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不要让焦虑成为一种习惯(4)

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So talk us through how we might approach applying curiosity when we're triggered and anxious.

那么,跟我们说说,当我们被触发和焦虑时,我们该如何运用好奇心。

Great question.

问得好。

And I think of it as a three step process and the process starts with just first being aware of these worry habit loops.

我认为这是一个三步走的过程,这个过程首先要意识到这些担忧的习惯循环。

So if we're not aware of them, we can't work with them.

所以如果我们没有意识到他们,我们就不能正确运用他们。

So just being able to map out what's the cue, what's the behavior, what's the result or what's the cue or the behavior.

所以只要能够绘制出线索是什么,行为是什么,结果是什么。

So for example… Is that the trigger.

那就是触发事件吗?

Let's use a workplace setting.

我们用工作场所的事件来举例。

So the cue or the trigger might be something, an email from my boss that I think is going to get me… That they're mad at me or something like that.

所以线索或触发因素可能是什么,我的老板发来的一封电子邮件,我可能会想到他们在生我的气或类似的事情。

Like a trigger. Perfect.

这就是触发因素。

Yeah so we see an email from our boss and already our heart rate can go up without even looking at the subject line just because it's from our boss.

因此,我们看到老板发来的一封电子邮件,甚至都没看主题栏,我就已经开始心跳加速了,因为这是老板发来的。

And so there, we can just start to map out, before we even open the email, we can just notice what we're tending to do.

所以甚至在我们打开电子邮件之前,我们就开始规划,我们就可以注意到我们倾向于做什么。

So if that's a trigger, oh, I see an email from my boss is my tendency to just start worrying, oh no, am I in trouble?

所以,如果这是一个触发因素,哦,我看到我老板发来的一封电子邮件是我开始担心,我是不是有什么麻烦了?

Or are they going to ask me to do more work?

或者他们会不会要求我做更多的工作?

Are they going to ask… Whatever.

他们会问……任何事情。

And then we can just map out what's the result of the worrying?

然后我们就可以描绘出担忧的结果是什么。

In that moment, what's the trigger, what's the behavior, what's the result.

在那一刻,触发因素是什么,行为是什么,结果是什么。

That's the first step.

这是第一步。

The second step is to simply ask ourselves, what am I getting from this behavior?

第二步就是简单地问问自己,我从这种行为中得到了什么?

So what am I getting from worrying?

那么,我从担忧中得到了什么呢?

And we can drop in not intellectually, but really drop into our direct experience.

我们可以不去思考,而是直接体验。

What does it feel like to worry?

担心是什么感觉?

Well, for most people, it doesn't feel very good.

嗯,对大多数人来说,感觉不是很好。

The reason I say drop into our direct experience is because that's really the only way to change a habit is through seeing very, very clearly how rewarding it actually is or isn't.

我之所以说进入我们的直接体验,是因为这是改变习惯的唯一方法,那就是要非常非常清楚地看到它到底有多值得或者不值得。

And so like we talked about earlier, our brain can think, oh, worrying is going to help me get things done or it's going to problem solve or whatever.

就像我们之前谈到的,我们的大脑可能认为,哦,担忧会帮助我把事情做好,或者它会解决问题,或者其他什么。

But if we really look at that closely and say, "Is that true?"

但是如果我们真的仔细观察并问问自己,“真的是这样吗?”

So we pointed out, it's not.

然后我们发现事实并非如此。

It doesn't help us solve problems.

它不能帮助我们解决问题。

And what we do know is true is that that worry burns us out.

我们所知道的是,这种担忧会让我们筋疲力尽。

It makes us feel more anxious.

这让我们感到更加焦虑。

And so it feeds back and drives anxiety.

所以它会反馈并驱使焦虑。

If we can do that, that helps us start to become disenchanted with the worry itself, with the worrying process.

如果我们能做到这一点,就能帮助我们开始对担忧本身、对担忧过程不再抱有幻想。

And that's critical because we can't force ourselves to not worry.

这很关键,因为我们不能强迫自己不担心。

Otherwise my job would be easy as a psychiatrist, my patients would come and I would just say, "Stop worrying."

否则作为一个精神科医生,我的工作就会很轻松,我的病人会来找我,我只需要说,“别担心。”

And they would stop.

然后他们就会停止焦虑。

Well, and also, we're not trying to change the anxiety trigger at this point.

嗯,而且我们现在并没有试图改变引发焦虑的因素。

Like we're not trying to have you not read your email or not feel that way when you see your boss's name.

好像我们不会不让你查看电子邮件,或者当你看到老板的名字时不让你产生这种感觉。

Right. And I'm glad you highlight that because often people get stuck in these loops of trying to control or avoid triggers.

对的。我很高兴你强调了这一点,因为人们经常陷入试图控制或避免触发因素的循环中。

For example, if we don't read our boss's email, probably other consequences are going to happen that are going to add to our anxiety, right?

例如,如果我们不看老板的电子邮件,可能会发生其他后果,这会增加我们的焦虑,对吗?

So real life is that we've got to deal with triggers.

所以在现实生活中,我们必须处理触发因素。

And the other piece is from a scientific point, I'm going to say this really clearly.

另外一条是从科学的角度出发,我要说得很清楚。

Because some people they're like, what?

因为有些人就像……

Triggers are the least important part of the equation if we look at habit formation.

如果我们观察习惯养成,会发现触发条件是等式中最不重要的部分。

Yeah, I'm going to say that again, triggers are the least important part of the equation.

是的,我要再说一遍,触发事件是等式中最不重要的部分。

Triggers don't drive habits.

触发条件不会让你养成习惯。

It's actually how rewarding a behavior is.

这实际上是一种行为的回报程度。

That's why it's called reward based learning.

这就是为什么它被称为基于奖励的学习。

So something's rewarding.

所以有些东西是值得的。

We're going to repeat it.

我们要重复一遍。

If it's not rewarding, we're going to stop doing it.

如果没有回报,我们就不做了。

Notice how that has nothing to do with the trigger.

请注意,这与触发条件没有任何关系。

Wow.

哇。

So that's why the second step is so critical.

这就是为什么第二步如此关键。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
curiosity [.kjuəri'ɔsiti]

想一想再看

n. 好奇,好奇心

联想记忆
psychiatrist [sai'kaiətrist]

想一想再看

n. 精神病医师,精神病学家

 
control [kən'trəul]

想一想再看

n. 克制,控制,管制,操作装置
vt. 控制

 
approach [ə'prəutʃ]

想一想再看

n. 接近; 途径,方法
v. 靠近,接近,动

联想记忆
tendency ['tendənsi]

想一想再看

n. 趋势,倾向

联想记忆
critical ['kritikəl]

想一想再看

adj. 批评的,决定性的,危险的,挑剔的
a

 
rewarding [ri'wɔ:diŋ]

想一想再看

adj. 有报酬的,有益的

联想记忆
intellectually

想一想再看

adv. 智力上;知性上;理智地

 
avoid [ə'vɔid]

想一想再看

vt. 避免,逃避

联想记忆
cue [kju:]

想一想再看

n. 暗示,提示,信号
vt. 给 ... 提

 

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