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Server: Hi. Welcome to Joe's Hamburger Restaurant. [Hi] Home of the one-pound super deluxe hot and spicy cheeseburger. Will this be for here or to go?
Customer: Uh, to go.
Server: Okay. What would you like today? Would you like to try the one-pound super hot and spicy cheeseburger?
Customer: Uh. I don't think so. I'd probably have heartburn for a week after downing that monster.
Server: Well. It's our house special this week, and it comes with fries, and a large specialty drink called "Everything-but-the-kitchen-sink."
Customer: A what? "Everything-but-the-kitchen-sink"? What in the world is that?
Server: Well, it's a little mix of everything in a large cup: Pepsi, Sprite, Fanta Orange, and lemonade with crushed ice and a scoop of ice cream.
Customer: Ah, that sounds disgusting.
Server: Hey, it'll grow on you.
Customer: Nay, I think I'll just order a hamburger with some mustard and lettuce and a glass of water.
Server: Boring. Hey. Would you care for anything else like a side order of amazing cheesy onion rings?
Customer: No thank you. Onion rings usually don't agree with me.
Server: Hmm. Okay. Your total comes to ten ninety ($10.90).
Customer: Ten ninety? For just a hamburger?! You've got to be kidding
Server: Well, the one-pound super deluxe hamburger is nine dollars.
Customer: Hey, I didn't order a one-pound burger. I just wanted a simple burger. That's all.
Server: Well, sir. Joe's Hamburger Restaurant only serves one-pound burgers. [Man!] The one-pound super hot and spicy, the one-pound barbecue burger, the one-pound bacon cheese burger, the one-pound . . .
Customer: No, no. Those are all huge.
Server: Well, sir. If you really want something smaller [Yeah], you should order from the kids' menu: Thehalf-pound super hot and spicy burger, the half-pound barbecue burger, the half-pound bacon cheese burger,the half-pound . . .
Customer: No. Those are still giant burgers.
Server: Well, in these parts, we are hearty eaters.
Customer: Okay, but you said my total was ten ninety, but the burger only comes to ten bucks. What about the other ninety cents?
Server: Well, sir. We only serve natural spring water from yonder hills, and . . .
Customer: Okay, okay. I'll take the giant burger and a bottle of your spring water. The sandwich should feed me for a week.
