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文都名师:四级高分作文范文及点评

来源:文都教育 编辑:beck   可可英语APP下载 |  可可官方微信:ikekenet

说说今天的作文吧,典型的给定观点的文章,也可以说是问题解决型的文章。这样文章开头有一个背景引入:父母为孩子包办一切。观点很明确:这样做是有危害的,家长应该让孩子们独立!接下来就是该怎么做。但是提纲是只给了两点,需要我们写出三段这样段落安排就有一定的自我选择了:

我们可以这样来处理
第一段:背景和危害
第二段:解决
第三段:展望
这样第二段就是重点

还可以
第一段:背景
第二段:危害
第三段:解决和展望
这样第三段就是重点了。
这样的写法都可以以,前我们习惯了第一种写法我给同学们写一个第二种写法。

第一句引入论题
Recently the issue of how should parents help children to be independent has been in the limelight and has aroused wide concern in the public.
第二第三句背景介绍
The only child policy has brought a lot of pressure for both parents and children during the past decades. Quite a lot of parents have done almost everything for their children for the sake of love.
第一段结束:
Recently the issue of how should parents help children to be independent has been in the limelight and has aroused wide concern in the public. The only child policy has brought a lot of pressure for both parents and children during the past decades. Quite a lot of parents have done almost everything for their children for the sake of love.

第二段说后果:
It is difficult for these kids to develop and cultivate their character and to be independent with their parent’s so-called love.
再加一句:
They can not survive the future fierce competition owing to the lack of independence.
第二段结束:
It is difficult for these kids to develop and cultivate their character and to be independent with their parent’s so-called love. They can not survive the future fierce competition owing to the lack of independence.

第三段说如何做:
A number of solutions can be found for parents to help children to be independent, with the following ones being foremost. Firstly , parents should offer their children more opportunities to come into frequent contact with the society and form their own picture about this world. Secondly, playing and communicating with their peers should be favored by their parents because these activities can develop children’s interpersonal skills, which may put them in a favorable position in the future job markets. What’s more, financial burden, psychological burden and even moderate anxiety can make children more fortitude and mature when confronting the difficulties .

完整的文章可以是这样的:
Recently the issue of how should parents help children to be independent has been in the limelight and has aroused wide concern in the public. The only child policy has brought a lot of pressure for both parents and children during the past decades. Quite a lot of parents have done almost everything for their children for the sake of love.
It is difficult for these kids to develop and cultivate their character and to be independent with their parent’s so-called love. They can not survive the future fierce competition owing to the lack of independence.
A number of solutions can be found for parents to help children to be independent, with the following ones being foremost. Firstly , parents should offer their children more opportunities to come into frequent contact with the society and form their own picture about this world. Secondly, playing and communicating with their peers should be favored by their parents because these activities can develop children’s interpersonal skills, which may put them in a favorable position in the future job markets. What’s more, financial burden, psychological burden and even moderate anxiety can make children more fortitude and mature when confronting the difficulties . Only in this way can our future generation shoulder their responsibility.

关于字数:这个文章一共有209个字,肯定是超了。同学在实际的操作中可以去掉很多修饰的东西比如which may put them in a favorable position in the future job markets等等
总之,四级作文100以上就是我们的目标!
加油,四级战士们!

我的博客和QQ空间:
http://blog.sina.com.cn/wdhekaiwen
http://user.qzone.qq.com/576728297

文都名师何凯文

重点单词   查看全部解释    
independence [.indi'pendəns]

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n. 独立,自主,自立

 
fortitude ['fɔ:titju:d]

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n. 刚毅,坚毅,不屈不挠

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mature [mə'tjuə]

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adj. 成熟的,(保单)到期的,考虑周到的

 
survive [sə'vaiv]

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vt. 比 ... 活得长,幸免于难,艰难度过

联想记忆
shoulder ['ʃəuldə]

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n. 肩膀,肩部
v. 扛,肩负,承担,(用肩

 
independent [indi'pendənt]

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adj. 独立的,自主的,有主见的
n. 独立

联想记忆
favorable ['feivərəbl]

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adj. 有利的,赞许的,良好的,顺利的,偏袒的

 
psychological [.saikə'lɔdʒikəl]

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adj. 心理(学)的

 
frequent ['fri:kwənt]

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adj. 经常的,频繁的
vt. 常到,常去

 
cultivate ['kʌltiveit]

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vt. 培养,耕作,栽培,结交(朋友), 促进增长,教养

联想记忆

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