n. 仁慈,好意
My most remorseful memory involves helping Mother sell cabbages at market, and me overcharging an old villager one jiao – intentionally or not, I can’t recall – before heading off to school. When I came home that afternoon, I saw that Mother was crying, something she rarely did. Instead of scolding me, she merely said softly, “Son, you embarrassed your mother today.”
我十几岁时,母亲患了严重的肺病,饥饿,病痛,劳累,使我们这个家庭陷入了困境,看不到光明和希望。我产生了一种强烈的不祥之兆,以为母亲随时都会自己寻短见。每当我劳动归来,一进大门就高喊母亲,听到她的回应,心中才感到一块石头落了地。如果一时听不到她的回应,我就心惊胆战,跑到厨房和磨坊里寻找。有一次找遍了所有的房间也没有见到母亲的身影,我便坐在了院子里大哭。这时母亲背着一捆柴草从外面走进来。她对我的哭很不满,但我又不能对她说出我的担忧。母亲看到我的心思,她说:“孩子你放心,尽管我活着没有一点乐趣,但只要阎王爷不叫我,我是不会去的。”
Mother contracted a serious lung disease when I was still in my teens. Hunger, disease, and too much work made things extremely hard on our family. The road ahead looked especially bleak, and I had a bad feeling about the future, worried that Mother might take her own life. Every day, the first thing I did when I walked in the door after a day of hard labor was call out for Mother. Hearing her voice was like giving my heart a new lease on life. But not hearing her threw me into a panic. I’d go looking for her in the side building and in the mill. One day, after searching everywhere and not finding her, I sat down in the yard and cried like a baby. That is how she found me when she walked into the yard carrying a bundle of firewood on her back. She was very unhappy with me, but I could not tell her what I was afraid of. She knew anyway. “Son,” she said, “don’t worry, there may be no joy in my life, but I won’t leave you till the God of the Underworld calls me.”
我生来相貌丑陋,村子里很多人当面嘲笑我,学校里有几个性格霸蛮的同学甚至为此打我。我回家痛苦,母亲对我说:“儿子,你不丑,你不缺鼻子不缺眼,四肢健全,丑在哪里?而且只要你心存善良,多做好事,即便是丑也能变美。”后来我进入城市,有一些很有文化的人依然在背后甚至当面嘲弄我的相貌,我想起了母亲的话,便心平气和地向他们道歉。
I was born ugly. Villagers often laughed in my face, and school bullies sometimes beat me up because of it. I’d run home crying, where my mother would say, “You’re not ugly, Son. You’ve got a nose and two eyes, and there’s nothing wrong with your arms and legs, so how could you be ugly? If you have a good hear it an always do the right thing, what is considered ugly becomes beautiful.” Later on, when I moved to the city, there were educated people who laughed at me behind my back, some even to my face; but when I recalled what Mother had said, I just calmly offered my apologies.
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