Maggie: I got it this time. New York City.
Jason: Would you stop it.
Maggie: Oh honey, if it's any consolation, I don't know which island in Hawaii we are on.
Jason: I'm never surprising you again.
Maggie: I'm taking my mask off now.
Jason: Why, you already know where we are.
Maggie: We are going Kayaking?
Jason: No Maggie, we are going camping.
Maggie: Really!
Jason: Yeah.
Maggie: We always talked about this. Two beach bums in paradise.
Jason: It's like we have the whole island to ourselves.
Maggie: Oh (Crying) Oh Jason.
Jason: Honey, what's wrong.
Maggie: Everything.

Jason: Honey.
Maggie: Ok, I'm fine. Let's go.
Jason: But uh, you were crying.
Maggie: I know. I'm sorry. I got carried away. Come on, let's have fun fun fun.
Jason: Sweetheart, it's alright to grieve.
Maggie: Yes doctor.
Jason: You know I remember when my dad died.
Maggie: Honey, I remember. I was there.
Jason: Maggie, you can't hide your feelings.
Maggie: Jason, do I look like an unhappy person?
Jason: Yeah.
Maggie: Well I'm not.
Jason: I don't believe you.
Maggie: Jason, we have flown all the way to Hawaii. Can't we at least enjoy it?
Jason: Of course sweetheart. Look I want you to know if there is anything at all bothering you,
anything, please I want you to talk to me.
Maggie: Will you quit being so nice. I don't deserve it.
Jason: What do you mean you don't deserve it?
Maggie: Nothing, nothing. Just drive.
Jason: I'd be doing you a disservice if I let you duck the feelings you've been having about
your dad.
Maggie: I'm not feeling what I should be feeling. Ok?

Ben: We are supposed to eat this? It looks like something a dog coughed up.
Chrissy: I'm ordering pizza.
Mike: Hey look. I spent the last two hours boiling this garbage. Now nobody leaves until every
last liver burger is gone.
Ben: Ok.
Mike: Hey.
Ben: We want extra cheese and pepperoni on that pizza?
Mike: Alright pal you have gone too far this time. No more telephone for you until mum and
dad get home.
Ben: I don't have to put up with this. I'm taller than you.
Carol: Mike, he's testing you. You have to draw the line.
Chrissy: Or grow.
(Mike and Ben fight)
Chrissy: Yeah! Ben! Ben Ben!
Ben: Watch your elbows.
Mike: This is hurting me a lot more than it's hurting you. One day you are going to thank me
for this.
Ben: You sound just like mum.
Mike: Oh yeah. Well does mum do this? Yeah, how do you like that hu?
Ben: You can't pin me down all night long.
Mike: You are right. Carol, bring me a rope.

Jason: Honey, dinner is ready. Come on. Sit over here and take a load off.
Maggie: I'm sorry I got upset.
Jason: Na. It's me who should apologise, not you.
Maggie: What for?
Jason: For not bringing underwear. This wasn't like the other times. This was an honest
mistake.
Maggie: Well that's very sweet, but don't worry. I'm wearing yours. What is for dinner?
Jason: Marshmallows.
Maggie: That's it?
Jason: I'm sorry, I was a little distracted today. I didn't get to the market.
Maggie: Oh. I've ruined our whole vacation. Haven't I?
Jason: Na. I got lots of marshmallows.
Maggie: Remember what a terrible time we had the last time we went camping?
Jason: We had a great time.
Maggie: No no no. I'm talking about when Ben and Mike and Carol were babies and Mike had
diarrhea and it rained and everything got all wet.
Jason: I'm talking about the same trip.
Maggie: Well what was so nice about that?
Jason: We were together Maggie. And it was so sweet watching you with Mike. Rocking him in
your arms until he fell asleep. Which he never did.
Maggie: I'd forgotten all about that. Wasn't it just last week?
Jason: No. That was me you rocked last week.
Maggie: I'd be lucky to get a minute with him nowadays.
Jason: They grow up in a hurry, don't they?
Maggie: You know how we sound like? We sound like our parents talking.
Jason: Well the eon enjoy that I get in all this is that one day, Mike and Carol and Ben and
Chrissy are all going to be sitting around a campfire like this, suddenly dumbstruck at the very
thought that they are sounding like old irrelevant us. Ha ha ha. You ok?
Maggie: I want to tell you what I meant today when I said I wasn't feeling the right feelings.
Jason: Uh hu. Ok.
Maggie: You now the day of his funeral? When I saw daddy there in that coffin, I thought, I
thought what a shame.
Jason: Of course sweetheart. He's your father.
Maggie: No that's not what I mean. I thought...
Jason: What?
Maggie: Well I thought about all the work and the care he's put into raising me and in the end
I...
Jason: What honey?
Maggie: It's a horrible thought.
Jason: Well just say it.
Maggie: I didn't need him anymore. I mean sure I loved him and I miss him terribly but
honestly. How much a part of my life was he? I mean, I never listened to his advice. His
opinions were always nutty. Sometimes it was just easier to ignore him. I mean god help me, I
loved it when he sat at the kids table on thanksgiving.
Jason: Honey, that's no reason to feel guilty. That's just the way things work. Like we were
saying about mike when he was a little baby. How he needed every word you had to say. Now
we've created someone who doesn't listen to anything we say. We've done our job well.
Maggie: Oh Jason. Don't you see? One day it's going to be our turn. I mean some day we'll die
and one of our kids will be sitting here telling someone about how you and I weren't important
to their lives either. I mean after all the work we've put in. After all the bottles and the dirty
diapers and the birthdays and the vacations. I mean, they won't mean a thing. What's the
point?
Jason: If that's what's bothering you, then it's not just your dad.
Maggie: If that sweet caring man ended up with someone like me, what do I have to hope for?
Jason: Aren't you being just a little pessimistic?
Maggie: Am I?
Jason: I mean it Maggie. Come on. You influence your kids in a thousand ways. Mike's charm
and Carol's brains and Chrissie's cuteness and Ben's....height.
Maggie: This doesn't bother you at all. Does it?
Jason: No. No.
Maggie: Jason, that really ticks me off.
Jason: Have you ever noticed the way I toast a marshmallow?
Maggie: Yeah and that really ticks me off too.
Jason: I do it, Maggie, perfect. All nice and even and brown on all sides. You know who else
toasts his marshmallows that way?
Maggie: No.
Jason: My dad. I noticed that just a couple of years ago. And that one small connection
Maggie, made me see that my dad influenced me in countless ways. Ways I cant even imagine.
Just like your dad influenced you and just like we will influence our kids.
Maggie: You know what my dad would say if he heard you talking like this?
Jason: No. But I'm sure you do.
Maggie: I wish I could be sure.

Mike: Freeze Ben!
Carol: You slept down here?
Mike: Sleep! Who slept? I've been standing guard so the little weasel wouldn't sneak out.
Where's Chrissy?
Carol: Safe. She's locked in her room.
Mike: Good. You locked her up too?
Carol: No. She locked herself in.
Mike: Well I'm just sorry I've got to let Bennie out for school.
Carol: Well I hope you nailed his window shut so he didn't climb down the trellis.
Mike: Oh!
Taxi driver: Let's go. Meters running.
Carol: We didn't order a cab.
Taxi Driver: Chrissy Seaver. Drop off at Parkway preschool.
Chrissy: That's right. Let's go.
Carol: You called a cab? Why in the world did you do that? I drive you to preschool. A cab
driver is not going to sing you songs and he's not going to tell you personal victory stories.
Chrissy: I know. I checked. Let's go!
Ben: Hi mum. I'm home.
Carol: Look, I am really sorry, but this has been a mistake. She is only four years old.
Mike: Alright. I'm going to kill him. You!
Taxi Driver: You kids married too young!
Ben: You got another ticket Mike.
Mike: What?
Ben: Yeah. You are lucky the driver of the car you hit didn't press charges.
Mike: Alright, you are going to pay a lot more than money pal.
Ben: What are you doing? Ow.
Mike: I'm coming for you. You have had it.
Chrissy: No!
All kids: (Screaming and fighting)

Jason: Hey. Hey!
Mike: Welcome home.
Jason: Let him go.
Chrissy: Mummy! Am I glad to see you?
Carol: Mum, I am so glad you are home early.
Maggie: Well paradise wasn't all it's cracked up to be.
Jason: Anybody want to help me with the bags?
Chrissy: Carol tried to maul me. And Mike tried to give us liver poisoning.
Carol: Mum, I don't know who you put up with her. Especially after you did such a good job
with me.
Ben: Rope burns mum. Rope burns. Need I say more? And then he even told me that this was
hurting him more than it was hurting me and some day I'd thank him for it.
Maggie: That's what I say.
Ben: Yeah. He's gone nuts.
Maggie: Mike, did you say that?
Mike: Look, I opened my mouth and it came out.
Maggie: It just came out?
Mike: Yeah. Well you put it there.
Maggie: Yeah.
Ben: More bad news mum. Mike even tried to charge me money to behave. Yeah. I was
shocked too.
Maggie: I don't care.
Chrissy: And worse than that, Carol's victory stories have made me want to give up
completely.
Maggie: Oh that's wonderful.
Carol: Mum, I don't know how you put up with any of them. I mean one day they are going to
realise how great you are and what festering scum they are.
Maggie: Oh Carol. Sometimes you say the sweetest things