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Actually, you know what? I think I pulled something on that last joke.
那个笑话可能把我什么地方扭了一下。
I'm not sure I can go on, actually. But this is The Tonight Show.
我不确定是否能继续，但这是今夜秀。
We have to go on. I need someone to tag in for me. Anyone? Can someone tag in for me, please?
我们还要继续，所以我需要有人来替代我，有人可以替代我吗？
Oh, oh, hey. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you. Man. Thank you, thank you. Great guy. Thank you. I appreciate it.
谢谢大家，感谢大家，谢谢，非常感谢。
Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Very nice.
谢谢，非常谢谢。
I've been standing back there for nine months. Folks, sexual harassment,
我回来有九个月了，朋友们性骚扰，
sexual harassment, a big issue. People finally taking it seriously.
性骚扰是个大问题，人们这次真的认真了。
In fact, scientists at Northwestern University did a study about the differences between men's brains and women's brains.
来自西北大学的科学家做了一项研究，他们发现男女大脑有所不同。
This is fascinating. Listen to this. It seems women's brains are located in their head. I was...
这太有意思了，女人的大脑在脑子里，这这。
This explains a lot. And a lot of really talented and really accomplished actors have been accused of sexual harassment.
这解释了许多事情，许多很有才华的男演员被指控性骚扰。
Also, Steven Seagal. In fact, I was talking about this just yesterday with my Uber driver, Kevin Spacey.
其中包括史蒂文·西格尔，我昨天和我的优步司机凯文·斯贝斯谈论了这个问题。
That, we were talking about this... Just telling you. Yeah, we were talking about it.
我们谈论了这个问题，我们真的谈了。
Hey, and you know something? Hey. It's not, It's not just actors.
而且这个问题不仅牵扯演员。
Matthew Weiner, the creator of the hit show Mad Men. He's been accused.
电视剧《广告狂人》的创作人马修·韦纳也遭到了指控。
Let me tell you something, okay? When your last name is Weiner...
让我来告诉你，如果你的姓氏是韦纳，
just introducing yourself to people is sexual harassment.
你就把性骚扰这三个字介绍给别人就行了。
And, I'm sure you know, former Congressman Anthony Weiner is in jail.
你们一定知道前国会议员安东尼·韦纳被判监禁。
He's in jail for sexting an underage girl.
监禁原因是发送不良照片给女孩。
And what you might not know is, when he got caught, he actually called Bill Clinton to apologize.
我想你们应该知道，当他被抓时，他竟然打电话给比尔，让他来出面道歉。
See, that's when you know your life has gone off the rails.
这时你发现自己的人生出轨了。
When your sexual behavior offends Bill Clinton, okay. Ooh.
当你的性行为骚扰到了比尔时，好吧。
Matt Lauer, Matt Lauer fired from the Today Show. And Matt had to learn the hard way,
马特·劳尔，来自《今日秀》的劳尔被解雇了，他一定会为此付出代价，
when Al Roker says No, he means no. Exactly.
尤其是当阿尔·罗克说绝不时。
And Charlie Ro, How about Charlie Rose? Walking around naked in front of interns.
还有查理·罗斯，在实习生面前赤身裸体。
When did newsmen start behaving like this? I never met Walter Cronkite prancing around in front of Margaret Thatcher,
新闻人物现在怎么都这样了？我从来没见过沃尔特·克朗凯特在撒切尔面前蹦跶。
Take a look at that, Margaret. That's, And that's the way it is. You know what I'm saying?
来看看这个撒切尔，就是这样，你知道我在说什么吗？
But see, now, now people are discussing levels of sexual harassment. Like, on the low side of the scale,
如今人们谈论的是性骚扰的水平，比如低水平的性骚扰，
you get the guys that are just what I call sexually annoying, you know?
人们现在在谈什么性恼人？
Where everything a woman says has a sexual connotation. Like a woman might say, Bob, will you pass the salt?
如果女性说了关于性内涵的话题，就比如说比尔，你能把盐递给我吗？
I'll pass you salt. You know what I'm talking about! Yeah!
我把盐递给你，你知道我在说什么吧。
Then, the other side, you got Harvey Weinstein. Oh, my God. You've been following this guy?
再比如说哈维·韦恩斯坦，你们知道他吗？
He meets a woman in a hotel lobby, asks to go up to his room, she says no.
他在酒店大堂遇到一名女子，之后让她去他房间坐坐，她说不。
He then opens his pants and masturbates into a potted plant. Now, admittedly,
之后他解开了裤子，然后...承认吧，
I have been out of the dating game for a number of years. It's just hard to believe the protocol has changed that much.
我已经很多年都不约会了，我发现现在的玩法真是变了。
And I got to ask the women, has that ever worked? No!
我一定会问问这个女性，这样真的有用吗？不会！
A guy hits on you, you say no, he does that, and you go, Oh, what a fool I was!
你撞见一名男性，然后你说不，之后他这么做，然后你说我真是太傻了。
And how about Harvey? Has he thought it through? Let's say the woman did change her mind.
你们知道哈维吗？他真的想通了吗？女性的观点现在改变了。
The man is 65 years old. By the time he was done with the potted plant,
这个男的今年65岁了，等他完成以后，
sweetheart, you're gonna have to come back tomorrow. Exactly, But, hey, Hey, you know, Hey.
亲爱的，你要等到明天早上了，你知道吗。
Luckily... Luckily those are just media types and Hollywood people.
幸运的是，这些都是媒体和好莱坞明星。
Can you imagine what our country would be like if the President of the United States acted like that? Oh, my...
你能想象如果我们的总统做了这些事情，老天。
As you know, President Trump allegedly paid a porn star 130,000 dollars to cover up their affair.
据称小特给成人电影明星支付了13万美金，以此遮住他的丑事。
If that turns out to be true, it'd be the first time Trump has fully compensated somebody for all the work they did.
如果这是真的，那么这是小特第一次为自己的行为买单。
That's what I'm talking about. Jay, thank you for helping me. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.
谢谢您，杰·雷诺，谢谢。
Thank you for helping me, Jay Leno. Thank you for helping me.
杰·雷诺，谢谢您，谢谢您。
