "If anything, I'm the one who should be mad at you."
第六句：“如果说生气，我才是那个该生气的人。”
Remember how we said gaslighters love to flip the situation onto you.
我们说过，“煤气灯操纵”者喜欢把事情推到别人身上。
Well, this is a simple example of that.
下面是一个简单的例子。
They'll often act as if by calling them out and making them take responsibility for their actions you're the one hurting them.
他们会经常表现得好像在责备他们，让他们为自己的行为负责，你才是伤害他们的人。
"Why are you mad?" they might ask.
“你生什么气？”他们可能会问。
They may say things like "I'm the one being wrongfully accused, even though I did nothing wrong. I'm the victim here, not you."
他们可能会说：“我才是被冤枉的那个人，我没有做错什么。我是受害者，不是你。”
See what we mean?
明白我的意思了吗？
They're deflecting responsibility by manipulating your perception of the situation and rewriting the narrative.
他们会通过操纵你对某种情况的看法和重新编写剧情来转移责任。
And number seven, "Don't listen to anything they tell you. You can't trust anyone but me."
第七句：“不要听别人说的任何话。除了我，你不能相信任何人。”
Yikes, out of all the words and phrases gaslighters tend to use when manipulating us, this might be the worst one of all.
哎呀，在“煤气灯操纵”者操纵我们时所说的话里，这个可能是最糟糕的一个。
"Why would you listen to them?" or "You believe them over me?" are just a couple of phrases a gaslighter will use to try to alienate you from anyone who sees there's something wrong and wants to help you.
“你怎么听别人的？”或者“你相信别人但不相信我？”这些话都是“煤气灯操纵”者会用的，他们会试图让你疏远那些看到你有问题并想要帮助你的人。
They want you to think that there isn't anyone else that you can trust but them when the awful truth is that they're the ones you should have never trusted in the first place.
他们想让你觉得除了他们你再也不能相信任何人了，但有这样一个可怕的事实：他们才是你一开始就不该相信的人。
Have you heard any of these statements or been gaslit by someone?
你有没有听过这些话，有没有被别人“煤气灯操纵”过？
Although a lot of people are still unfortunately unaware of what gaslighting is or how dangerous it can be, it's important that we take the steps to educate ourselves enough to be able to recognize it.
尽管很不幸，现在有很多人还不知道什么是“煤气灯操纵”，也不知道它有多危险，但重要的是我们要采取措施，让自己能够认识到“煤气灯操纵”。
