(The French Boarder)
Amy: Are you sure these things are safe?
Man: Safer even than the Concorde.
Mike: Well how do you know for sure it's going to end up in Paris?
Man: Guarantee.
Amy: Do we have to do this?
Mike: Look, for the kind of time and money we have, we've got to.
Amy: I just don't trust this guy's hot air. I was talking about the balloon.
Mike: Wow! I can't believe this. Wow, this is amazing. Wow! Do you want me to put my arms
around you?
Man: No, that's ok.
Amy: If the wind keeps blowing, then we might just catch a glimpse of that chapel in Corbay.

Jason: Enjoy Paris alone. Yeah right!
Mike: Hey Amy that's it. That's Corbay. Wow wo, wo. Where's the break on this thing?
Man: …
Mike: Earth, death, us oh! Amy Amy, wake up.
Amy: Mike, what are you doing? We have less than an hour to get to Paris. If we miss that
flight, we are going to be stranded in Europe forever.
Amy: Hey!
Mike: This is where your grandparents got married?
Amy: Forty three years ago.
Mike: well this is the first item on you itinerary, so relax, take your time and enjoy it. Ok, we
got forty five minutes to hit the other forty seven. I think we can do it.

Doctor: Ah, bonjour papa.
Maggie: Jason, where have you been? You said you'd be back at seven and it's, um, five to.
Jason: Well I thought you wanted me to get out.
Maggie: Well of course I said that. I didn't really think you'd go.
Jason: I just thought that…
Maggie: Thought what? That you could leave me in this crummy room while you went out and
had a wonderful time in Paris, the city of lights?
Jason: Maggie.
Maggie: You said you wouldn't have fun. You promised.
Jason: I found Henri's.
Maggie: What?
Jason: Yes. Exactly where we left it twenty two years ago. I even ordered off the same menus
printed on the wine bottle.
Maggie: Oh that figures. That just figures. You probably had a wonderful dinner and a
wonderful champagne, and winning conversation with exotic women.
Henri: You remember Henri? Ah Madame Seaver. In twenty years you only look lovelier.
Jason: No, Henri, Henri.
Henri: Ah. Madame Seaver. In twenty years you only look lovelier. May I serve you now?
Maggie: Oh Jason, you are the sweetest, most thoughtful husband a woman could ever have.
Jason: Yeah, I've been saying that for years.
Maggie: Jason Seaver, will you marry me.
Jason: I'm thinking about it.

Mike: Wow, Paris. Well I think we've finally got out of Spain. Wo, wo. Easy Maurice. We don't
want to hit this thing.
Amy: I've dreamed of things like this.
Mike: Hey, the river Seine. And Notre Dame Cathedral and that is the Louvre and the Arc de
triumph. Items forty seven, forty eight and forty nine on your itinerary I do believe.

Amy: Ah, can you please put us down in that beautiful park?
Man: Oui.
Mike: Ok fine, could you put wee down in that beautiful park? Wow, wow, wow. Set it down easy Maurice. Wo, wo, wo. Wo, wo.
Man: When you get out of the basket, that's it. How you say the weight..Ahhhh!
Mike: Well that's the first French I've understood.
Amy: Wait! My bag. My nap sack. I never thought we'd do it.
Mike: I never doubted it for a second. Hey listen, we've got to catch that metro to De Gaulle
Airport.
Amy: Not de Gaulle, Orly airport.
Mike: No, I didn't screw this one up. I checked the ticket. See?
Amy: No but my flight's leaving out of Orly. see?
Mike: Oh! Well then I guess this is goodbye.
Amy: I know this trip wasn't a pleasure for you...
Mike: I didn't mean to ruin your whole vacation…
Amy: You go first.
Mike: No go ahead.
Amy: You first. This is harder than I expected. All of a sudden I can't say goodbye.
Mike: Well then don't. Just say oui.
Amy: That means yes Mike.
Mike: I know, but the only other word I know in French is ahhhhhh and that doesn't seem
appropriate.
Amy: Here. This is my address in California. You can read can't you?
Mike: Yes.
Amy: Thank you. Believe it or not, this was, this was...
Mike: Fun.
Amy: Yeah. I wasn't too much of a chore to be with, was I? I mean I can be so rigid. I am
working on it.
Mike: Keep working on it. I guess we got to go.
Amy: I'm going to miss you Mike. And for what it's worth, you're not the screw up you think
you are. And I mean that pretty much the way it sounds.

Ben: Hey, what's this picture?
Mike: That's the alley where that crazy Spanish guy was chasing me.
Ben: This one?
Mike: That is the men's room where I ducked in on the run.
Ben: Nice urinal.
Mike: Thank you.
Ben: And what's this?
Mike: Oh, they are my mug shots. They usually don't let you keep these things.
Ben: Nice lighting.
Mike: Thank you.

Ben: Who's the babe?
Mike: that is Amy Boudelay. That is the girl that I met. Yeah, at first she was kind of a drag,
and then later on she turned out to be, kind of a drag.
Ben: It doesn't look like a very fun trip.
Mike: look Bennie, you do not go to Europe just to have fun. You go there to experience an
older richer culture.
Ben: Any more urinals?
(Car horn)
Ben: Hey, that must be mum and dad.
Mike: Ah, well listen Ben. I really don't think I'm ready to hear about their trip yet. Ok. They'll
probably blame me for selling them the lousy tour. Ok, if they ask, I'm not home.
Ben: Go on. I can handle mum and dad. Trust me.
Mike: Ok, thanks.
Maggie: Hey Ben. How are you?
Ben: You guys are home.
Jason: Yeah.
Ben: Hhow was your trip? Hope the pictures are better than Mike's.
Jason: Mike's home?
Ben: Um, Mike who. Why are we wasting our time talking bout someone who's not even here?
Let's see those darn pictures.
Maggie: Well sorry Ben. No pictures. But I do have plenty of postcards.
Ben: Man, you guys saw a lot of neat stuff.
Maggie: Not any of it.
Chrissy: Mummy, daddy.
Jason: My baby.
Maggie: Chrissy.
Grandma: Thank god you are back. I wrote a check for the thingy I broke. Most of your
children are here I think. The only good thing about this week is Ed left two days ago. Oh,
don't worry, I'll take a cab. See you. Bye!
Chrissy: I think grandma's had a tough week.
(Phone rings)
Ben: Hello.
Carol: It's worse than I thought Ben. Mum and dad have completely disappeared. At this rate
it looks like I may have to stay here a couple of weeks.
Ben: Dad, I think you better handle this one.