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My inbox is full of hate mails and personal abuse and has been for years.
我的收件箱中满满都是攻击性信件以及个人辱骂，且已经持续数年。
In 2010, I started answering those mails and suggesting to the writer that we might meet for coffee and a chat.
2010年，我开始回复那些信件，向信件作者提议见面喝杯咖啡聊聊天。
I have had hundreds of encounters. They have taught me something important that I want to share with you.
我已经有了数百次的相会。他们教了我很重要的东西，今天我要来跟大家分享。
I was born in Turkey from Kurdish parents and we moved to Denmark when I was a young child.
我生在土耳其，父母是库德人，在我还小的时候，我们就搬到丹麦了。
In 2007, I ran for a seat in the Danish parliament as one of the first women with a minority background.
2007年，我去竞选丹麦国会的一席，我是第一个少数族群背景的女性候选人。
I was elected, but I soon found out that not everyone was happy about it
我当选了，但我很快就发现，并非人人都对这件事感到高兴，
as I had to quickly get used to finding hate messages in my inbox.
我得要很快适应在我的收件箱中找到攻击性信件。
Those emails would begin with something like this: "What's a raghead like you doing in our parliament?"
那些信件的开头可能是这样的：“你这种用破布里头的人在我们的国会里干什么？”
I never answered. I'd just delete the emails. I just thought that the senders and I had nothing in common.
我从来没有回应。我只会把信件删除。我只是认为，寄件者和我完全没有交集。
They didn't understand me, and I didn't understand them.
他们不了解我，我不了解他们。
Then one day, one of my colleagues in the parliament said that I should save the hate mails.
接着，有一天，我的一位国会同事说，我应该要把攻击性信件保存起来。
"When something happens to you, it will give the police a lead."
“当你发生了什么事，警方就能有线索。”
I noticed that she said, "When something happens" and not "if."
我注意到她说“当你发生了什么事”而非“如果”。
Sometimes hateful letters were also sent to my home address.
有时，攻击性信件也会寄到我家的地址。
The more I became involved in public debate, the more hate mail and threats I received.
我涉入越多公开辩论，我就会收到越多攻击性信件及威胁。
After a while, I got a secret address and I had to take extra precautions to protect my family.
一阵子之后，我弄了一个秘密地址，且我得要做额外的预防来保护我的家人。
Then in 2010, a Nazi began to harass me.
接着，2010年，一个纳粹开始骚扰我。
It was a man who had attacked Muslim women on the street. Over time, it became much worse.
这个人曾经在街上攻击穆斯林女性。随时间过去，状况越来越糟。
I was at the zoo with my children, and the phone was ringing constantly. It was the Nazi.
我带孩子去动物园时，电话响个不停。是那个纳粹打的。
I had the impression that he was close. We headed home.
我觉得他就在附近。我们启程回家。
When we got back, my son asked, "Why does he hate you so much, Mom, when he doesn't even know you?"
当我们回去后，我儿子问：“妈，他为什么这么恨你？他甚至不认识你？”
"Some people are just stupid," I said. And at the time, I actually thought that was a pretty clever answer.
我说：“有些人就是很蠢。”那时，我还心想那是个很聪明的回答。
And I suspect that that is the answer most of us would give.
我猜，那也是大部分人会给的答案。
The others -- they are stupid, brainwashed, ignorant.
其他人--他们很蠢、被洗脑了、很无知。
We are the good guys and they are the bad guys, period.
我们是好人，他们是坏人，就这么简单。
Several weeks later I was at a friend's house, and I was very upset and angry about all the hate and racism I had met.
几周后，我在一位朋友家中，我非常沮丧且生气，抱怨我所遇到的所有仇恨和种族主义。
It was he who suggested that I should call them up and visit them.
是那位朋友建议我应该打电话给他们，并拜访他们。
"They will kill me," I said.
我说：“他们会杀了我。”
"They would never attack a member of the Danish Parliament," he said.
他说：“他们绝对不会攻击丹麦国会成员的。”
"And anyway, if they killed you, you would become a martyr."
“而且就算他们杀了你，你也会变成烈士。”
"So it's pure win-win situation for you."
“所以，对你来说，是怎样都赢的局面。”
His advice was so unexpected, when I got home,
我完全没料到他会这样建议，我回家后，
I turned on my computer and opened the folder where I had saved all the hate mail.
打开我的计算机，开启了我储存所有攻击性信件的资料夹。
There were literally hundreds of them.
真的有数百封信在里面。
Emails that started with words like "terrorist," "raghead," "rat," "whore."
电子邮件的开头包括有“恐怖分子”、“用破布里头的人”、“鼠辈”、“妓女”。
I decided to contact the one who had sent me the most. His name was Ingolf.
我决定要和寄最多信给我的那个人联络。他的名字叫英格夫。
I decided to contact him just once so I could say at least I had tried.
我决定只要联络他一次，这样我就可以说至少我试过了。
To my surprise and shock, he answered the phone.
让我很意外和惊讶的是，他接起了电话。
I blurted out, "Hello, my name is Ozlem. You have sent me so many hate mails. You don't know me, I don't know you.
我脱口：“你好，我是欧兹兰。你寄了好多攻击性信件给我。你不认识我，我不认识你。
I was wondering if I could come around and we can drink a coffee together and talk about it?"
我在想，我能不能过去，跟你喝杯咖啡，谈谈这件事？”
There was silence on the line. And then he said, "I have to ask my wife."
电话上是一段沉默。接着，他说：“我得问一下我太太。”
What? The racist has a wife?
什么？这个种族主义者有太太？
A couple of days later, we met at his house.
几天后，我们在他家见面。
I will never forget when he opened his front door and reached out to shake my hand. I felt so disappointed.
我永远不会忘记，当他打开他的前门，伸出手和我握手的那一刻。我感到好失望。
Because he looked nothing like I'd imagined.
因为他完全不是我想象的那样子。
I had expected a horrible person -- dirty, messy house. It was not.
我预期他会是个很糟糕的人--肮脏、零乱的房子。并非如此。
His house smelled of coffee which was served from a coffee set identical to the one my parents used.
他的房子有咖啡香，咖啡香来自他泡咖啡的那组用具，且跟我父母用的是同一款。
I ended up staying for two and a half hours. And we had so many things in common. Even our prejudices were alike.
结果，我在那里待了两个半小时。我们有好多共通点。就连我们的偏见都很相近。
Ingolf told me that when he waits for the bus and the bus stops 10 meters away from him,
英格夫告诉我，当他在等公交车时，公交车在离他十公尺的地方停下来，
it was because the driver was a "raghead." I recognized that feeling.
原因是因为司机是“用破布里头的人”。我认得这种感觉。
When I was young and I waited for the bus and it stopped 10 meters away from me, I was sure that the driver was a racist.
我年轻时在等公交车时，它停在离我十公尺的地方。我很确定那司机是种族主义者。
When I got home, I was very ambivalent about my experience.
当我回到家，我对我的经历感到十分矛盾。
On the one hand, I really liked Ingolf.
一方面，我真的很喜欢英格夫。
He was easy and pleasant to talk to, but on the other hand,
跟他说话很自在愉快，但另一方面，
I couldn't stand the idea of having so much in common with someone who had such clearly racist views.
我无法忍受想到和我有如此多共通点的人，却也是个有这么明显种族主义观点的人。
Gradually, and painfully, I came to realize that
渐渐地且痛苦地，我开始了解到，
I had been just as judgmental of those who had sent me hate mails as they had been of me.
我其实也在评断那些寄攻击性信件给我的人，就如同他们在评断我一样。
This was the beginning of what I call #dialoguecoffee.
这件事开始了我所称的“#对话咖啡”。
Basically, I sit down for coffee with people who have said the most terrible things to me
基本上，我会和曾经对我说过最恶劣的话的人坐下来喝杯咖啡，
to try to understand why they hate people like me when they don't even know me.
试图了解为什么他们会恨像我这样的人，即使他们根本不认识我。
I have been doing this the last eight years. The vast majority of people I approach agree to meet me.
我过去八年都一直在做这件事。我试图联络的人，绝大多数都同意跟我见面。
Most of them are men, but I have also met women.
大部分是男性，但我也曾经见过女性。
I have made it a rule to always meet them in their house to convey from the outset that I trust them.
我订下了一条规则，都要在他们的家中和他们见面，从一开端就传达出我对他们的信任。
I always bring food because when we eat together, it is easier to find what we have in common and make peace together.
我总会带食物，因为当我们一起吃时，就比较容易找到我们的共通点，并一起言归于好。
Along the way, I have learned some valuable lessons.
一路上，我学到了一些宝贵的经验。
The people who sent hate mails are workers, husbands, wives, parents like you and me.
寄攻击性信件给我的人是劳工、丈夫、妻子、父母，跟你我没两样。
I'm not saying that their behavior is acceptable,
我并不是说他们的行为是可以接受的，
but I have learned to distance myself from the hateful views without distancing myself from the person who's expressing those views.
但我已经学会了让我自己远离仇恨的看法，却不让自己远离表述那些看法的人。
And I have discovered that the people I visit are just as afraid of people they don't know
我发现，我拜访的那些人只是害怕他们不认识的人，
as I was afraid of them before I started inviting myself for coffee.
就如同在我开始要求自己去喝咖啡之前，我会很害怕他们一样。
During these meetings, a specific theme keeps coming up.
在这些会面过程中，有一个主题不断出现。
It shows up regardless whether I'm talking to a humanist or a racist, a man, a woman, a Muslim or an atheist.
这个主题总会出现，不论我谈话的对象是人道主义者或种族主义者，男人或女人，穆斯林或无神论者。
They all seem to think that other people are to blame for the hate and for the generalization of groups.
他们似乎全都认为仇恨、族群的概化，都是其他人的错。
They all believe that other people have to stop demonizing.
他们都相信，其他人必须要停止妖魔化。
They point at politicians, the media, their neighbor or the bus driver who stops 10 meters away.
他们把矛头对准政客、媒体、他们的邻居，或是把公交车停在十公尺外的司机。
But when I asked, "What about you? What can you do?",
但当我问：“你自己呢？你能做什么？”
the reply is usually, "What can I do? I have no influence. I have no power."
回答通常是：“我能做什么？我没有影响力。我没有权力。”
I know that feeling. For a large part of my life, I also thought that I didn't have any power or influence
我知道那种感觉。我人生中很长一段时间也认为我没有任何权力或影响力，
even when I was a member of the Danish parliament. But today I know the reality is different.
即使当我成为丹麦国会的成员也一样。但现今，我知道现实是不同的。
We all have power and influence where we are, so we must never, never underestimate our own potential.
不论我们在哪里，我们都有权力和影响力，所以我们永远不可以，永远不可以低估我们自己的潜力。
The #dialoguecoffee meetings have taught me that
“#对话咖啡”会面教导我的是：
people of all political convictions can be caught demonizing the others with different views.
任何政治信念的人，都可能会将其他不同观点的人给妖魔化。
I know what I'm talking about. As a young child, I hated different population groups.
我知道我在说什么。我还小的时候，我痛恨不同的族群。
And at the time, my religious views were very extreme.
那时，我的宗教观点是非常极端的。
But my friendship with Turks, with Danes, with Jews and with racists has vaccinated me against my own prejudices.
但我和土耳其人、丹麦人、犹太人及种族主义者的友谊，已经让我对于我自己的偏见能够免疫。
I grew up in a working-class family, and on my journey I have met many people who have insisted on speaking to me.
我在一个劳工阶级的家庭长大，在我的旅程中，我见到了许多人，他们坚持要跟我说话。
They have changed my views. They have formed me as a democratic citizen and a bridge builder.
他们改变了我的观点。他们让我成为了一个民主的公民以及搭起桥梁的人。
If you want to prevent hate and violence,
如果你想要预防仇恨和暴力，
we have to talk to as many people as possible for as long as possible while being as open as possible.
我们得要尽可能和更多人谈谈，能做多久就做多久，且要尽可能让自己保持开放态度。
That can only be achieved through debate, critical conversation and insisting on dialogue that doesn't demonize people.
达成的唯一方式只有辩论、批判性交谈，并坚持在对话中不要将别人妖魔化。
I'm going to ask you a question.
我要问各位一个问题。
I invite you to think about it when you get home and in the coming days, but you have to be honest with yourself.
我想请各位在回家之后及接下来的几天想想这个问题，但你们得要对自己诚实以待。
It should be easy, no one else will know it. The question is this ... who do you demonize?
应该很容易，没有其他人会知道。这个问题就是...你把谁妖魔化了？
Do you think supporters of American President Trump are deplorables?
你认为美国总统特朗普的支持者是可叹的、凄惨的人？
Or that those who voted for Turkish President Erdogan are crazy Islamists?
或者，认为投票给土耳其总统艾尔多安的人是疯狂的伊斯兰教徒？
Or that those who voted for Le Pen in France are stupid fascists?
或者，认为在法国投票给勒朋的人是愚蠢的法西斯主义者？
Or perhaps you think that Americans who voted for Bernie Sanders are immature hippies.
或者，也许你认为投票给伯尼·桑德斯的美国人是不成熟的嬉皮？
All those words have been used to vilify those groups.
所有这些字词，都曾经被用来诽谤那些族群。
Maybe at this point, do you think I am an idealist?
也许，在这个时点，你认为我是个理想主义者？
I want to give you a challenge. Before the end of this year, I challenge you to invite someone who you demonize
我想要给各位一个挑战。在今年结束之前，我挑战各位，去邀请某个被你妖魔化的人
someone who you disagree with politically and/or culturally and don't think you have anything in common with.
你在政治上及/或文化上不能认同，且你认为和你没有共通点的人。
I challenge you to invite someone like this to #dialoguecoffee. Remember Ingolf?
我挑战各位，去邀请这样的人进行#对话咖啡。记得英格夫吗？
Basically, I'm asking you to find an Ingolf in your life, contact him or her and suggest that you can meet for #dialoguecofee.
基本上，我是在请你们去找到自己人生中的英格夫，联络他/她，提议你们可以见个面，来杯#对话咖啡。
When you start at #dialoguecoffee, you have to remember this: first, don't give up if the person refuses at first.
当你开始做#对话咖啡时，切记：第一，如果对方一开始拒绝你，不要放弃。
Sometimes it's taken me nearly one year to arrange a #dialoguecoffee meeting.
有时，我要花一年才能安排好一次#对话咖啡的会面。
Two: acknowledge the other person's courage. It isn't just you who's brave.
第二：认可对方的勇气。勇敢的人不只是你。
The one who's inviting you into their home is just as brave.
邀请你进到他家中的那个人也同等勇敢。
Three: don't judge during the conversation.
第三：在交谈时不要做评断。
Make sure that most of the conversation focuses on what you have in common. As I said, bring food.
确保交谈能大致上聚焦在你们的共通点上。如先前说过的，带食物去。
And finally, remember to finish the conversation in a positive way because you are going to meet again.
最后，切记，要用正面的方式来结束交谈，因为你们会再次见面。
A bridge can't be built in one day.
桥梁不是一天就能建造好的。
We are living in a world where many people hold definitive and often extreme opinions about the others without knowing much about them.
在我们所居住的世界中，人们对于其他人会抱持有决定性且通常很极端的意见，但其实对于对方所知甚少。
We notice of course the prejudices on the other side than in our own bases.
我们比较会注意到对方的偏见，而不是我们自己这边的。
And we ban them from our lives. We delete the hate mails.
我们就把他们排拒在我们的人生之外了。我们会把攻击性信件删除。
We hang out only with people who think like us and talk about the others in a category of disdain.
我们只和跟我们思想相近的人一起出去，用一种鄙弃的方式来谈论他人。
We unfriend people on Facebook, and when we meet people who are discriminating or dehumanizing people or groups,
我们在脸书上解除朋友关系，当我们遇到有歧视或是会把人或族群给妖魔化的人时，
we don't insist on speaking with them to challenge their opinions.
我们不会坚持要和他们说话来挑战他们的意见。
That's how healthy democratic societies break down -- when we don't check the personal responsibility for the democracy.
健康的民主社会就是这样才失灵的--我们不去检查个人在民主上的责任。
We take the democracy for granted. It is not.
我们觉得民主是理所当然的。并不是。
Conversation is the most difficult thing in a democracy and also the most important.
在民主中，交谈是最困难却也是最重要的。
So here's my challenge. Find your Ingolf.
所以，这是我给大家的挑战。找到你的英格夫。
Start a conversation. Trenches have been dug between people, yes,
开始进行交谈。是的，人与人之间已经被挖出了鸿沟，
but we all have the ability to build the bridges that cross the trenches.
但我们都有能力可以在鸿沟上面搭建桥梁。
And let me end by quoting my friend, Sergeot Uzan,
在演讲的尾声，我想要引述我朋友沙吉阿特·乌赞的话，
who lost his son, Dan Uzan, in a terror attack on a Jewish synagogue in Copenhagen, 2015.
在一场发生在2015年哥本哈根的犹太教堂的恐怖袭击当中，他失去了他的儿子丹·乌赞。
Sergio rejected any suggestion of revenge and instead said this
沙吉阿特回绝了任何报复的建议，反之，他这么说
"Evil can only be defeated by kindness between people. Kindness demands courage."
“只有人与人之间的仁慈，才能打败邪恶。仁慈需要勇气。”
Dear friends, let's be courageous. Thank you.
亲爱的朋友们，让我们鼓起勇气吧。谢谢。
