"It's when you have an interaction, it can be e-mail, a phone call, or a get-together, and you don't feel a sense of feeling good about the friend," Yager said. "Since friendships are voluntary, it has to be someone to add to your life."

　　Though it is hard for both genders to end a friendship, women are more likely to feel like they need to discuss and understand it, while men are more likely to just walk away, and let it ride. In business, the male method of blowing off a friendship works more smoothly, and women are now realizing that what works at home, doesn't necessarily help them advance in the office, Yager said.

　　When you decide to end a friendship, she suggests doing so in a gradual way.

　　"The best thing is to wind it down, rather than stopping cold turkey, because in process of winding down or pulling away, most friends will get the hint," Yager said. "In getting the hint, the person is now increasing his or her friendships with other people, so the sense of loss is minimized."

　　If the person senses that you are pulling away and asks what is happening, you should not fault them, but blame it on the interaction.

　　"Say it's not you, it's not me, it's you and me together that is not the best interaction right now," Yager said. That leaves room for resuming the friendship later on.

　　Yager suggests that when possible, friendships that only sometimes verge on toxic should be repaired.

　　"It takes two people to start a friendship, but only one to end it," Yager said. "Because friendship is so precious and pivotal, it's important it only be ended with good reason, and the feeling that you tried to fix it."

　　If you want to stick it out and make a toxic friendship work, Jan Yager, a sociologist, offers these five steps to help you figure out how to salvage a friendship.

　　1. Do I want to invest the time/energy to turn it around? You may not want to, but have to, because you work together, or it's a friend of your spouse, you work in the same community, church, etc.

　　2. Will the friend want to work through the conflict? You will need to assess whether your friend will want to work through the conflict.

　　3. Will you discuss the friendship with a friend things ride for a while? Sometimes a cooling-off time can have a better long-term effect than doing something in heat of the moment, because people feel they have to do something. But if you write an angry e-mail, don't hit send. If you directly confront a friend who may not be ready to hear something, the friendship may be prematurely catapulted to an end over something that may not seem like a big deal in hindsight.

　　4. Try conflict resolution techniques.

　　A. Try to understand the words that caused the conflict.

　　B. Listen carefully to one another

　　C. Agree to disagree. One of the reasons you're friends is that you aren't exactly the same.

　　D. Validate the relationship. Let them know you want to stay friends.

　　E. If appropriate, say 'I'm sorry.'

　　5. If you save the friendship, don't dwell on the resolved rift.