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1. The Criticizing
1.批评
Criticism can be helpful when a partner points out a problem the other person in the relationship doesn’t notice. It’s how healthy relationships work. But once a problem ends so should the critique. With a criticizer in a toxic relationship everything the other person does is a target that can be attacked, and often in front of other people. This goes beyond playful banter: this criticism is overly harsh and causes real harm. Behind a chronic criticizer is a person whose low self-esteem leads them to find faults in their partner because of their own insecurities. Criticizers need to fix themselves first, or else they may not have partners to criticize for long.
恋爱中，当你指出了恋人忽视了的问题时，这种批评是有益的，这也是让你们的关系保持健康的方法。但一旦问题已经被解决了，就应该停止批评。在一段不良的关系中，爱批评的那个人会逮住对方所做的任何事情进行攻击，而且常常是当着其他人的面。这就超出了开玩笑的范围：这种批评过于苛刻，会给别人造成真正的伤害。这种爱批评别人的人，其实他们本身很自卑，他们总是抱怨自己的伴侣是因为他们自身缺乏安全感。爱抱怨的人首先需要改掉这个毛病，否则他们无法与别人长期维持一段关系。
