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According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, we create 15 to 30 gallons of tears a year.
根据美国眼科医学会的说法，我们每年会产生出十五到三十加仑的眼泪。
I am what you would call a high-volume producer.
我就是所谓的大量生产者。
Now even though we do create less tears as we age, I figure by the time I'm 80, I will have filled up 40 average-sized bath tubs.
虽然随着年龄增长，我们产生的眼泪的确变少了，我认为，当我到了八十岁时，我的眼泪也能装满四十个一般大小的浴缸。
Now crying in my early years? Not something I would brag about.
我在早年时的哭泣？我可不会拿来夸口。
When I was five, I thought it was a good idea to practice writing my name on the side of the house.
五岁时，我以为在房屋墙上练习写自己的名字是个好主意。
Outside the house. Momma didn't agree with me much. She handed me a toothbrush and said, "Here, scrub." So I did.
房屋的外墙。老妈不太认同。她拿了牙刷给我，说：“拿去，好好刷。”我照做了。
I'd sit at the dining room table for what seemed like an eternity. I didn't want to eat my vegetables.
我在餐桌前坐了似乎无止尽的漫长时光，不想吃蔬菜。
You probably know the feeling. I'd miss all my favorite shows and cry like crazy.
你可能懂我的感觉。如果错过我最爱的节目，我就会狂哭起来。
Crying was always associated with something bad.
哭泣总是和不好的事情连结在一起。
Fortunately, I grew up. I stopped writing on the walls, started eating my vegetables, and I entered the wonderful world of motherhood.
幸运的是，我长大了。我不再在墙上写字，也吃蔬菜了，进入了美好的母亲世界。
And let me tell you, crying takes on a whole new meaning.
让我告诉你，哭泣有了全新的意义。
I was nine months pregnant and I was sitting on the couch,
怀胎九个月时，我坐在沙发上，
looking at the front door where my bags were packed, waiting for me, because I was hopeful that today would be the day.
看着前门，我的包包已经整理好放在门边等着，因为我希望今天就是生产日。
I settle in a little bit more, and I think to myself, "You know, we can put humans into space, but we can't seem to figure out when a baby will be born."
我让自己更舒适一点，我心想：“我们可以把人类送上太空，却似乎无法确定宝宝何时会出生。”
And then I feel this pressure build up in my chest, my throat get really tight, and I just burst into tears.
接着，我感到胸口越来越有压力，我的喉咙变得很紧，我就这样大哭出来。
And you know what? I had no idea why.
你知道吗？我完全不知道为什么哭。
And not knowing why at the time, well, that just got me more upset, so I eventually was just upset for being upset.
那时，不知道为何而哭反而让我更沮丧，最终，我单纯是因为沮丧而沮丧。
I took a deep breath -- and I let it out -- Thought that would help, but no, it didn't.
我深深吸了一口气，接着吐气，我以为那样会有帮助，但，不，没有用。
Then my brother walks in with his smirky grin and he says to me, "What's wrong with you?"
接着，我哥哥带着诡秘的笑容走进来，对我说：“你是怎么了？”
I said, "Nothing, just leave me alone." And he did, he ran as fast as he could.
我说：“没什么，别管我。”他真的就不管我了，全速离开。
And you know what I did when he left. I cried even harder. I was ashamed and embarrassed, just like when I was a kid.
你知道当他离开后我做了什么吗？我哭得更用力。我感到羞耻和不好意思，就像我小时候一样。
Now lucky for me, I only had to look at that bag sitting by the front door for another nine days, right before my expected date of delivery.
我好幸运，这种盯着门边包包的日子只再持续了九天，然后才到了预产期。
And finally, my body said it was time.
终于，我的身体说，时候到了。
And after 18 hours of feeling my body try to expel this little human that weighed about the size of a bowling ball,
有十八个小时的时间，我感受到我的身体在将这个和保龄球差不多大小的小小人类推出来，
and hours of pushing so hard that I thought for sure this baby was stuck, within a heartbeat, my beautiful baby girl Jennifer entered the world.
我用力挤了好几个小时，心想这个宝宝肯定是卡住了，突然间，我美丽的宝贝女儿珍妮弗进入了这个世界。
And I looked at her, and she cried and then I just cried.
我看着她，她哭了，接着，我也哭了。
All of that emotion and pressure that I had inside just seconds before was immediately replaced with the most joyous sense of relief that I had ever felt.
几秒之前我还能感受到内在的情绪和压力，立刻被我这辈子最喜悦的宽心感受取代了。
And after nine months of crying over these fears and anxieties and crazy out-of-control hormones,
经过九个月不断因为这些恐惧和焦虑还有大大失控的荷尔蒙而哭泣之后，
that was instantaneously transformed into the deepest, most heartfelt, happiest cry of my life. And I had no control.
我的哭泣马上转变成了我人生中最深刻、最揪心、最快乐的哭泣。且我无法控制。
Those really hard tears, those happy tears, those overwhelming joyful tears, they had nowhere to go but out.
那些真的很实在的眼泪，那些快乐的眼泪，那些让我无法招架的喜悦眼泪，它们无处可去，只能涌出眼眶。
And it was those tears, that moment, that incredible high, that inspired me to birth three more little miracles and start to help others have their own.
正是那些眼泪，那个时刻，那无法言喻的快感，鼓励我再将三个小小奇迹带到世上，并开始协助他人拥有自己的孩子。
I became a childbirth educator, and I started a whole new relationship with tears.
我变成了教导分娩的教育家，我也展开了和眼泪的全新关系。
It was early in my 30 years of teaching, I had a class touch my heart like no other.
在我三十年教育生涯的前期，有个班级独一无二地触动我心。
The topic for the night -- emotions of pregnancy, go figure.
当晚的主题--怀孕的情绪--居然有这种事。
And it was important for the class to first learn about the emotional changes and responses during pregnancy,
对这个班而言，重要的是要先了解在怀孕期间的情绪改变和反应，
and how when we cry, it can feel like the body's trying to push out that extra emotion, almost like it's processing what it can't hold inside.
及当我们哭泣时，感觉就像是身体在试图将那些额外的情绪推出去，几乎就像是身体在设法处理它内在容不下的东西。
Like an exhaust port for extreme feelings of sadness, joy or even relief after days, years of anticipation of that one magical moment.
就像是个排气孔，把那些悲伤、喜悦，甚至松一口气的极端感受，在期待那神奇的一刻数天、数年之后，通通释放出来。
It can literally feel like your body is squeezing out all that emotion in the form of water coming from our eyes. Our tears.
感觉真的就像是你的身体要把所有的情绪挤出来，挤出来的形式就是从眼睛流出的水。我们的眼泪。
Now tears were always expected during my classes. Not mine this time, the new moms'.
在我的班上，会有眼泪是意料之中。这次不是我的眼泪，是新手妈妈们的。
And this night in this class, it was way different.
那晚，在那个班上，状况大大不同。
I had just finished talking about the emotional changes of pregnancy and I went in to talk about the couvade syndrome.
我刚谈完怀孕期间的情绪改变，我接着开始谈拟娩症候群。
Now the word "couvade" comes from a French term, "couver," which means "to brood," similar to birds protecting a nest.
“拟娩”这个词来自法文的“couver”，意思是“庇护”，就像鸟类会保护鸟巢。
Well, who better to protect this nest than the expecting mother's partner?
有谁比待产妈妈的伴侣更适合来保护这个巢？
Also called a sympathetic pregnancy, the couvade syndrome is a real-life phenomenon,
拟娩症候群也叫感性妊娠，它是种确实会发生的现象，
where the non-pregnant partner can take on pregnancy characteristics like mood swings, loss of sleep, weight gain and for some,
没有怀孕的伴侣会出现怀孕的特征，比如心情摆荡、失眠、增重，
a really intense drive to do something new and unexpected, like buy a new sports car or start a new hobby like gourmet cooking.
有些情况会有非常强烈的冲动想要去做新的、未预期的事，比如买一台新跑车，或者发展新嗜好，如美食烹饪。
The class usually laughs a little bit after that and that's it. We end the night.
在谈到这些之后，全班通常会笑一笑，就这样，那晚就结束了。
But it didn't end there. When I finished my sentence, this big, burly father-to-be stands up, and I thought for sure he was leaving.
但那天却不是如此。我说完话之后，有位高大魁梧的准爸爸站起来，我很肯定地认为他是要离开了。
But instead, in a really gruff, commanding way, he says, "Alright, you guys, how many of you have cried during this thing, you know, her pregnancy?"
但他反而用一种很粗鲁且居高临下的方式说道：“好，各位，有多少人曾经在这期间哭过？在她怀孕期间？”
I scan the class to make sure everybody was OK.
我的视线扫过全班，确保大家都还好。
They were fine, they were just very intent on what was going to happen next.
他们很好，只是非常急切想知道接下来会发生什么事。
And then, one gentleman raises his hand and says, "I have." And then another, and the stories just flowed.
接着，有位男士举手，说：“我哭过。”接着，又有另一位，各种故事就这样涌出。
Even this really quiet gal -- she was the fiancee of one of the expecting moms
就连一个非常安静的女子--她是其中一位准妈妈的未婚妻
she looks at her and she says, "See? I told you my crying was normal too."
她看着她，说：“看到了吧？我告诉过你，我哭也是正常的。”
The class connected, they validated each other, and we all walked away with a new respect for the non-pregnant partners that night.
全班连结起来了，他们彼此验证，那晚，所有人离开时，对未怀孕的伴侣都有了新的看法。
For me, that solidified my passion to embrace those tears.
对我来说，那件事让我更坚定要去拥抱那些眼泪。
Then, it got better. On the last night of that same six-week class, one of the expecting moms came up to me.
接着，还有更好的。同样为期六周班级的最后一晚，一位准妈妈来找我。
She asked to talk to me privately, and I said of course, and we went into the corner.
她希望能和我私下谈，我说没问题，我们两人便到角落去。
And she says, "I need to thank you for saving my relationship."
她说：“你要谢谢你拯救了我的关系。”
I let her go on, and she tells me that her husband was considering leaving her over her mood swings, out-of-control crying,
我让她继续说，她告诉我，她先生本来在考虑要离开她，因为她心情摆荡不定、哭到无法控制，
and his turmoil and anger over this pregnancy. But he didn't leave.
且这段怀孕让他既混乱又生气。但他没有离开。
She went on to tell me that they realized now it's OK to cry.
她接着告诉我，他们现在知道哭泣是没关系的。
And he had told her that when he cries, he doesn't feel as angry.
他告诉她，当他哭出来时，就不会感到那么生气了。
Wow! Not only did crying bring my class together, it kept that couple together.
哇！哭泣不仅让我的班级凝聚起来，也让那对夫妻保持凝聚。
And you know, his comment about anger was really, really intriguing to me, so I looked around, did some research,
他对于生气的说法让我感到非常好奇，所以我四处找信息，做了些研究，
and sure enough, Dr. Oren Hasson, an evolutionary psychologist, he had some theories about when tears blur our vision,
果然，欧伦韩森博士，他是演化心理学家，他提出一些理论，说明当我们热泪盈眶时，
it really has the ability to, sometimes, reduce our ability to react to that anger.
真的有时候会降低我们对怒气做出反应的能力。
But the tears weren't the anger. They were more like the release valve.
但眼泪并不是怒气。眼泪比较像是减压阀。
And though many of us, we try to keep those tears inside, but letting them out really may be the better move.
虽然有许多人试图将眼泪压抑在内在，但让眼泪流出来可能会是更好的做法。
Keeping them inside can amplify our feelings of anger or sadness.
压抑在内可能会放大我们的愤怒感或悲伤感。
And while we're releasing those tears, our hormones inside, they're on high alert, and we know this because of Dr. William Frey, a biochemist.
当我们释放出那些眼泪时，我们内在的荷尔蒙处在高戒备状态，我们会知道这一点，是因为生物化学家威廉·佛莱。
He found that inside of our emotional tears -- not our everyday, like, yawning tears, but our emotional tears
他发现，在我们的情绪眼泪里面--不是日常的如呵欠眼泪，而是我们的情绪眼泪，
there's high concentrations of stress hormones and leucine enkephalins, which, easier on my tongue, is endorphins.
会有高浓度的压力荷尔蒙和亮氨酸脑啡肽，简单来说，就是脑内啡。
And while our stress hormones are helping our bodies out, our endorphins, those feel-good chemicals,
我们的压力荷尔蒙功能是在帮助我们的身体，而我们的脑内啡，让我们感觉很好的化学物质，
they're helping to act as a pain reliever to boost our mood. Now who wouldn't want that?
则是扮演止痛的角色，让我们振作起来。谁不会想要啊？
There are two triggers for the release of endorphins for most of us. Stress and pain.
对大部分人而言，有两样东西会触发脑内啡的释放。压力和痛苦。
And for a woman giving birth, experiencing both stress and pain, endorphins, they are a gift.
对于生产的女性而言，会经历到压力以及痛苦，因此，脑内啡就像天赐的礼物。
As the labor progresses, those endorphins will rise to help her with a potentially long labor.
随着分娩开始，那些脑内啡会增加，协助母亲渡过可能会很漫长的分娩。
As a result, the mom is better able to cope, and she can feel more alert and almost euphoric after the birth.
因此，母亲就会比较能撑下去，且在生产后会感到警觉比较敏锐且心情愉快。
Crying is just awesome. I wish there was a bigger word.
哭泣真的很赞。我希望还有更强大的字眼来形容。
Crying offers us an opportunity for physical relief, for intimacy between two individuals and ultimately, it promotes physical and mental well-being.
哭泣让我们的身体有机会放松，有机会让两个人亲近，最终，它还能促进身心健康。
And as an expression of our most intense interior human experiences, there is no need to be embarrassed, no need to be ashamed and no need to run away.
它也是种表达方式，表达我们最强烈的内在人类感受，不用感到不好意思，不用觉得羞耻，也不用逃避。
We need to have a healthy relationship with crying and change the way we view tears.
我们需要和哭泣建立健康的关系，并改变我们看待眼泪的方式。
We see them as overwhelming and scary and confusing, when they're really beautiful, soothing and reassuring.
我们认为眼泪是让人无法招架的、让人害怕的、让人困惑的，但其实，眼泪很美丽，很让人宽心和放心。
They're not to be seen as some screeching alarm bell that something is wrong but rather a natural functionality of our amazing bodies.
我们不该把眼泪视为某种尖锐的警铃，表示出问题了，我们应该将眼泪视为我们不可思议的身体所提供的一种自然功能。
Crying is as essential to me as breathing.
对我而言，哭泣和呼吸一样重要。
And now, if I'm caught crying on that couch by my wonderful husband,
当我的好先生再次发现我在沙发上哭泣时，
who has had to learn way more about crying than he ever wanted to, he doesn't run away.
他现在对哭泣的了解比他想要的还要多很多，他不会再逃走了。
He'll ask me why I'm crying, and I'll let him know I just need my release.
他会问我为什么哭，我会让他知道我只是需要释放一下。
He'll take my hand, and you know what I'll do? I will let it all out.
他会握住我的手，你知道我会做什么吗？我会全部解放出来。
And then I'm going to sink into that deep sense of intimacy and extraordinary sense of relief that only my tears can bring. Thank you.
接着，我会沉浸到深刻的亲密感以及超凡的放松感当中，只有我的眼泪才能带来这些感受。谢谢。
