Mike and Eddie: Sure.
Tina: Should we be concerned? They are holding hands.

Eddie: Ey. This evening is going great, hey Mike?
Mike: Yeah.

Jason: Ben.
Ben: What?
Jason: What are you doing in our bedroom?
Ben: Um, just cleaning your binoculars.
Jason: You were spying on Mike, weren't you?
Ben: Dad look...
Jason: Ben, spying is wrong, not to mention immoral and somewhat perverted.
Ben: It's worse than that.
Jason: What do you mean?
Ben: Mike is over there with a date, and his old girlfriend Kate just showed up with Eddie.
Jason: That doesn't make it....Kate? Well, well, well.
Ben: Yes, so now you see why I am spying?
Jason: No. I want you to go to your room and think about what you did and why it was wrong.
And leave the binoculars.

Mike: Look Eddie, I just wanted to apologize man. I mean, I think I've been so caught up in my
own feelings, that I forgot how weird you must be feeling about all this.
Eddie: I'm just happy no-one found the Band-Aid.
Mike: Eddie, Eddie, come on. Don't pretend. It's ok. I want you to hear it with me. My
relationship with Kate is over. Alright uh, she is no longer my girlfriend.
Eddie: Great. Let's go and eat.
Mike: I'm serious man. Don't worry about me. I mean, what Kate does is her business.
Eddie: Right. Her business. And whoever happens to go into business with her...
Mike: Hey, you are talking about my....my ex-girlfriend.
Eddie: Oh Mike. I'm sorry. This must be pretty hard for you. Listen, Kate and I could go back
to her place.
Mike: No! I mean, uh, go. Go wherever you want. Do whatever you want. Alright. I give her to
you.
Eddie: Thanks. Can I give you some money?
Jason: Oh man. I wish I could read lips.
Maggie: Jason honey. What are you doing?
Jason: Just cleaning your binoculars.
Maggie: I don't have any binoculars.
Jason: Too bad. Your loss.

Maggie: Jason. Jason, you're spying on mike aren't you.
Jason: No, no. I'm not spying. A father doesn't spy. A father observes, and then
goes...woohooo!
Maggie: Oh Jason, how would you like it if you were in his apartment doing what he is doing
and he were in here spying on you?
Jason: Well...ha ha. I'd hate that. I'd hate that. It's awful.

Eddie: Ladies, did you miss us?
Tina: Hee hee hee. So, how long have you dated Kate?
Mike: Two months.
Eddie: Two weeks. I believe this is our third date Tina.
Kate: It's our forth Eddie. You forgot about our afternoon at the zoo.
Mike: Oh, is that where he picked you up?
Kate: No. That's where I picked him up. So how long have you two been going out?
Tina: Is this out or in?
Mike: Uh, this is our first date. Wh, wh, what's so funny?
Kate: Nothing. It's just a private joke.
Mike: Oh. Would you care sharing that with us?
Kate and Eddie: No.
Mike: I said share Mr.
Kate: What the heck is going on? I mean I thought we agreed to be civilized. To be adults.
Mike: Yeah, well civilized adults do not date rotting pigs.
Kate: What are you saying?
Mike: I am saying that you are too good for him.
Kate: I thought he was your friend?
Mike: He is my friend. I overlook his flaws.
Kate: Well so do I.I have fun with him.
Mike: Fun!
Kate: Yeah. He's not complicated. Mike I just have a good time with him.
Mike: Oh, oh, and when I was just fun and liked to have a good time, you called me a terminal
teenager who's afraid to grow up.
Kate: You are.
Mike: Oh I am. I'm not. I'm not.
Kate: Look how you are acting. It's like you want to get back together or something.
Mike: No. Lets stop right there. It's just, it's just...
Kate: Just what?
Mike: Kate, alright, I'll tell you what's really bothering me.
What's really bothering me is how could you possibly like Eddie after having liked me?
Kate: Because my relationship with Eddie isn't heading anywhere.

Mike: Oh hey. Well may I point out that ours wasn't heading anywhere either.
Kate: I know. But that was the problem. I wanted it to go somewhere with you.
Mike: Oh. Oh but with Eddie for some reason it's not a problem?
Kate: Exactly.
Mike: Kate, I don't get this. I do not get it. And let me tell you something. You know what? I'm
happening. I'm happening. I am out there is this world doing whatever I want, whenever I
want. And in fact, in fact... (Kisses her) And if you don't watch what you say I'll do it again.
Kate: Mike, what are you doing?
Mike: I, I don't know.

Maggie: Oh Jason, look, they are kissing. Isn't it sweet?
Jason: That's the forth girl he has been with today.
Carol: Hi. I'm home from that...You were spying on me and my date on the porch. Weren't
you? This is so sweet. You do care.
Jason: What can I say honey? You caught us. I think a lie was in order in that case.
Mike: You know, I, I was so sick and tired of you hounding me for commitment. And all that
stuff about me growing up, you wanting me to be responsible, and, and in fact I haven't
regretted our breakup for, (kiss), for (kiss) one minute.
Kate: Good. Me (kiss) either.

Ben: I am so glad I bought the high powered binoculars.
Mike: So I guess tonight, we're starting over?
Kate: I guess.
Mike: Alright. Look Kate, we've got to go in there and tell them how we feel about each other.
I mean, they'll understand.
Kate: Hey, we just have to remember there are other people's feelings at stake.
Mike: Yeah.
Tina: Seven and three eights.
Eddie: How do you do it?
Mike: Uh, uh, guys.
Tina: Here it comes. I can read the writing in the wall. You're done with me.
Mike: Oh Tina.
Tina: I should have known you were a two timer when you picked me up while you were with
that other girl.
Mike: Look, look, she didn't matter to me any more than Tina does.
Tina: I don't matter?
Mike: No, no, no. Tina of course you matter.
Kate: Mike!
Mike: Kate, what am I supposed to do. I can't break her heart.
Kate: I can.
Eddie: I'm feeling betrayed here Mike. You sold me this woman.
Kate: What?
Mike: Wait. I did not take a dime. I gave you to him.
Kate: Oh!
Mike: No, no. Kate I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
Tina: Just tell me if I am getting cab fare or if I am in for the duration?
Mike: Look, look Kate. Maybe we should put off starting off until tomorrow.
Kate: No, lets not. No, in fact you can forget everything that went on out there, because we
are through. Again.
Eddie: Hey. Mike. I can see you are pretty upset about this. I'll take Tina home.

Jason: Yeah, well I just heard angry high heels on the drive way. I know that sound.
Mike: Hey guys.
Jason: Mike. Your mum must have got her robe caught on, the thing. So the old room looks ok,
hey?
Mike: I just want to say that nothing you have ever told me even came close to preparing me
for what happened to me tonight. And I blame both of you. More you than her dad.
Maggie: What happened Mike?
Mike: Well I have got dozens of girls. Dozens of girls. I can't even keep their names straight. I
mean dad. You were in the bushes. You saw me with that girl. Right?
Maggie: Jason, is peeping a full time hobby with you?
Mike: And why on earth would I want to give up all that fun? Not that anyone wants me to
give up all that fun and make a commitment. No, I'm too immature.
Maggie: Oh honey, does this have something to do with Kate?
Mike: Mum, how did you know?
Maggie: A mother knows.
Jason: But Mike, my guess is that you talked about getting back together and it just didn't
work. Hey?
Mike: You too!
Jason: Well a father knows too.
Mike: It just doesn't make sense. I mean, I want to get back together with Kate and I want to
be with her. I want to be with her every single second.
Maggie: Oh Mike, that's your heart talking.
Mike: But on the other hand I want to be with every other girl I find interesting? Ok, all
women everywhere. I just don't know what to do.
Jason: Well that's because you have a hint of a conscience Mike.
Mike: Well can I get rid of it?
Jason: No such luck.
Maggie: No such luck!
Jason: Maggie please. Female bitterness isn't going to help Mike. Look, in every male there
are two basic drives. You know that on the one hand is that drive to nest with a single mate
and build a beautiful life together. On the other hand, kind of hopping from tree to tree to see
what shakes. In fact that second drive is so strong that society has created rules to force a
man, no matter how strong he is, to capitulate and eventually get married.
Maggie: Capitulate! Oh, lucky us.
Jason: These are scientific facts Maggie.
Maggie: Jason, this is a long way to go to justify a wandering eye.
Jason: I thought we were close enough that I could share these truths with my son, in front of
you. Look, with enough time and experience you are going to achieve the wisdom to see
Mike, that by giving up these hundreds, thousands, millions of girls, that you are going to get
so much more with one woman. Really, and when that distant day comes, you are going to
be saying "I got it". And you won't be sacrificing a thing.
Mike: I got it.
Jason: Wait, wait, wait. How can this be that distant day? You've been thinking about it for five
seconds.
Mike: Because, it was enough.
Jason: Wait, wait, wait. You are not thinking straight. You have been with four gorgeous
women in one day.
Mike: Yeah dad. I have got what you are saying. I'm telling you. I got it!

Mike: Hi listen; don't say a word until I'm finished, right? I am ready now. I want to be with
you. Look I am through with being a terminal teenager. I am ready to make a commitment
Kate. What number is this? Listen I am really sorry.....Mike. Hi Lisa, it's nice to meet you too.
Listen, I got to go. Well yes, I have had some voice training. I'm an actor. What do you do? Oh
wow! You are a toll booth collector and a lingerie model? Well it makes me kind of sad I do my
motoring with exact change. Wow man, you've got a great laugh. Why do you have to have
such a great laugh? Why do they all have to have such great laughs? Uh, hey listen, could you
hold on while I go ask my dad to explain something? Alright. You still there?