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(Man) Fisher, pick up. Fisher, 菲莎,快接电话
it's me! Fisher, pick up! 是我啊,快接电话
I'm late, come on, come on. I need to bounce some ideas off you. 我要跟你谈谈我那个专栏
Mine are all boring, done it, been there. 老是旧调重弹,会闷……
Hey, Ike! 艾基
When are you guys gonna stop waking me up every morning? 可以不再每天清早把我吵醒吗?
When your column stops putting me to sleep. 你的专栏不再令我打瞌睡就可以
- Funny, funny. - Yo, Jonah! 你真会说笑
Fisher, come on! Are you really not there? 菲莎,你真的不在吗?
All right, cool. I'll talk to you later. 好,给我回电吧
Excuse me. I'm thinking of doing an article about limousines. 我想写一篇关于汽车的专栏
What do you think about people who've never been in one? 未坐过汽车的人会有什么感受?
I don't know people like that. 未坐过汽车的人我倒从未见过
I need someone to bounce some ideas off of and get the juices flowing. 我只是想听取一些意见
I got one hour, 27 minutes, 52 seconds. 1个钟头27分52秒就要交稿
- When your T-shirts stop shrinking. 等你卖的T恤不再缩水啦
Hey, Ike! When are you gonna put me in a column? 你几时才在专栏写我啊?
- (Woman) Shrinks? 缩水?
He's just kidding. -Oh, forget it. 他说笑而已
-Funny. He's kidding. 说得妙
- Here, give me $5. 来,五块钱吧
Give me $2. - (Woman) No way. 两块钱
Folks, I got nice shirts here. 各位,我的T恤很精美
"I love everybody. You're next." “我肯跟大家好,下一个轮到你”
Look! 看啊……
So what's in store for us in tomorrow's column? 你明天的专栏谈什么?
(Groans) I don't know yet. I'm, uh, kind of a last-minute man. 我还未知道 我要等到最后一分钟才行事的
You know, till an hour or two before deadline, I don't get any ideas. 截稿前一个小时我还未有题材
So you get your ideas for your column from life. 那你专栏的题材是来自生活片段
Start up a conversation with a woman in a bar. 例如在酒吧向女人搭讪
Attack her dart playing 批评她只会掷飞镖
and try to get a rise out of her... 在她沉思时故意触怒她
while you contemplate whether or not she's worth hitting on. 或者看看能否搭上她
No, I can't hit on you till I get an idea. 我未有题材前连你也不想搭上
Wh-- That's flattering. 你倒很口甜舌滑
(Ike) No, you don't understand. 不,你搞不清楚了
I understand. See, 我搞得很清楚
my not responding to you baiting me... 我不肯让你搭上我
will inspire one of those bitter diatribes you like to write about women. 会令你在专栏里大肆抨击女性
(Ike)I don't write bitter diatribes about women. 抨击女性的文章嘛
- Oh-ho. - Very often. 我是很少写的
I could. 其实我也懂得写
Only when the ideas aren't flowing, huh? 只是在思路不通畅时才抨击吧?
It's so nice to meet you, one-minute man. 一分钟先生,幸会了
It's last-minute man. 是最后一分钟,别混淆啊
Whatever. 随你怎样说吧
Want to hear something funny? For a good-looking guy, you strike out a lot.Have you noticed that? 你样貌一流,但泡妞九流
- I bet it's your ex-wife. - (Man) Excuse me. 一定是你前妻打来的
I've seen much worse. 更糟的我都见过
(Bartender) No, Ike's not here. 艾基不在这里
I say, I've seen much worse. 我刚说,更糟的我都见过
- I'll tell him when he comes in. - Excuse me? 你说什么?
The brush-off. 拂袖而去
I've witnessed far more... treacherous and nefarious exits than that. 我亲眼见过离开时更凶的样子
At least she castigated you in private. 至少她只是私下斥责你
Not as private as I thought. 连你都听到就不算私下斥责了
Kevin, you got some napkins there? 有纸巾吗?
- Wiping or writing? 用来抹嘴抑或写搞?
They love you. They hate you. 女人敢爱敢恨
- I'll let you know. 迟些才让你知吧
They're hot. They're cold. 女人忽冷忽热
They're high.They're up. 情绪有起有落
This is fun making a list with you, 说得真妙
They're down. 情绪有起有落
but I do have a column to write. 可是我还得赶写专栏
Ike. 艾基
But you have yet to find a really superb idea. 你总得找个妙绝人寰的题材才行
There's a girl from my hometown that you could write about. 可以写一写我家乡的一个少女
Excuse me, but we don't need any ideas. 我们不需要什么题材的
She likes to dump grooms at the altar. 她在教堂行婚礼的圣坛丢弃新郎
They call her the "Runaway Bride." 所以大家称她为“逃跑新娘”
She's performed the travesty seven or eight times. 她做这种怪事做七、八次了
