评论
打印
The idea that we might - as the expression has it - ‘lose touch with our feelings’ is, when we reflect on it, a highly paradoxical one.
当我们沉思时，我们可能会--正如这句话所说--与我们的感觉失去联系，这是一个非常矛盾的想法。
How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us?
我们怎么会与属于我们的感觉失去联系呢？
Where might they go?
感觉可能会去哪里？
And what might be driving their loss?
可能是什么原因导致了感觉的缺失？
It seems we’re built in such a way that an understanding of much of what our minds and bodies go through is in no way automatic;
似乎我们生来就具有这样一种特质，即对我们的思想和身体所经历的大部分事情的理解绝不是自然而然的;
it is mediated via the acceptance and understanding of other people.
而是通过他人的接受和理解来调节的。
We know well enough about some things: if, for example, there were to be a gaping wound in our leg, or we hadn’t drunk anything for three days, we would know the truth soon enough.
我们对一些事情非常了解：例如，如果我们的腿上有一个裂开的伤口，或者我们三天没有喝任何东西，我们很快就会知道真相。
But many of our sensations are like bells that have no solid wire back to consciousness;
但我们的许多感觉就像钟，没有坚实的电线可以连接回意识;
they ring at a peculiar frequency that isn’t picked up by our minds when these have been attuned incorrectly.
钟以一种特殊的频率敲响，当它们的音调不准时，我们的大脑会无法接收到这种频率。
This may, for example, happen around tiredness.
这可能发生在疲劳的时候。
Our body may have grown extremely weary over many years but consciousness might simply not be interested, because it’s been calibrated to respond only to an agenda which sets store by the fast-paced pursuit of status and money.
多年来，我们的身体可能已经变得极度疲惫，但意识可能根本对此就不感兴趣，因为它被调整为只对以对地位和金钱的快速追求为重点的议程作出反应。
Or we might feel hugely anxious or in a rage with someone but consciousness, might not care because we have been ordered to be confident or extremely ‘good’.
或者，我们可能会对某人感到极度焦虑或愤怒，但意识可能并不在意，因为我们被命令要自信或‘优秀’。
Or there might be a profound sadness inside us, but the feeling might not earn our attention, because we’re meant to be privileged people with nothing to complain about.
或者，我们内心可能有一种深深的悲伤，但这种感觉可能不会引起我们的注意，因为我们注定是没有什么可抱怨的特权人士。
Why do we overlook our feelings like this?
为什么我们会这样忽视自己的感受呢？
Because we generally only notice those feelings to which other people, especially people in our childhoods, pay attention to - and conversely ignore those which they sideline or belittle.
因为我们通常只注意到其他人的感觉，特别是我们童年时代的人注意到的那些感觉--相反，我们忽视了那些他们忽视或轻视的感觉。
If no one especially cares that we are worried, if the grounds for our anger would be refused immediately, if there’s a dominant assumption that tiredness is for wimps, then we’ll follow suit and disdain bits of ourselves as much as others have done.
如果没有人特别关心我们的忧虑，如果有人拒绝了我们愤怒的理由，如果有一个占主导地位的假设认为疲劳是懦夫的行为，那么我们就会效仿，像其他人一样鄙视自己。
Knowing how to care for ourselves depends on having been cared for by others; we listen to ourselves because people around us have listened to us.
知道如何照顾自己依赖于别人的关心；我们倾听自己的声音，因为我们周围的人也在听我们的。
Reconnecting with our lost feelings therefore relies on a new, expanded sense of what it might be legitimate to experience.
因此，重新联系我们失去的感觉依赖于一种新的、扩展的感觉，即它可能是合法的体验。
We have to be given permission to give our attention to as much of the sorrow, anxiety, anger or tiredness as may really be locked inside us.
我们必须得到许可，才能尽可能多地关注那些真正锁在我们内心的悲伤、焦虑、愤怒或疲倦。
Put another way, we have to be loved properly, and so allowed to register whatever we are actually going through without being belittled, stonewalled or humiliated.
换句话说，我们必须被好好地爱护，那么允许我们记录下我们正在经历的任何事情，而非被轻视、阻碍或羞辱。
Love will allow us to enjoy what should always have been our basic privilege: to know what we feel.
爱将允许我们享受本应一直是我们基本特权的事情：去了解我们的感受。
