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Loudspeaker: Ben Seaver get your hollow head in here!
Mr. Dewitt: M-i-s-t-e-r Seaver? Do you think that I'm a fool?
Ben: Sir, I was just repeating what everyone else was saying.
Mr. Dewitt: Oh, don't smart-mouth me. You have requested an application for the advanced placement exam. What are you planning to do? Stage a fake fire drill? Fire a smoke bomb? Hire a stripper?
Ben: Sir, if I could afford a stripper, I like…
Ben: I am not playing anything. I signed from the test because I really wanna take it.
Mr. Dewitt: Hold you promise. You expect me to believe that you, Ben Seaver, are college bound?
Ben: Yes! I am, that's why I wanna take the test.
Mr. Dewitt: But Mr. Seaver, you're a pathetic student. And the only person with worse grades than you is that kid who got hit by lightning.
Ben: Sure I am doing much better than Sparky!?
Ben: Please, check my grades!
Mr. Dewitt: A three point O (3.0)?
Mr. Dewitt: Ms. Dexter, put down that bottle. Someone has cracked the computer security code.
Ben: All I've been cracking are these books, if you don't believe me, please ask my teachers.
Mr. Dewitt: Lachaim!
Mr. Dewitt: Well, yeah, Mr. Seaver, I am going to give you the application for the exam… But if I find out that you've been tampering with your grades…
Ben: Sir, I haven't tampered with anything! I swear that I Ben Seaver am a 3.0 student. Believe me!
Carol: Brianne! What are you doing?
Brianne: Carol, I'm tired of being selfish, I have made a decision that will change both of our lives!
Carol: You're gonna pick up your toe nails after you clipped them?
Brianne: No! I finally realize this time I give a little back. So I am talking a job in Africa.
Carol: You are going to work in a third world country?
Brianne: I'm not sure what number it is.
Carol: Well, will you be working in hospitals? Building homes? Farming?
Brianne: Better: I'll be teaching low-impact aerobics at a Club made in Senegal!
Carol: Brianne, I don't know what to say?
Brianne: Oh, you're gonna miss me!
Carol: That hardly describes it!
Brianne: I got a plane to catch!
Carol: Brianne, I will never forget you!
Brianne: Don't you cry. Oh I'll be strong.
Carol: It's over! She's gone! L-ladies and gentlemen, Brianne has l-e-f-t the building.
Luke: Hey what's shaking?
Ben: I am playing a game of hide-n-eat with Chrissy.
Luke: Isn't it hide and seek?
Ben: Well, you play your way I'll play mine.
Luke: The advanced placement exam. Whooo smart guy!
Ben: Keep it down, I don't want mom and dad to know. If I fail, nobody will be the wiser.
Mike: Hey guys, where is dad? I need to hit him up for a loan before he meets with his account.
Jason: Do you think I am made of money?
Mike: Phew. Too late…
Carol: You guys will never guess what happened. Brianne moved out and I am gonna be alone for the rest of this semester.
Mike: Carol wake up, you're gonna be alone for the rest of your life.
Carol: You guys can laugh if you want but I am here to pack up and leave this place forever. You've seen this face for the last time.
Luke: Does anyone wanna feel that one?
Mike: Great, we will play numb! May I remind you that Carol is very important to us?
Luke: Er, You're right, she is your sister.
Mike: Well, to heck with that, she's got a room that you could have.
Carol: Absolutely, it's yours! Carol does not live here anymore.
Mike: Great. Hey you better get the car, we'll just throw your jacket out the window.
Luke: This is great, as soon as I get back from the library I am moving in.
Chrissy: I think you never find me.
Ben: I think so, too.
Chrissy: Ok, Ben. Now turn to you hide.
Ben: Oooh, really? Oooh, coats!
Chrissy: Ten, twenty, thirty, thirty, thirty, hundred! Aw, I am not falling for that.
CPA: I realize I am a licensed CPA, but I'll try to explain it in layman's terms: If you don't send bills you don't get paid!
Jason: Well, Carol used to input my data on computer, now she's away at college.
CPA: Can't one of your other kids help?
Jason: Ugh yeah, Mike's too busy, Chrissy's five, and Ben, he's a sweet kid but let's face it, he's no Einstein.
Jason: Oh, you're driving a Lamborghini?
CPA: I am not behind in my billings.
Jason: Can I honk the horn?
Chrissy: Alright he wouldn't. He might?! This is where I hid! How stupid can you be?
Ben: Ask dad.
Mike: Hello, excuse me. Can I help you?
Dwight: I was just admiring the pitch of your roof. It's been said, people have been stating up there all this time.
Mike: Uhm, believe it or not, you're the first! Hehe, uh, are you a uh roofer?
Dwight: Oh no! It's only a hobby.
Mike: I see.
Dwight: I am your new neighbour! Do you know the neo-Victorian House?
Mike: The what?
Dwight: With the renaissance influence!
Mike: What're you talking 'bout?
Dwight: This tree, three houses down…
Mike: Oh! Oh, uh, I um, a little advice, if you ever order pizza, just give'em your address.
Dwight: hahaha.
Mike: Hehehe, let me take a wild shot, you're a friend of Carol's right?
Dwight: Carol? Carol? Uh-haah , ooooooooh, I can say that name for hours.
Mike: Well, please don't, uh, I just ate. Ok?
Mike: Hey, Go down, the librarian!
Carol: Dwight?
Dwight: Ru-hoo. You're still the prettiest girl I've ever seen.
Carol: Dwight, where did you come from?
Dwight: This tree, three houses down…
Carol: The neo-Victorian House with the renaissance influence?
Dwight: Yes! I rented a month ago to be near you while I work on my PhD in medieval studies.
Carol: But we have not even spoken since the dance of the Catskills.
Dwight: Don't you remember that I told you then that I'd be moving to Long Island so that we could be together!
Carol: You said, "See you around!"
Dwight: Right, and then the next day I moved here.
Carol: You moved here a month ago to be near me, and this is the first time that you've come over?
Dwight: I didn't wanna appear to forward.
Carol: Wow. You know, nobody has ever changed their zip code for me.They probably went out the door for me. I don't know what to say!
Dwight: I knew it. I am arsing you. Pushee pushee pushee! I'll come back next month!
Carol: No, wait, I think it's sweet! And I'm glad you tracked me down.
Dwight: Groovy, hehe.
Dwight: Would you like to come to my house and listen to some Gagarian Chants?
Carol: You have them on CD?
Dwight: No, I sign them.
Carol: Groovy.
Ken: Hey, yo, Ben, What's up?
Ben: Nothing.
Ken: You look like you fell outta your twin bubble-a-zaggin. Did you know I got this study guide for advance placement exam and it's not as hard as we thought, listen to this:
Ken: Three boys share three quart canteen of oar. If the first boy drinks twice as much as the other two what do they each gain.
Ben: A mouth full of backwash.
Ken: What's with you? Yesterday you were all pumped up about taking the test.
Ben: Yeah, well, that was before I played hide-n-seek.
Luke: Okay, first time we'll move all the killed-stuff animals to the attic, I am gonna get rid of all those dead flowers, and then we are gonna get one of those pictures of dogs playing poker.
Mike: Oooh, oooh, oooh, don't get too light, I need a birthday present for Kate.
Mike: Hey, hehe, guys, what's this?
Black Dude: This is my ticket to a good university, I don't wanna end up Alf Landen Junior College. You know their entrance exam is guessing the number of beans in a jar!
Luke: Um, Mike, quit the Alf Landen.
Mike: For your information, that bean thing isn't half as easy as it sounds!
Ben: Teet-eet!
Jason: Hey guys, I could use some assistance for firewood.
Mike: Sorry no can do, Luke and I got a few minutes to get Carol's room.
Jason: Oh Ben, could pick four or five good dry logs please?
Jason: Ken, you wanna come in for some hot chocolate?
Ken: Oh no thank you Dr. Seaver I gotta go home, and study.
Jason: Awww, study, but to my boys study is just a room where Mrs. Peacock killed girl Mustard with a lead pipe.
Ken: Well, you wanna get together and review this tomorrow?
Ben: We'll see.
Carol: (chuckles) We can't believe we just spent the last six hours together!
Dwight: I know I know it only seemed like two hours and thirty eight minutes!
Carol: It's amazing how much we have in common. I can't believe somebody actually knows all the presidents' birth stones.
Dwight: I have to be honest with you; Millard Fillmore's Turquoise was just a lucky guess.
Dwight: Carol, I've never felt such an intense connection with anyone else before. I am on fire.
Carol: Me too. I can feel the electricity flowing through my body. I can't wait another minute. (smooch)
Dwight: Oh-hoo.
Carol: Me too.
Dwight: From now on, this will be our drive-way. Can we meet right here tomorrow?
Carol: Oh no! I just packed up all my stuff for them to give-away, I am telling my family they'd never see me again. To-mo-rrow it is.
