March 20, 2009

"People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show. We tried to have other presidents on, but President Bush went to bed every night at 9:00. And President Clinton always seemed to have other late-night plans." --Jay Leno
“有史以来第一次现任总统做访深夜脱口秀节目，大家对这个事实都大惊小怪。其实我们这个脱口秀节目组以前曾试图邀请过其他在任总统，但那时布什总统总是每晚九点就上床了。而克林顿总统在深夜似乎总是有其他的安排。”——杰·雷诺

"You know, we own AIG, right? We own 80% of it. And because of all of the outrage over these bonuses, armed guards now have to be placed outside the AIG offices. You know what that means? Not only are we paying the AIG executive bonuses, we are now paying to protect the executives from us. Does that make any sense to anybody?" --Jay Leno
“你们知道，我们拥有AIG，对吗？我们拥有AIG百分之八十的股份。然而由于对那些奖金引起的公愤，现在必须在AIG办公楼外设置武装警卫。你知道这意味着什么吗？我们不仅要给AIG高管们的奖金买单，我们现在还要为保护他们免遭我们攻击的安全费用买单。有人觉得这有任何意义吗？”-杰·雷诺

"Today is the first day of spring. Yeah, or, as Al Gore calls it, global warming." --Jay Leno
“今天是春季的第一天。是的，或者，用前副总统戈尔的话来说，全球变暖。”-杰·雷诺

"We spilled 25,000 barrels of oil into the Strait of Hormuz, by Iraq. And a U.S. Navy server ship collided with a submarine. Who else, but us, could invade the Middle East and lose oil? It's like robbing a bank and leaving your wallet." --Bill Maher
“我们在伊拉克那边的霍尔木兹海峡泄漏了25000桶石油。而且一艘美国海军服务船和一艘美国潜艇相撞。除了我们还有谁，可以入侵中东而又失去石油？这就像是你去抢劫一家银行，却落下了你自己的钱包。”——比尔·马赫

"There's a new bin Laden tape where he calls for the destruction of Somalia. That's right. Forget destroying America, that job is done." --Bill Maher
“有一段新的本·拉丹录像，在录像里他号召摧毁索马里。没错。忘掉他那个摧毁美国的号召吧，那项任务已经完成了。”——比尔·马赫

"You saw what happened in San Diego yesterday? There were these two drug dealers the cops were chasing on the freeway, and they started to throw all the money out the window. The cops were not suspicious -- they thought it was Obama's motorcade." --Bill Maher
“昨天你目睹了圣地亚哥发生的事情吗？在高速公路上，有这两名毒贩遭到了警方的追逐，然后他们向车窗外撒出所有的钱。正在追逐的警察对此(钱从车子撒出来的行径)并没有起疑——他们认为他们追随的正是奥巴马的车队。”——比尔·马赫

"The president was in town this week. He spoke at the L.A. County fairgrounds. I tell you, he's still got it. People were sleeping outside all night. They were homeless, but that's not the point. They love him." --Bill Maher
“总统本周正在本市。他在洛杉矶县露天市场发表演讲。我告诉你，他还是很受欢迎的。人们露宿街头。他们无家可归，但这不重要。重要的是—他们热爱他。”——比尔·马赫