The importance of book
That we leave books is like the fish leaves water[1]. So[2] there's no denying that book is of significance in our life, being a part of us.
We all need books to shape our characters widen our horizon and make us more knowledgeable and skilled[3]. Furthermore, we can acquire happiness and relax from books[4]. From another perspective, we are in an age full of fierce competition. So[5] we have to equip our brain with all kinds of books to stand out from others and also make more contributions to society.
So[6] I hope, sincerely, that we can get along well with books, treating them as our good friends, loving them, valuing them.

修改意见：
[1] 此处应注意 like 是介词，如果后面接宾语从句要加 it 做形式宾语在加 that 从句，that 不能省略。That we leave books is like it that the fish leaves water. 这句话确实很别扭，而且不符合英语习惯，所以不建议使用。
建议改法：(1) Books are to people what water is to fish.
　(2) People without books are like fish without water.
另外，比喻时应注意喻体的选择。此处鱼没水就不能活，人没了水最多也就是精神空虚。
[2] 此句只有So引导的结果状语从句，而不见主句。 建议改法：在So前加上逗号，使之成为副词用法。
[3] shape our characters widen our horizon and make us more knowledgeable and skilled. 此处很明显是三个动词短语的并列，但中间少了逗号，导致句意发生偏离。建议改法：shape our characters, widen our horizon and make us more knowledgeable and skilled.
[4] we can acquire happiness and relax from books. 这里是 and 并列两个谓语，所以前后要注意对称。建议改法：We can acquire happiness and relax ourselves with books.
[5] 此处跟第二处是同样的错误，为了避免重复，建议换个句式。比如，用非限定性定语从句引起衔接就非常合适。建议改法：... fierce competition, which make it necessary for us to equip our brain with all kinds of books to stand out from others and also make more contributions to the society.
[6] 此处So是口语中的语气词，建议不要用于书面语。建议改法：去掉so

点评：18分，这是一篇本该在最高档次的文章，但 “开篇不利”及简单词 "so" 的反复不正确的使用影响了文章的整体美感，让它失去了本该属于它的位置。另外，论述的内容有些单薄乏力。稍微充实更佳。