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A leader is steady, firm, decisive, unwavering. Never let 'em see you sweat, always have an answer.
领导人要沉着、坚定、果决、不动摇。千万不能让别人看见你冒冷汗，永远都要有答案。
My name is Dan, I'm a partner at a global creative consultancy.
我叫做丹，我是一间全球创意顾问咨询公司的合伙人。
But there's another side to me: Carrie Dragshaw, the character I created on Instagram.
但我还有另一面：卡丽·变装萧，我在Instagram上创造出来的角色。
As I thought about my double life, I couldn't help but wonder ...
想到我的双重身分时，我就无法不纳闷……
When your true self is a little nontraditional,
如果你的真实自我和传统有一点点不同，
how much of it can you really bring to the office? For some of us is authenticity off-limits?
你能把多少的真实自我带到办公室中？对某些人来说，真实性是禁区？
For the first 10 years of my career, I thought there was one way to be a leader: decisive and serious. But that's not me.
在我职业生涯的前十年，我以为要成为领导人只有一种方式：要果决且严肃。但我不是这样的人。
So I'd put on basically office drag to fit the role: I'd talk in a deeper voice, try to hold in my hand motions.
所以，我穿上了办公室变装，来配合这个角色：我会用比较低沉的声音说话，试着控制我的手部动作。
I'm someone who gets really excited about things, so I'd temper that.
我是那种会对事物很兴奋的人，我得要在这方面多克制。
I had this little voice in my head, telling me, "You're too gay, too feminine, too flamboyant."
我脑中有个小声音在跟我说：“你太同性恋了，太娘了，太浮夸了。”
I had one well-intentioned adviser who said,
我有一位顾问，出自善意这么说：
"Everyone knows you're gay. And that's great. But you don't need to beat them over the head with it."
“大家都知道你是同性恋。那很好。但你不需要一直向他们强调这一点。”
Cut to: me in a tutu, for Halloween 2016.
切换到：2016年万圣节，这是我穿着短裙。
I dressed up as my favorite TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw, thinking my friends would get a kick out of it.
我打扮成我最喜欢的电视节目角色卡丽·布莱德肖，心想我的朋友会很喜欢。
And then, things got crazy. The post went viral, and at first it was pure fun.
接着，一切失控了。这篇贴文被疯传，一开始只是单纯好玩。
I started getting these incredible messages from people about how happy it made them,
我开始收到大家传来的信息，棒极了，我让他们很高兴，
how it encouraged them to be their authentic selves.
鼓舞了他们，去做真实的自己。
And I started to think, maybe this is the time to tell that little voice in my head to just shut up and let myself be me.
我开始想，也许该是叫我脑中的小声音闭嘴的时候了，让我做自己吧。
But then things got a little too big.
但接着事情闹得有点大。
Carrie Dragshaw was everywhere -- In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" -- and I got terrified:
到处都是卡丽·变装萧--《纽约邮报》、《US周刊》--我吓坏了：
"What would my bosses think? Would my coworkers still respect me as a leader? What would my clients think?"
“我的老板们会怎么想？我的同事还会把我当领导人来尊重吗？我的客户会怎么想？”
I thought I was going to have to get a different job. But then, something happened, something small.
我以为我得要开始找新工作了。但接着发生了一件事，一件小事。
I got a text from my boss, it wasn't long, it just said, "Wow, Cosmo!"
我老板传了一则信息给我，信息不长，写着：“哇，上柯梦波丹了！”
With a link to an article that had just gone up about me.
并附上一个链接，链到一篇关于我的新文章。
And it let me put that little, scared voice away and just be excited about this whole new world, rather than freaked out.
这让我把那害怕的小声音收了起来，单纯地对这个全新的世界感到兴奋，而不是被吓坏。
That's the power of one person, sometimes all it takes is one ally to make you feel comfortable.
那就是一个人的力量，有时候，只要有一个盟友，就能让你感到舒服。
And my coworkers started acting differently.
我同事的行为开始改变。
They became more open, more playful with me, it was as if knowing this other side of me gave them permission to be more of themselves as well.
他们对我的方式变得比较开放，比较会开玩笑，好像知道了我的另一面之后，让他们也可以更去做自己。
I thought that openness and vulnerability would actually decrease my standing with my team. But it's done the opposite.
我以为开放和脆弱会降低我在我的团队中的地位。但结果却相反。
Two years in, I never could have imagined that this part of me would not just be embraced, but could actually help my career.
两年过去了，我当初怎么也料想不到，我的这个部分不仅会被拥抱，还对我的职业生涯有益。
Now, I'm lucky. I work in New York City, in an office where creativity is valued
我很幸运。我在纽约市工作，在我们的办公室里，大家很重视创意，
and I was already pretty established in my career when all of this started.
在这一切开始之前，我的职业生涯其实就已经有不错的基础。
Maybe that's you, maybe it isn't. But all of this has taught me so much about just the importance of bringing your whole self to work.
也许你也是这样，也许不是。但我从这一切学了好多，学到要把完整的自己带到工作上。
And it's really challenged my own misperceptions about what it takes to be successful.
这件事真的挑战了我的误解，我误解了成功需要的要素。
There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them.
并不是一定要用某种方式才能当领导。重点是找到你的长处，想办法放大这些长处。
Before, if a meeting was hard, I'd put on my perfect leader mask. Now, I can say, "Gosh, that was frustrating."
以前，遇到难搞的会议时，我会戴上我的完美领导面具。现在我能说：“老天，那真让人泄气。”
We can talk about challenges and struggles in an open way, rather than everybody pretending that they're fine until it's too late.
我们可以用开放的方式来讨论挑战与困难，不用每个人都假装自己没事，直到为时已晚。
Concealing an identity takes work. Think of all the wasted energy spent pretending, wishing you were someone different.
隐藏身分需要下功夫。想想我们浪费了多少精力在假装，在希望成为另一个人。
What's most interesting to me, though, is that in this big study of covering,
不过对我来说最有趣的是，在这项关于掩饰的研究中，
93 percent of those who say they're doing it also believe their organization values inclusion.
说自己有在掩饰的人当中有93%同时也相信他们的组织很重视包容。
So clearly, our workplaces and all of our strange inner voices have a long way to go on acceptance.
所以很显然，我们的工作场所和我们奇怪的内在声音还要走很长的路才能有所共识。
There's a big difference between adapting and disguising. And I think I learned that a little late.
适应和伪装有很大的不同。我想我太晚才学到这一课了。
Personally, I'm taking all of this as a call to be the ally who, like my boss did for me, lets people know that it's OK to open up.
我个人会把这一切当作是使命，教我也要扮演别人的盟友，就像我老板为我做的，让大家知道，我们可以开放做自己。
If you're gay, or proud of your ethnic background, or have a disability or are deeply religious,
如果你是同性恋，或为你的人种背景感到骄傲，或有身心障碍、有很深的宗教信仰，
see what it's like being your full self at work. You might be pleasantly surprised.
试试看把完整的自己带去工作会是怎样的状况。你可能会得到很棒的惊喜。
