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Hey, that's our show!
嘿，今天的节目开始了
Join us tomorrow night at 11:00.
请在明天11点收看我们的节目
Now, I would imagine as this show is airing, there may be information out there right now
因为现在是直播，有些东西
that the audience might not be aware of, so I will just tell you.
也许其他的观众还不知道，我就直接告诉你们好了
Doug Herzog and Michelle Gainless of comedy central gave me an incredible opportunity
喜剧中心的道格·赫尔佐格和米歇尔·吉利斯17年前给了我这个绝佳的机会
17 years ago to pilot this wonderful franchise.
让我来试着主持这档精彩的节目
And I—17 years is the longest I have ever in my life held a job by 16 years and 5 months.
而我——17年是我一生中做同一份工作的最长的时间，应该是16年零5个月
Thank you!
谢谢你们
The upshot there being, I am a terrible employee.
结果证明，我不是个好员工
But in my heart, I know, it is time for someone else to have that opportunity.
但在我心里，我知道，是时候把这个机会让给别人了
No! No!
不要！别走！
I told you they didn't know.
我说了别人还不知道
You probably know.
你们也许知道
Not right away.
我不是马上走
It's going to be—you know, we're still working out details.
我们会——我们还在讨论一些细节
I'm up in September.
我九月份离开
Might be around then, might be December, might be July, we're still working out details.
也可能是九月份前后，可能是十二月份，可能是七月，我们还在商量细节
I don't have any specific plans.
具体计划还没出来
Got a lot of ideas.
但是我有很多想法
I got a lot of things in my head.
脑子里面有很多事
I'm going to have dinner on a school night with my family,
比如我会在一个学生有课的晚上跟家里人吃个饭，
who I have heard from multiple sources are lovely people.
我从很多人那里听说他们人都很好
You know, I'm not going to be here and try and sum up what this place has meant to me over the years,
我不会在这里试着总结这个地方这些年来对我意味着什么，
but I couldn't do that and we have plenty of time
我不能这么做，我们还有很多时间，
and I've got a myriad of people to thank and we'll get to that over time.
有很多人要感谢时间长了这些东西我们自然会知道
I'm not going anywhere tomorrow.
我明天哪里也不会去
But this show doesn't deserve an even slightly restless host and neither do you.
这个节目不值得让一个稍微有点焦躁的主持人留下，你们也不要这样想
I don't think I'm going to miss being on television every day.
我应该不会想念每天上电视的日子
I'm going to miss coming here every day.
但我会想念每天都到这里来的日子
And this is where—I love the people here.
这里是——我爱这里的人
They're the best. They're creative and collaborative and kind.
他们是最好的 他们有创造力，很善于合作也很善良
And that's alliterative but it's cheating because it's a k, but you understand what I'm saying.
这不是每个人都有的品质，这么说是在欺骗你们，你们知道我什么意思
They're—I love them and respect them so much.
他们——我爱他们也尊敬他们
We love you, Jon! Yeah!
我们爱你，囧 耶
Anyway!
随便吧
Arrrrr! What is this fluid?
啊，这个液体是什么
What are these feelings?
这是什么感觉
Frankenstein angry!
科学怪人生气了
It's been an absolute privilege, it's been the honor of my professional life.
有这么一段职业生涯是我的荣幸
I thank you for watching it, for hating watching it.
感谢你们的观看，也感谢你们讨厌观看
Whatever reason you are tuning in for,
不管你们因为什么原因点进来，
you get in this business with the idea that maybe you have a point of view and something to express
你都是其中的一部分，也许你有一些观点想要表达，
and to receive feedback from that is the greatest feeling you could ask for, and I thank you.
或想得到反馈 这就是一种你能得到的很好的感觉，谢谢你们
