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我们往往忽视家暴的这些早期迹象

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John Meehan told Debra Newell he would be the best thing that would ever happen to her. He ended up being the worst. The new podcast Dirty John produced by the Los Angeles Times tells a story of an abusive relationship and how a serial offender managed to manipulate and coerce multiple smart, accomplished and wealthy women.

约翰•梅恩对德布拉•纽维尔说,他将是她遇到的最美好的事情。但结果却是他是她遇到的最糟糕的事情。《洛杉矶时报》制作的这一新博客Dirty John讲述了家暴恋情的故事,以及一个惯犯如何成功地操控和强迫多个聪明、有成就而又富有的女性。
But this is not like the story we are used to. Meehan is 55 years old, six-foot tall, handsome and charismatic, presenting as an anaesthetist, rarely dressed in anything but his scrubs. Newell is 59, a mother of four, and owner of an extremely successful interior-design business. The narrative of abuse does not start with Meehan’s fiery temper, or checking his partner’s phone in the middle of the night. It does not begin with degradation or cruelty or control.
但与以往故事不同,梅恩55岁、6英尺高,英俊而又富有魅力,是一位麻醉师,除了工作服外不怎么穿其它衣服。纽维尔59岁,有4个孩子,拥有一家极其成功的室内设计店。这段家暴的开场并不是梅恩的火爆脾气,也不是在半夜查看另一半的手机。这段故事的开头并不是堕落、残忍或控制。
It begins with what looks a lot like kindness. Meehan was – in Newell’s words – “perfect”. On their first date, he opened the door for her and placed her napkin gently on her lap. He had a warm smile – the kind that made people trust him. Meehan was fascinated by Newell, asking question after question about her life.
这段故事的开头看起来很美好。用纽维尔的话来说,梅恩简直“完美”。初次约会时,他为她开门、温柔地把纸巾铺在她的腿上。他的笑容很温暖——让人很容易信任他。梅恩为纽维尔着迷,不断的询问她的生活状况。

我们往往忽视家暴的这些早期迹象.jpg

“The intensity of the attention was flattering,” Newell says. He would constantly tell her how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to have her. As the weeks rolled on, he spoiled his new girlfriend. Every morning, he bought her coffee. He did the grocery shopping. He did the dry cleaning. He took the cars for maintenance. He insisted on carrying her purse. He doted on her in a way she had never before experienced.

“这种浓烈的兴趣很令人满意,”纽维尔说道。他总是告诉她她有多美以及拥有她是如何幸运。几个星期后,他宠坏了他新交的女朋友。每天早晨,他都给她带咖啡。还去超市买东西、干洗、送车去维修、坚持替她拎包。他以一种她从未体验过的方式宠着她。
Meehan was everything Newell had ever wanted. It was date two or three when Meehan told Newell he loved her, and he could not wait to marry her. Because that’s what happens when you fall in love – we’re told. You just know. It’s why we use the analogy of ‘falling’ – you can’t control it, you can’t stop halfway. Everyone thinks you’ve gone mad. Your heart beats hard out of your chest. It’s moving fast, but that’s because of the force of the passion.
梅恩做到了纽维尔想要的一切。约会两三次后,梅恩对纽维尔说他爱她,而且已经等不及要娶她了。因为坠入爱河就会自然而然地想要结婚——别人都是这么说的。你就是知道。所以我们用“坠入”这个词比喻我们无法控制、无法半途而废。每个人都觉得你疯了。你的心砰砰跳。恋情进展很快,但这是因为你们充满了激情。
“Follow your heart,” goes the cliche.
“听从自己的内心,”陈词滥调都这么说。

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重点单词   查看全部解释    
temper ['tempə]

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n. 脾气,性情
vt. 使缓和,调和 <

联想记忆
manipulate [mə'nipjuleit]

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vt. 操纵,操作,控制,利用,(巧妙地)处理,篡改

联想记忆
abuse [ə'bju:s,ə'bju:z]

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n. 滥用,恶习
vt. 滥用,辱骂,虐待

联想记忆
flattering ['flætəriŋ]

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adj. 奉承的;谄媚的

 
smart [smɑ:t]

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adj. 聪明的,时髦的,漂亮的,敏捷的,轻快的,整洁的

 
constantly ['kɔnstəntli]

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adv. 不断地,经常地

 
passion ['pæʃən]

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n. 激情,酷爱

联想记忆
accomplished [ə'kɔmpliʃt]

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adj. 娴熟的,有造诣的,完成的,有成就的,毫无疑问的

联想记忆
experienced [iks'piəriənst]

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adj. 有经验的

 
intensity [in'tensiti]

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n. 强烈,强度

 

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