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Side effects may include
副作用可能有……
OK, anyone here thinking of meeting your girlfriend's parents?
好的 在座各位有谁要去见女友的父母的吗
If you are thinking of meeting your girlfriend's parents—
如果有的话——
A woman just went, whoo!
刚有位女士大声地哇了一声
And then I don't think she realized she was a lesbian until that moment.
我觉得她应该不是刚刚才意识到自己是个蕾丝边的
Is that what just happened or did you already know?
你是刚发现还是早就知道了
I guess, what a wonderful night, guys! Congrats!
我瞎猜的 今晚是个美好的夜晚 祝福你们
Anyone here thinking of meeting your girlfriend's parents?
在座各位有谁要去见女友的父母的吗
If you're thinking of meeting your girlfriend's parents, you should know there are side effects
如果有的话 要知道这是有副作用的
and those side effects may include...
副作用包括
Having your hand crushed by her father's very manly handshake.
女友父亲的大力握手把你的手捏碎了
No matter what you're eating, saying, yum! My favorite!
不管你在吃什么 都要说 哇 这是我最喜欢的菜
Looking at your girlfriend's mom and wondering if that's what your girlfriend's gonna look like when she's older.
看着女友的妈妈 想女友老了以后是不是就长这样
Trying to have the quietest sex imaginable in a twin bed.
在双人床上做爱尽可能压低声音
Ruining your sex life by putting a face to the name daddy.
把爸爸这个词和人对上号之后 性生活就毁了
And the final side effect of meeting your girlfriend's parents is breaking up with your girlfriend.
见女友父母的终极副作用是 跟女朋友分手
Anyone here thinking of being a solid 5?
在座有人想玩合金弹头5吗
If you are thinking of being a solid 5, you should know there are side effects
有的话 要知道这是有副作用的
and those side effects may include... Dating other solid 5's.
副作用包括 遇见其他玩家
Looking like a not-so-solid 4 when you wake up in the morning.
早上醒的时候看起来连4的玩家都不像
Wishing there was a tinder for 5's. Realizing there is, it's called okcupid.
希望给5的玩家一个约会网站 突然发现是有的 叫okcupid
And the final side effect to being a solid 5 is living with the sad realization that
成为合金弹头5玩家的终极副作用就是 悲哀的发现
you have the potential to be a 7, but you're just too lazy to put in the effort.
你本来是可以去玩7的 都怪自己懒得努力
Anyone here thinking of wearing a hat?
在座有人想戴帽子的吗
If you are thinking of wearing a hat, you should know there are side effects and those side effects may include...
有的话 要知道这是有副作用的 副作用包括
Lookin' dope as hell.
看起来蠢死了。
Having to tell people, no, I didn't get an awesome new haircut. This is called a hat.
要跟人解释 我没剪新发型 这是帽子
Laughing at all the people whose hair got messed up on a windy day. Not you, though—you're wearing a hat.
嘲笑那些刮风的时候发型乱了的路人 不包括你——你有帽子
Realizing you accidentally wore your pants that don't have pockets, and you don't have anywhere to put your wallet.
发现自己不小心穿了一条没口袋的裤子 现在没地方放钱包了
Oh, wait, never mind. Just put it under your sick-ass hat.
等等 没事 放在帽子里好了
Everyone cheering when you enter a room going, na na na na na na na na na na hat man!!!
你一进屋 一群人欢呼着啦啦啦啦啦啦啦 帽子侠
And the final side effect of wearing a hat is waking up, realizing it was all just a dream.
戴帽子的终极副作用是 醒来发现这都是一场梦
Who were you kidding? Your father was right, you'll never be a hat guy.
你说什么呢 你爸是对的 你永远也成为不了帽子侠
Anyone here thinking of using the restroom at pottery barn?
在做有人想过用陶艺吧的洗手间吗
If you're thinking of using the restroom at pottery barn, you should know there are side effects and those side effects may include...
有的话 要知道这是有副作用的 副作用包括
Pretending to be interested in a mila beaded crystal chandelier.
假装对一个串珠水晶吊灯很感兴趣
Looking at au naturale cereal bowls, set of 4, cream colored.
看着一套4件的乳白色的麦片碗
Turning to an employee and saying, wow! These are very nice!
对店员说 哇 这些好漂亮啊
Asking that same employee where the bathroom is. Blowing-up - that - bathroom.
然后问他厕所在哪里 迅速冲进厕所
Halfway through, having a panic attack, realizing that you are sitting on a display-only toilet.
尿到一半 突然惊慌的想起 你坐的这个马桶 仅供展示
Oh god, they look so real! Sprinting out of pottery barn.
天哪 都怪它看起来太真实了 立刻冲出厕所
And the final side effect of using the restroom at pottery barn is feeling guilty about
用陶艺吧厕所的终极副作用就是对自己所做的一切愧疚不已
what you did to that pottery barn, so you give them free advertising on your show.
于是在自己节目上免费给他打广告
And that was side effects may include. We've got a great show!
以上是今天的副作用可能有 今天的节目很成功
