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Greetings. It is I-the alone ranger?
大家好 难道我是独行侠吗
We are back in our regular timeslot with an abbreviated version of our show.
我们将在常规时段播放我们的简化版节目
We'll be on for a half an hour followed by nightline and this will be the plan until the shackles come off.
我们会先录半个小时 之后是晚间报道 这就是我们的计划 直到隔离结束
I hope you had a happy easter.
希望你们度过了一个快乐的复活节
We had one of those family dinner video conference.
我们开了一个家庭晚餐视频会议
This is what our easter was like: Unmute yourself...grandma, you have to...we can't hear. Hit on mute.
我们的复活节是这样子的：别给自己禁言了……奶奶 你得……我们听不到 按一下弱音器
It was less like an easter dinner and more like I was hosting a non-celebrity reboot of hollywood squares. But that's what you do.
与其说是复活节晚宴 不如说我是在主持一场好莱坞广场的非名人重启活动 但是 只能这样了
Easter is a tough one during a pandemic.
流行病期间很难过上一个开心的复活节
You know every two minutes, we're telling our kids to wash their hands.
你知道 每隔两分钟 我们就会叫孩子们去洗手
And all of a sudden we're like: Yes, go ahead and eat those jelly beans you found under a bush.
突然我们就想开了：好吧 去吃你在灌木丛下捡到的那些糖豆吧
Our five-year-old jane told my wife, for real, I promise if I see the easter bunny I won't hug him.
我们五岁的女儿简对我的妻子说：“我发誓 如果我看到复活节兔子 我会忍住不抱它。”
So some lifelong psychological traumas are definitely being formed here.
所以说 这可能会给孩子造成某种终生的心理创伤
I will say that as a parent, easter makes you realize what a solid backstory santa claus has.
我想说 作为一个家长 复活节让你意识到圣诞老人背后的故事有多强大
Santa lives at the north pole. He has elves who make toys. He flies around what reindeer.
圣诞老人住在北极 他有制作玩具的精灵 他围着什么驯鹿飞来飞去
My kids asked where the easter bunny lived?
我的孩子们问我复活节兔子住在哪里
I was like: I don't know. The sewer?
我就说：我也不知道 大概是下水道吧
This is good. This is what the easter bunny was up to in New Jersey yesterday.
这个答案很棒 这就是复活节兔子昨天出现在新泽西的目的
Sorry kids. Everything you believe is a lie.
抱歉宝贝 你所相信的一切都是谎言
It looks like the president has another enemy inside his administration.
总统的行政内部貌似出现了另外一个敌人
And unfortunately, that enemy is Dr. Anthony Fauci.
不幸的是 那位敌人是安东尼·福奇博士
Dr. Anthony Fauci was on CNN with jake tapper yesterday.
安东尼·福奇博士昨天接受了CNN记者杰克·塔珀的采访
Jake asked him if casualties could have been prevented, had the social distancing and stay-at-home orders been put in place sooner,
杰克问他：如果社会疏离措施和在家隔离措施早些实施 死亡是否可以避免
and the answer was not exactly what Trump wants to hear. His people saying:
答案并不是特朗普想听到的 他说
I mean obviously, you could logically say that if you had a process that was ongoing and you started mitigation earlier, you could have saved lives.
我的意思是 很显然 从逻辑上说 如果情况正在恶化 你能即时采取缓解措施 那么肯定可以挽救很多生命
Obviously, no one is gonna deny that.
这是没人能够反驳的事实
Well, the president...the president is definitely gonna deny that.
嗯 总统……总统肯定会反驳的
Trump was obviously not pleased. He retweeted a post that included the hashtag "Time to fireFauci".
特朗普很明显不开心了 他转发了一篇帖子 帖子的标签是“是时候解雇福奇了”
Every time someone tells the truth, he gets mad. Is that a good sign?
一有人说真话特朗普就闹脾气 这样真的好吗
This tweet was written by a woman who is the author of a dating guide called "Making love great again",
这条推特是一位女士发的 她是一本名为《让爱再次伟大》的约会指南的作者
which sounds like a text Trump would send his doctor after getting his cialis prescription refilled-making love great again.
这名字听起来就像特朗普在服用了西力士(治疗男性性功能障碍)的处方之后 会给他的医生发的一条短信：让爱再次勃起
The spokesperson for the white house said: The media chatter is ridiculous and that Trump is not firing Dr. Fauci.
白宫发言人说：媒体的传言很荒谬 特朗普没有解雇福奇博士
So he is definitely firing Dr. Fauci.
所以肯定在准备解雇福奇博士喽
If Dr. Fauci wants to keep his job, he'd better find a way to blame this virus on Hunter Biden and quick.
如果福奇博士想保住工作 他最好想个办法把病毒归咎于亨特·拜登(乔·拜登之子) 而且动作要快
Maybe he wouldn't be so bad though if Trump fired Dr. Fauci, I mean I for one might enjoy seeing daily updates from Dr. Fauci exotic.
或许即使特朗普解雇了福奇博士 他的日子也不会很糟糕 我是说 我可能会喜欢追福奇博士每日更新的日常也说不定
On march 24th, which was less than three weeks ago, the president said he expected the country to be back up and running by easter.
3月24日 也就是不到三周前 总统说他希望国家能在复活节前全面恢复经济
But here's the thing. He didn't say which easter. Maybe he meant next year or the year after that.
不过问题来了 他没有说具体是哪年的复活节 也许说的是是明年呢 或者后年也说不定
Trump has no idea when the country will be open for business again, but that doesn't stop reporters from continually asking when the country will be open again.
特朗普并不知道美国什么时候能恢复经济 不过这并不妨碍记者们一天到晚地追问
I want to get it open as soon as we can. We have to get our country open jeff.
我想让国家尽快恢复 美国必须尽快恢复 杰夫
Say sir, what metrics you used to make that decision?
我说先生 您是依据什么这么说的呢
Uh the metrics right here. That's my metrics.
呃 依据在这里 这就是我的依据
His tanning bronzer is as metrics?
他那古铜色的脸可以作为依据吗
If my face is orange, the country will stay closed. But if we see it shifted tangerine, game on.
(特朗普的意思是)如果我的脸是橙色的 那么美国要继续隔离 如果它变成了橘红色 那么隔离结束
And while it would undoubtedly be dangerous to let people go back to work prematurely.
虽然让人们过早复工无疑是有风险的
The president seems convinced we're gonna die either way.
不过总统的意思是我们早晚都是个死
I just want to say that you know you talked about...couldn't it lead to death, meaning you open up could lead to death, and you're right.
我只想说 你谈到……(居家隔离)不会致命 就是说复工会致命 你说得对
But you know what? Staying at home leads to death also.
不过你知道吗 待在家里也会致命
Maybe you've seen the movie "A Nightmare on Elm Street"?
或许你是看过电影《猛鬼街》？
Freddie gets a whole do. You're right in bed. You're done.
弗雷迪有很多事情要做 而你只是躺在床上就完事了
Meanwhile in the effort to and the era of Trump senator Bernie Sanders today officially endorsed Joe Biden in a joint livestream.
与此同时 在各方努力下 参议员伯尼·桑德斯今天在一次联合直播中正式公开表示支持乔·拜登
And that's a very powerful message for the country: If two eighty year old men can successfully log into a zoom meeting. Anything is possible.
这对美国来说是一大喜事：如果连两个80岁的老人都学会了使用Zoom(云视频会议软件)软件 那么一切皆有可能
Sanders said that while he and Biden have real differences, and they're not going to paper over them.
桑德斯表示 虽然他和拜登有确切的分歧 不过他们不会用纸擦掉(掩盖掉)
They need that paper for the bathroom.
因为纸要用来擦屁股
He will do everything he can to help Joe in the election.
他会竭尽所能帮助乔竞选
I'm asking every democrat...i'm asking every independent...i'm asking a lot of republicans...
我请求每一个民主党人 我请求每一个人 我请求那些个共和党人
to come together in this campaign to support your candidacy,...endorse.
在这次竞选中能够团结起来 支持你的候选人
All right Jack. Thank you very much.
好的杰克 非常感谢
Chuck, no, no.
查克 哦 不 哦 不
Well, now all the democrats have to do between now and November is keep Joe Biden in a mylar bag like they do with vintage comic books.
嗯 从现在一直到11月份 民主党人要做的就是把乔·拜登装在密拉袋子里 就像他们处理老式漫画书那样
Schools have been closed for a month now and a lot of students are finishing the year online,
学校已经停课一个月了 很多学生都是在网上完成了这一年的课程学习
which means a lot of parents are suddenly in the seventh and eighth grade again.
这意味着很多家长突然要再上一回上七年级和八年级了
Every parent, I know, is complaining about having to algebra, geometry, social studies.
每个家长 我深有体会 都在抱怨要上代数、几何和社会课程
All those things we be asked our way through the first time around...our back to bite us on the home school ask.
我们最初都是从“路程问题”一路熬过来的 那种“家到学校的路程”问题简直让我们发疯
But fortunately, help is here. Our very own Guillermo is very good at this sort of thing.
不过幸运的是 帮手来了 我们的吉列尔莫非常擅长做这种题
Not too many people know, Guillermo scored a perfect sixteen hundred on his SAT.
没有多少人知道 吉列尔莫在SAT考试中得了满分1600分
So grab your children, because here he is now, your tv tutor, it's time for a "Homework Corner".
所以拉上你的孩子 因为吉列尔莫现在就在这里 你的电视老师 我们的“功课角”时间到
Hello and welcome to "Homework Corner" with Guillermo.
大家好 欢迎来到吉列尔莫的“功课角”
Today's problem: East a car travels at 65 miles per hour. How far you will travel in 90 minutes?
今天的题目是：一辆汽车以每小时65英里的速度向东行驶，90分钟后行驶了多少英里？
Okay. So I think...
好的 我觉得……
A car travel a 16 miles and...okay you get 65 miles and 90 minutes. Okay?
一辆汽车行驶了16英里……好的 我们有65英里和90分钟 对吧
Well, I think you should not be driving right now, because of the corona virus. So it stayed home.
好吧 我觉得现在开车出去不太合适 因为外面有新冠病毒 所以还是待在家里吧
That's right. Who can argue with that.
是的 真是不容反驳呢
