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Welcome young man. Thank you very much.
欢迎你年轻人。谢谢。
Have you recovered from the live portion, the beacon theatre portion. Yeah.
从现场的气氛中恢复的怎么样，我是说灯塔剧院的。是的。
Of Night of Too Many Stars. It's a hard gig.
“群星之夜”节目。这是一场非常辛苦的演出。
Saturday night. It's a hard gig. I have not recovered and it's not over.
周六晚上的那次。相当辛苦。我还没有恢复过来，其实这场演出还没有结束。
It's not over by a long shot. It's not over, we're doing a live phone bank on Sunday night.
远没有结束。还没结束，我们要在周日晚上举行现场电话宣传。
This Sunday night? That's when the show airs, yes.
这个周日晚上？对的，这是节目直播的时间。
But I'm gonna tell you. Yes.
但我要告诉你的是。什么。
Doing this a while, last, it was Saturday Night. Yeah.
你曾经做过，名字叫做“周六夜现场”。对的。
I'm telling you, I thought more insane things happened
听我说，“周六夜现场”的内容
that Saturday Night than in any show that we've done so far with this. Yes.
比我们做过的任何节目都要好看。
Yeah, well you know, I, I kind of, when my son was diagnosed with autism a long time ago, I always kind of
你知道，我儿子老早以前被诊断为自闭症，我有一种，
How old is Daniel now?
丹尼尔今年多大了？
He's 17 years old. Right.
他17了。恩恩。
And I always thought, you know, early on I kind of didn't want to talk about it,
我总是想，我以前不太愿意讨论这个话题，
partly because I'm triumphing, Insult Comic Dogs hand up the ass.
部分原因是，我制作了黛安芬，这个满是侮辱性言语的“可恶的漫画狗”。
And I kind of like to, there he is.
我从某种程度上喜欢，它来了。
There he is. How are you? Hello!
来了，你好吗？你好啊！
And I thought maybe it's better people just look at me as an asshole, you know?
所以人们把我看成是“漫画狗”就好了。
So if they were to see you as human,
如果观众把你看作人类呢，
yeah well, it's kind of creepy especially when I do the voice.
那可能有点可怕，尤其当我在模仿狗的声音时。
But I figured, like at this point this show has gotten so big. Right. Important. Yes.
但我想，现在的这个节目确实非常火。对的，这点是非常重要的。
That's, let's just picture it is a comedy, as a charity event run by an asshole.
我们把它想象成一场喜剧秀，一个“漫画狗”所举办的慈善会。
What if a charity event was run by someone who is disturbed but well-meaning?
创办这场晚会的人是一个精神错乱，但却是出于善意的人，这个说法如何？
Very well-meaning.
绝对是出于善意。
You know, there is nothing I think to raise the human spirit like seeing Paul Rudd on his knees. Yes.
我觉得最富有人类精神的莫过于看到保罗·路德双膝跪地。对的。
He had been fully chewed but appeared to be D'Agostino's chicken.
他被批的体无完肤，有点像“格斯特”炸鸡。
I think it was Zabar's.
不，他像“扎巴”杂货店。
Was that a Zabar's? Yeah, it was a classy event.
是吗？对，这也算是个很高端的活动。
And this gentleman in the audience, won the bidding and came up.
这位男性参与者赢得了拍卖会，然后走上台前。
Actually, yeah, that, that, those people came on for free. For free.
其实，这些观众是免费上台的。免费的。
Yeah, a lot of the show is Auctions. Auctions.
许多场次的节目其实是拍卖会。对，拍卖会。
The beacon theatre is filled with about 2500 people. Yes.
灯塔剧院大约能容纳2500人。对的。
About 75 of them are really rich and crazy and wiling to auction, willing to bid, god bless them. They're crazy auctions.
大约有75%非常有钱，他们愿意拍卖，喜欢竞价。他们实在太疯狂了。
They wanted to support this cause.
他们愿意支持这样的善举。
Chris Rock did a live auction in the theatre.
克里斯·洛克曾经在这里举办过现场拍卖会，
Louis CK took somebody out. Yes. Can I tell them what John Oliver did? Sure, yeah.
路易斯·C·K曾经把人踢了出去。对的。我能告诉他们约翰·奥利弗干了什么吗？当然。
They bid, there is an auction to bid to commit a crime with John Oliver.
他们竞价，其实拍卖的实质是和约翰一块“犯罪”。
Yes, and it happened! The crime was committed.
对的，确实是！真的“犯罪”了。
It went out that night with a camera and committed a crime.
当时还被记录了下来，流传到了外面，“犯罪”事实确凿。
It is. It's, it's the wrongest charity event.
没错。这是一次特错打错的慈善晚会。
And yet it's so lovely and, but there are moments in it.
但是说实话，慈善会办得相当棒，还有几个难忘的瞬间。
The moment with Owen Suskind, with Ron Suskind's son Owen.
比如说欧文·萨斯金，还有罗恩·萨斯金的儿子欧文。
Well yes. This is the crazy thing that on the one hand,
确实，从一方面讲，这场晚宴真的很棒，没错。
Paul Rudd, literally this happened within ten minutes of each other. Yes, right back to back.
还有保罗·路德，两个人几乎同时发生，也就不到十分钟。对的，前后脚。
Paul Rudd regurgitated, received regurgitated food.
给保罗·路德的是反刍的食物。
Ten minutes later, literally Gilbert Gottfried was making people cry.
十分钟后，吉尔伯特·戈特弗里德又让人失声痛哭。
But, cry with emotion not like he would normally, not like Gilbert would normally do.
但这是有感情的哭，不像他平常会做的事情。
Yeah. Normally they're crying out of agony.
是的，他们平常都是因痛苦哭泣。
Yeah, not the agony kind of crying he usually generates. Yes.
对，不是他以前的那种，因为痛苦所产生的痛哭。对的。
No, it's like it's an incredible moment.
那个时刻让人难以忘怀。
It's an incredibly moving moment where he is the conduit through which this young man Owen communicates,
这真的是非常感人的一幕，他其实扮演了一位中间人，欧文通过他向外界交流，
his feelings to his family and to others around him. It's amazing.
通过他来表达对家庭以及其他人的感受。这太棒了。
Right, well the whole show is about raising money not to cure autism. Right.
对的，整个节目的宗旨不是来筹钱治病。对的。
Because a lot of people are working on biomedical research.
因为有太多人都在从事生物医学研究。
My wife and I couldn't get our kid into any kind of school or program that was adequate for him
我和我妻子一直在给我儿子找合适的学校，或者说合适的项目，
until he was seven years old. And people with fewer resources than us,
一直到他七岁才找到合适的。想到许多家庭并没有这么多的资源，
It's unimaginable to us what they have to go through.
很难想象他们是怎么过来的。
And, and the kids, they deserve better.
还有那些孩子们，他们应该受到更高的待遇。
These are, you know, last year we had a moment,
还有就是，去年有一个让我印象深刻的时刻，
I don't know if you saw last year's show or saw it online,
我不知道你们是否看过去年的节目，或是你们上网看了，
Katy Perry did a duet with Jodi Dipiazza, with a little girl. Did everybody see that?
去年凯蒂·佩里和一个小女孩，对的和乔迪·迪匹亚演出，你们有看过吗？
With Jodi Dipiazza? Yeah, it was amazing.
看过吗和乔迪·迪匹亚的？那个太棒了。
And she, and this little girl plays the piano and then there's this moment
这个小女孩当时在弹钢琴，之后是她
where she receives spontaneous applause and she smiles. And people...She just lights up. She just lights up.
获得了观众的掌声，然后她笑了。她当时兴奋了一下。她当时兴奋了。
And that's the kind of the thing people are shocked, a lot of people just don't understand.
这件事情让人们很震惊，许多人很不理解。
That these are whole human beings and they're entitled to not be ostracized and written off.
他们也是人类，他们不应该被排除在外，不应该被抛弃。
They need to be given the chance, to have the best life as possible. Yep.
人们需要给予他们更多的机会，让他们过上最完美的生活，对的，说得好。
And this allows all kinds of programs.
这就需要我们各类节目的帮助，
Through our show, we fund, we fund programs all over the country, schools, programs, a wide range of things.
通过我们的节目，我们筹集善款，我们在全国筹钱，学校，项目等等这些。
But the Night of Too Many Stars, live auction part on Comedy Central this Sunday night,
但是这次的“群星之夜”，本周日晚上，将在喜剧中心频道直播拍卖盛况，
I urge you to tune in. It's March 8th, 8:00 pm.
希望大家能够观看直播, 3月8日晚8点。
We'll do a phone bank. We'll show all the great. Yes, Larry David and Martin Short will be at the phone bank.
我们会做一个现场电话宣传，这将会是一个非常棒的节目。对的，拉里·大卫和马丁·肖特会亲临电话宣传现场。
OK, they'll be at the phone bank all night.
恩，他们会一直呆在那里。
We'll do all the Skits and Stuff while at the Beacon, will be all in the show. It's gonna be great.
我们还会有幽默短剧，也都将会在“灯塔”节目中上演。这将会是一场精彩的节目。
Obviously Jack and Triumph you can see Friday nights at 11:30 Adult Swim.
还有就是每周五晚11点半的“杰克与黛安芬秀”，会在Adult Swim频道播出。
The great Robert Smigel, everybody.
再次为罗伯特·斯密戈尔鼓掌。
