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We live in a world where the idea of love is fed by a 'Happily Ever After'.
我们生活在一个“从此幸福快乐”的世界里。
Our perception of what should and should not be is completely skewed by what we have learned in media.
我们从媒体学到的东西彻底扭曲了我们对什么应该和什么不应该的看法。
The typical pattern of intense passion and emotions,
强烈的激情和情绪的典型模式，
a conflict that makes us fight for that God forsaken love and then the resolution of being together forever.
一场让我们为被上帝遗弃的爱而战的冲突，然后是永远在一起的决心。
We see any romantic or sexual interests outside of that relationship as immoral
我们将任何这种关系之外的恋情或性趣视为不道德
and that we must constrain ourselves for this one love for the rest of our lives.
我们必要约束自己，为了这份爱，为了我们的余生。
But is there such a thing as your one and only love? Is it not possible to love more than one soul?
但世界上真的有唯一的爱吗？有没有可能爱上几个灵魂？
This question has resulted in cheating, divorce, resentment, conflicts and a lot of lying.
这个问题会导致欺骗、离婚、愤恨、冲突和谎言。
Is monogamy the only way to be in a loving relationship?
一夫一妻制是恋爱的唯一方式吗？
More and more people are finding healthy relationships inside consensual, non-monogamous relationships.
越来越多的人在两厢情愿、非一夫一妻制的关系中找到了健康的关系。
In actuality, the cultures that only accept monogamous relationships are in the minority worldwide.
事实上，只接受一夫一妻制的文化在世界范围内是少数的。
According to a paper in the Journal of Evolutionary Biology, 83% of societies allow polygamy.
根据《Journal of Evolutionary Biology》中的一篇论文，83%的社会允许多配偶。
At Psych2Go, we're bringing you the '8 signs polyamory may be right for you'.
在本期节目中，我们将为大家带来《你适合多配偶制的8种迹象》。
The first sign is that you have always felt limited and confined in conventional relationships.
第一个迹象是你总感觉在传统关系中受限制。
It's not the person you're with that's making you feel confined, it's the situation.
并不是和你在一起的人让你感到受限制，而是这种情况。
Have you ever felt like you're no longer acting as an individual but always thinking about being faithful to your partner
你是否曾经觉得自己不再是一个独立的个体，而是总想着要对你的伴侣忠诚
and you can't help but think 'does this come from a place of love, freedom and security
并且你不禁会想：“这是来自一个充满爱、自由和安全的地方吗?
or does it come from a place of ownership, jealousy and fear?
或者来自一个占有、嫉妒和害怕的地方？
Sign number two is that you learn so much about yourself through others.
迹象二是你通过别人了解自己。
Relationships are fun, yes, but they're also incredible opportunities to learn and explore different aspects of yourself.
没错，恋爱很有趣，但是它们也是学习和探索你自己不同方面的机会。
Each person is a universe and both negative and positive experiences that we venture in with them
每个人都是一个宇宙，我们一起的消极和积极的经历
are a journey to learning and growing individually as a person.
是作为一个个体所学习和成长的旅程。
If you are limited to only one relationship, there may be aspects of yourself you are neglecting.
如果你将自己限制在一段恋情中，你可能忽略了自己的某些方面。
Sign number three is that you are the kind of person who feels energized by other people.
迹象三，你是那种被别人激励的人。
Does diving into experience with people outside of your primary relationship, nurture, energize and refresh you?
与你基础关系之外的人一起的经历是否会滋养、激励你，让你重获新生？
Do you feel energized and refreshed after you have an innocent yet perhaps a little flirtatious coffee
当你和另外一个异性，一起喝了一杯咖啡后，
with someone from the opposite sex whilst in a relationship?
你是否感觉精力充沛神清气爽呢？
This does not have to imply any physical engagement, an innocent lunch date is enough.
这并不意味着任何身体上的接触，一个单纯的午餐就足够了。
In a polyamorous relationship, you are free to flirt, have fun and share your experiences with other people in any way you desire.
在多元恋关系中，你可以自由地调情，享受乐趣，以任何你想要的方式与他人分享你的经历。
Sign four is that you like to constantly challenge yourself in order to grow.
迹象四是，为了成长，你喜欢不断挑战自己。
The most common reason for people rejecting an open relationship is jealousy.
大家拒绝开放式关系的一个最常见原因就是嫉妒。
They would rather not deal with the intensity of jealous feelings
他们宁愿不去处理强烈的嫉妒情绪
they would get with the very imagination of their partner engaging with someone else.
也不愿去想象自己的伴侣和其他人在一起。
But what if polyamory will teach you to be less jealous and to love with complete freedom,
但如果多配偶制能教会你少些嫉妒，多些自由地去爱，
would this not be like taking an entire weight off of your shoulders?
这难道不像是在减轻你肩上的全部重量吗？
This experience, while still being a very difficult one will teach you to love someone.
这段经历将教会你去爱一个人。
Fear, jealousy and possession are not things that come from a place of love. Consider it a love boot camp.
恐惧、嫉妒和占有都不是来自于爱。就当它是爱情训练营吧。
Sign number five is that communication and honesty are very important things for you.
迹象六，沟通和诚实对你来说非常重要。
You can't stand lying about anything and let's be honest,
你不能在任何事情上撒谎，说实话吧
most people feel safer not admitting to their partners that they may be interested in or attracted to someone else.
大多数人觉得不向他们的伴侣承认他们可能对别人感兴趣或被别人吸引，这样会更安全。
They may also not feel safe about telling their partner about certain friendships for fear of jealousy.
他们也可能因为害怕嫉妒而不敢告诉他们的伴侣他们的某段友谊。
You are the kind of person who would rather be open about these difficult topics and feel safe in approaching them with your partner.
你是这样的人，你宁愿对这些困难的话题保持开放的态度，并且在与你的伴侣谈到这些问题时感到安全。
You think it's best and healthier to tackle the situation and finding a compromise that makes you both happy.
你认为解决问题，并寻求让你俩都开心的和解，这样是最好最健康的。
If there is something forbidden to us, we will only want it more.
如果有什么东西禁止的，我们只会想要更多。
If we feel free to be with somebody else, then the initial excitement of that forbidden fruit is gone.
如果我们觉得和其他人在一起是自由的，那么最初对禁果的兴奋就消失了。
Sign number six is that you don't like living life by society's rules and tend to question everything.
迹象六，你不喜欢按照社会规则生活，并倾向于质疑一切。
You are not one to follow social constructs of what should and should not be.
你不是一个遵循社会常规的人。
You often find yourself questioning these in-positions made on us.
你经常发现自己在质疑这些强加给我们的东西。
Polyamory is instantly rejected by society and almost seen as a threat to normal relationships and normal family life.
多配偶制立即遭到社会的反对，几乎被视为对正常关系和正常家庭生活的威胁。
However, you prefer to live and experience for yourself before deciding your opinion on something as opposed to following everybody else like a sheep.
但你更喜欢自己生活和体验，然后再决定你对事物的意见，而不是随大流。
Sign number seven is that you trust your love and connection with this person more than anything.
迹象七，相信你和这个人的爱和联系胜过一切。
You don't think that seeing someone else could possibly take away from your love and devotion to your partner.
你不认为和别人约会可能会带走你对伴侣的爱和忠诚。
If anything, it might even strengthen your appreciation for them.
如果有，那也只会增进你对他们的爱。
If the connection you have is authentic, then it is really hard for that to just go away with the introduction of someone new.
如果你们之间的关系是真实的，那就很难在有他人介入后离开。
Sometimes we just enjoy someone new in our lives but that does not mean we want them to ever replace our partner.
有时我们只是喜欢生活中出现的新朋友，但这并不意味着我们希望他们取代我们的伴侣。
And finally, sign number eight is that you are aware that we can love more than one person and feel attracted to more than one person.
最后迹象八，你意识到我们可以爱不止一个人，也可以被不止一个人吸引。
If we learn to accept that one person cannot fulfill every desire that we have,
如果我们学者接受，一个人不能满足我们所有的欲望，
then we will immediately resent our partner less and appreciate them more.
那么我们会立即对我们的伴侣少一些怨恨，多一些欣赏。
If we decide to allow ourselves and our partners to fulfill things we can't through someone else,
如果我们决定让我们自己和我们的伴侣去完成我们不能通过别人完成的事情
we are making them happy and that my friend is love.
我们是在让他们快乐，并且我的朋友，这就是爱。
Thank you for watching this video and hopefully these signs helped you see
感谢收看本期视频，希望这些对你有所帮助，能让你明白
if you'd potentially be open for a polyamorous relationship or if you're more happy in a monogamous one.
你是否能够接受多配偶制或者你更喜欢一夫一妻制。
Let us know if any of these signs relate to you in the comments and any videos you might like to see next.
如果你有这些迹象，请在下方评论告知，任何你想看的视频都可以告诉我们。
