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I work in an assembly line in a car factory.
我在一家汽车厂的流水线上工作。
Most days, I just assemble car parts.
大多数时候，我只是组装汽车配件。
Occasionally, they’ll ask me to assay an unknown drugs substance.
有时，他们会让我化验某种不明药物。
Once in a while, I’ll be asked to assist with breaking up a fight.
有时，我又去帮忙劝架。
Assault is not common here.
这里很少有人身攻击。
But now and then, a frustrated worker will assail his assistant by casting aspersions on some aspect of the other’s work.
不过，时不时会有一名灰心丧气的工人抨击他的助手，就其工作的某方面进行诽谤。
I’m considered an asset in my company.
我被视为公司的宝贝。
But before 20 years ago, I was a different kind of asset to an entirely different type of company.
但20年前，我被另一家完全不同的公司视为另一种类型的宝贝。
They called it “the company” but it was really a secret government group trained to assassinate political leaders.
他们所谓的“公司”实际上是一个受过训练、专门暗杀政界领导人的秘密政府组织。
I never aspired to be an assassin.
我从未渴望做个刺客。
In fact, I was an aspiring chemist and a regular soldier in the army.
事实上，我是个有抱负的化学家，又是部队中的一名常备兵。
All I really wanted was to do something great or important for my country.
我的全部思想就是成就大事、为国效力。
But sometimes, having too great an aspiration can lead you astray.
但有时，理想过于远大只会将你引入歧途。
I still recall the day of the assembly.
我仍记得那天的集会。
It was a small gathering of highly skills people like me.
那是个小集会，与会者都是些像我这样的技术精湛的人员。
“The company” was assessing our abilities in the areas of weaponry and chemistry.
当时“公司”评估我们在武器和化学领域的才能。
I was a top chemist and a natural marksman, probably the best in my group.
我既是最优秀的化学家，又是天生的神枪手，很可能是我们小组中最棒的。
They ascribed my success to my steady hands and sharp eyes, the same tools I used for chemistry.
他们将我的成功归于我稳健的双手和敏锐的眼睛，这也是我搞化学时用的工具。
After the assembly, they gave us our assignments.
会后，“公司”给我们下达了任务。
I was assigned to assimilate into the mainstream society of a Latin American country.
我的任务是渗透进入一个拉美国家的主流社会。
It wasn’t long before I was doing things that I will forever be ashamed to admit.
不久，我就开始做些我永远耻于承认的事情。
It’s been over for about 15 years.
这一切已经过去15年了。
But I’ll never feel clean and I’ll never be able to assert that I have been a good man all my life.
但我将永远感到自己的肮脏，永远无法斩钉截铁地说我做了一辈子的好人。
