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Welcome back.
欢迎回来
Last week, we did—last week, I thought a very nice piece on the show
上周 我们——上周 我们在节目中放了一则新闻
about how Fox News wanted people to apologize for rushing to judgment on the Ferguson shooting of Michael Brown.
是关于福克斯新闻是怎样要求人们为急于批评弗格逊的迈克尔·布朗枪杀案道歉的
And so we I think quite cleverly drew an analogy to that and their rush to judgment on Benghazi, it was really quite droll.
这次我们机智的找到了一段福克斯急于批评班加西案的新闻来做对比 实在搞笑
Now while Fox never addressed our Benghazi point,
福克斯现在只字不提班加西事件
it appears now they're asking for more than an apology.
我估计他们想要的大概不止道歉而已
Pete Williams, to his credit, got that Boston marathon terror reporting dead on.
感谢皮特·威廉姆斯 他完全正确地报道了波士顿马拉松恐怖袭击事件
And the mainstream media hailed him as a hero for getting it right, which he did.
主流媒体因此把他当英雄一样称颂 他的确做得很好
Fox News got this case right.
但福克斯新闻也正确报道了这件事
Fox News, not just me.
是福克斯新闻 不仅仅是我一个人
Sean Hannity had a lot of segments, plus O'Reilly had a lot of segments, urging caution.
我们的肖恩·汉尼提拿到了资料 奥莱利也拿到了资料 他们需要大家的关注
Would the mainstream media ever hail them as heroes like we heard about Pete Williams?
而主流媒体会把它们当成英雄一样称颂吗 就像对待皮特·威廉姆斯一样
Yeah, why doesn't Fox get as much credit as—who's Pete Williams?
对呀 为什么福克斯新闻得到的赞赏不像——谁是皮特·威廉姆斯
Anyway, the point is, it wasn't the first time they got it right.
不管怎样 但重点是 这不是福克斯第一次正确报道了
I urged caution in the Duke coverage,
福克斯现在只字不提班加西事件
and in the Trayvon Martin coverage, and now this coverage.
对特雷沃恩的报道 以及这次报道
That's three times.
他们都已经正确报道三次了
They got it right three times in 10 years.
他们十年中就正确报道了三次
Those are solar eclipse numbers, people,
这可跟日食的次数一样了啊 朋友们
which I think is why it's recommended you only watch Fox through a tiny pinhole poked in a piece of cardboard.
我猜这也就是人们只推荐隔着一张有个针孔的纸板看福克斯新闻的原因了
You can't look directly at Fox.
因为福克斯简直不能直视啊
It will indelibly burn your soul.
它会彻底地烧毁你的灵魂
While of course the whole rush to judgment complaint is...
那些指责别人急于批评的话就是一坨屎
Fox is nothing but a rush to judgment in almost every situation. Okay.
福克斯自己就是不管发生什么事都最先批评的那个 好吧
You're the caution and sober reflection network.
就算你们是值得关注的 冷静的反映现实的媒体
But my favorite part of the piece was after 10 minutes of complaining
但我最喜欢的是这个女主播抱怨了10分钟
that no one would ever thank them, this.
也没有人想要感谢福克斯新闻的付出
If you are waiting for the mainstream media to say
如果你是在等主流媒体
not only that we were wrong in this racially charged case that resulted in so much violence in that town
说他们对这场种族问题导致的发生在这个镇上的暴力事件的报道错了
and to credit Fox News for being right,
以及他们要感谢福克斯新闻的正确报道的话
you're going to hold your breath a long time.
那你就等着吧
We don't care about them.
我们才不在意这些
Right, you don't care, in the same way my mom doesn't care if I ever call.
对啦 你们才不在意 就像我妈完全不在意我有没有给她打电话一样
Sure, call or not.
当然啦 随你打不打
I could just sit here and die.
反正我就坐这儿等死了
But the point is, the point is you were right,
但重点是 重点是你们的报道是正确的
and that is newsworthy when Fox is right.
这件事本身就值得报道了
And cause for celebration.
还有值得庆祝了
So to honor that time you were right, we got you a Fudgie the whale.
所以为了奖励你们正确的报道 我们准备了一个鲸鱼形状的冰淇淋
Because, you know why, we think you're a whale of a network!
因为我们觉得你们是一家了不起的（鲸鱼的）网站
In that we've been chasing you our whole lives and just can't kill you.
因为我们一生都在追逐你却杀不了你
But that's not all, Fox.
但这不是全部 福克斯
In honor of this singular achievement of you being right,
为了庆祝你们正确的报道
liberal Hollywood has something they'd like to say to you.
自由的好莱坞也有些话想对你们说
Hollywood.
好莱坞
I'm George Lucus and I'm here to assure you
我是乔治·卢克斯 我在此保证
that I am only going to make movies from now on that are blindly uncritical of America.
从此以后我只拍盲目表扬美国的电影
Like the Empire Strikes Back, justifiably.
比如 《帝国反击战》 合理吧
American Exceptionalism Graffiti.
《美国例外主义》
Star Wars, the Reagan missile defense version.
《星球大战》里根导弹防御版
And the Clinton Menace.
还有《克林顿威胁》
Fox News, may you live long and prosper.
福克斯新闻 祝你繁荣昌盛
Wait, I didn't write that, did I?
等会儿 这句不是我写的吧
Sorry. But the truth is this—
抱歉 但真相是这样的——
Fox, we can send you all the congratulatory messages and praise we can muster,
福克斯 我们本来要把所能想到的一切溢美之词都给你
but it's really just going to pale in comparison to how your biggest fans feel about you,
但是这些与你的粉丝们所说的相比 显得太苍白了
and so we had them tape some messages of congratulations as well.
所以我们剪辑了一些他们的祝福
Take a look.
一起来看
One network has transformed, reenvisioned and reinvented the way news is done.
有一家新闻网改变 修改 重新发明了报道新闻的方式
Fox is the dominant force in broadcast news today.
福克斯是新闻业的巨头
We're the only network that's telling the truth right now.
我们是如今唯一一家讲真话的媒体
It's the only place you can feel good about your country.
这是唯一一家让你为自己的国家自豪的媒体
You might learn something as opposed to just having your world view reinforced.
在这里看到的东西足以让你的世界观为之改变
We give you both sides.
我们让你们看到双方的观点
We give you all the stuff.
我们提供所有资讯
We're simply better than the opposition.
我们就是比对手要强
We keep kicking their ass every day in the ratings.
我们每天的点击率吊打别家
Number one. Number one.
第一 第一
Number one, that's us.
我们就是第一
Probably the most powerful news agency in the world right now.
也许是当今世界上最有力的新闻网
We're certainly covering it this morning.
我们今天上午就已经报道过
Thank you, Fox News.
谢谢你 福克斯新闻
You guy's, you're the best.
你们是最棒的
Thank god for outlets like Fox News.
感谢上帝赐给我们福克斯新闻
Thank god for Fox News.
感谢上帝赐给我们福克斯新闻
Thank god Fox News is on it.
感谢上帝 福克斯新闻报道了这件事
Thank god. Thank god. Thank god.
感谢上帝 感谢上帝 感谢上帝
God bless Fox News.
上帝保佑福克斯新闻
He clearly already has.
上帝已经这么做了
The great thing is I get it now.
我现在懂了
Your network launched in 1996, you're 18 years old,
福克斯创办于1996年 你们已经有18年的历史了
and just like every other 18-year-old,
所以才会像那些18岁的小孩子一样
you have a massive ego and spend 24 hours a day jerking yourself off.
每天都自信满满 自我高潮
