The next day, Harlan called Nevin to thank him for coming to the wedding. “By the way, how was your steak?” he asked. “Ernie told me his steak was tough, and so did several others.”

“Mine was tough,” Nevin said. “It looked and smelled good, but it was tough. I needed a steak knife, because my butter knife wasn’t working out. But they didn’t have any steak knives on the table. I guess that’s part of our war against terrorists. So, I ate about a fourth of it, and left the rest on the plate. Janelle's was a little tough, too. She switched it for salmon.”

Nevin went on. “Also, as you probably know, the only urinal was busted. It had an out of order sign on it. One of the two soap dispensers in the men’s room was completely empty of soap. On the plus side, the wait staff served the food without coughing on it or getting their fingers all over the plates or glasses. And they always said sir, ma’am, please, thank you, and you’re welcome. And, perhaps most important to me, I never had to ask to have my coffee cup refilled.”

Harlan asked Nevin to write a letter to the Cowfish about how tough his steak was, and about the other negatives he had just mentioned.

Nevin asked how much Harlan was hoping to get refunded. “Well, I think they’re going to get four or five complaint letters. If they don’t refund me at least $2,000, I'll tell them that I’m going to hire a lawyer.”

“Well, I hope the rest of the evening went better than the dinner,” Nevin said.

“Oh, yes,” said Harlan. “I was online all last night and found a great deal on a cruise to Panama. We’ll save 50 percent if we go during the rainy season and if we take the cabin nearest to the engine room, so I signed us up.”