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Welcome to the HBR IdeaCast from Harvard Business Review. I’m Alison Beard.
欢迎来到来自《哈佛商业评论》的HBR IdeaCast。我艾莉森比尔德。
I wish I didn’t worry about what other people think.
我希望我不担心别人怎么想。
I regret pretending to be less smart than I actually am simply to please others.
我后悔为了取悦别人而假装自己没那么聪明。
I regret following a career path for money instead of for my passion.
我后悔我的职业道路是为了钱而不是因为我的激情。
I regret putting my life on display for so long on social media.
我后悔把自己的生活在社交媒体上展示了这么久。
I wish I tried harder to foster deeper relationships with my work colleagues.
我希望我能更努力地与同事建立更深厚的关系。
I regret ignoring my inner voice and not heeding its plea to be more adventurous, like moving country or changing job when the boss sucks.
我后悔忽视了自己内心的声音，没有听从它让我变得更有冒险精神的请求，比如当老板很差劲时，我就搬到另一个国家或换工作。
I regret not being kinder. I was too concerned with being right.
我后悔没有更友好一些，我太在乎对与错了。
I regret every big decision I’ve ever made.
我后悔做过的每一个重大决定。
In case you hadn’t guessed, today’s episode is all about regrets.
也许你还没有猜到，今天的节目是关于后悔的。
Why we have them the most common kinds and how to not only get past them, but maybe also harness them for good.
为什么我们的“后悔”这么普遍呢，如何克服它们并且利用它们呢？
So, let’s start with the basics. What is regret and why do we humans feel it so very often?
那么，让我们从最基本的开始。什么是后悔？为什么我们经常会有这种感觉?
Two very important questions.
两个很重要的问题。
So regret is an emotion.
后悔是一种情绪。
It’s a negative emotion and it’s a backward-looking emotion.
这是一种消极的情绪，是一种向后看的情绪。
So we feel bad when we look backward and say to ourselves, if only, that’s the catchphrase, if only I had decided differently, taken a different path, the present would be better.
当我们回顾过去，就像标语一样对自己说，如果我当初能做出不同的决定，走一条不同的道路，现在会更好，有这样的想法的同时我们会感觉很糟糕。
And so it involves this incredible ability of us to travel through time in our heads, to negate what really happened and re-imagine a present based on that negated past.
所以它包含了穿越时空的不可思议的能力，否定真实发生的事情，并基于被否定的过去重新想象现在。
It’s crazy.
非常疯狂。
I mean, it’s incredibly cognitively sophisticated.
我的意思是，这是非常复杂的认知。
Now it’s also ubiquitous.
现在它也无处不在。
Everybody has regrets.
每个人都有后悔的时刻。
It’s one of the most common emotions that we have.
这是我们最常见的情绪之一。
And you have to wonder why something that is so aversive that it hurts is also so common.
你一定会想，为什么这种令人厌恶的、令人痛苦的东西也如此常见。
And I think the answer to that is pretty clear.
我认为这个问题的答案很清楚。
It’s because regret, when we treat it right, is useful, it can help us.
因为当我们正确对待后悔时，它是有用的，它能帮助我们。
I get evolutionarily why something like anxiety and negative emotion would be helpful because you’re thinking about the future and that’s helping you prepare for it.
我从进化的角度理解了为什么焦虑和消极情绪会有帮助，因为你在思考未来，这有助于你为未来做好准备。
Why is regret also helpful when in most cases you can’t change the past?
为什么在大多数情况下，你无法改变过去的时候，后悔也是有帮助的呢?
Because we can learn from the past. Because it provides guidance to us.
因为我们可以从过去学习。因为它为我们提供了指导。
And I think that it’s a really, really important question you’re asking there because we sometimes fall prey to the idea that we should never look backward, always gaze forward to the future, always be positive and looking backward is dangerous and that’s wrong.
我认为这是一个非常非常重要的问题，因为我们有时会被这样的观念所迷惑：我们永远不应该回顾过去，永远要展望未来，永远要积极向上，而回顾过去是危险的，而那是错误的。
Looking backward is one way that we learn.
回顾过去是我们学习的一种方式。
It’s actually an incredibly important way that we learn.
这实际上是我们学习的一种非常重要的方式。当我们正确处理遗憾时，它有两个非常强大的属性。
And when we process regret properly, it has two very powerful attributes.
当我们正确处理遗憾时，它有两个非常强大的属性。
One is that it clarifies what matters to us.
是它阐明了对我们来说什么是重要的。
When a regret lingers that tells us something.
当遗憾出现时，告诉了我们一些事情。
If you make a mistake and a week later, you don’t care about it or you take an action.
如果你犯了一个错误，一个星期后，你不关心它或采取行动。
And a week later, two weeks later, a month later, you don’t care about it, that tells you something too.
一周后，两周后，一个月后，你不关心它，这也告诉你一些事情。
But the regrets that linger with you are clarifying.
但萦绕在你心头的遗憾会让你明白。
They tell you what matter, what’s more, they instruct you how to do better in the future.
它们告诉你什么是重要的，更重要的是，它们指导你如何在未来做得更好。
