评论
打印
Hey Psych2Go family, thank you for all the love and support you've given us.
嘿，大家好，感谢大家给予我们的爱和支持。
Here at Psych2Go, our mission is to make content on psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone.
在Psych2Go，我们的任务是让每个人都更容易获得关于心理学和心理健康的知识。
Now, let's get back to the video. How do you think your friends would describe you? Are you always there for them when they need you?
现在我们回到视频。你觉得你的朋友会怎么形容你？他们需要你的时候你总会出现在他们身边吗？
Sometimes, it can be hard to maintain a good friendship with people.
有的时候，和别人保持好的友谊的很难的。
You may not even realize that you're hurting the people you love until it's too late.
你甚至可能意识不到你正在伤害你爱的人，直到为时已晚。
So here is seven warning signs that you may be becoming a toxic friend to others.
下面是你可能成为了“有毒朋友”的7个警告信号。
Number one, you're needy.
第一，你太粘人了。
Are you over-reliant on your friend, calling them at the first sight of trouble?
你有没有过度依赖自己的朋友，一有麻烦就给他们打电话？
Do you need them to reaffirm your self esteem every time you feel down about yourself?
每当你感到沮丧的时候你会需要他们来重申你的自尊吗？
While friends should be supportive of each other, there should also be some give and take in your relationship.
虽然朋友之间应该相互支持，但你们的关系也应该相互让步。
You may be turning into a toxic friend if you keep on demanding and taking more of your friendship than you give.
如果你总是索取多于付出，那么你可能会变成“有毒朋友”。
Number two, you're controlling.
第二，你控制欲太强。
Do you always want to know what your friends are up to? Or do you sometimes tell your friends what to do or who they spend their time with?
你是不是总是想知道你的朋友在做什么？或者有时会告诉你的朋友该怎么做、问他们和谁在一起？
A way you may be hurting your friends is by too controlling of them.
一种可能会伤害到朋友的方式是“对他们过于控制”。
Remember that they are their own person. They can make their own decisions.
记住他们是他们自己，他们可以自己做决定。
Even if what you do comes from a place of insecurity or fear that they will replace you with someone else, trying to control your friends may turn your friendship into a toxic one.
即便你做的事情是出于不安全感或害怕别人会取代你，试图控制你的朋友可能会把你们的友谊变成有毒的友谊。
Number three, you're inconsiderate.
第三，你不体谅别人。
Do you always make your friends give in to what you want or get upset if you don't get your way?
你是否总让朋友屈服于你自己想要的东西，或者当你不能如愿时你就会生气？
If you only care about your wants and needs, and insist on doing things your way, even at the expense of your friends, then you're being inconsiderate about their feelings.
如果你只在乎自己的欲望和需要，坚持按自己的方式做事，甚至不惜牺牲朋友的利益，那么你就是不考虑他们的感受。
Healthy friendships are all about compromise and mutual agreement, so you may be turning into a toxic friend if you constantly ignore your friends to get your way.
健康的友谊是关于妥协和共同协议的，所以如果你总是无视你的朋友来达到自己的目的，那么你可能会变成“有毒朋友”。
Number four, you give unsolicited advice.
第四，你主动提出建议。
Do you give your friends advice even if they never asked for it?
即便你的朋友从来没有问过你的建议，你会主动给他们建议吗？
A study by Meyers in 2017 shows that many who give unsolicited advice may do so because it gives them a sense of control and superiority amongst their peers.
迈耶斯2017年的一项研究表明，许多主动提供建议的人可能会这样做，因为这让他们在同龄人中有一种控制感和优越感。
Doing so may also make you seem self-righteous and judgmental.
这样做也会让你看起来自以为是、爱评判别人。
Instead of advice, your friend may just want you to lend them an ear and show them some sympathy.
你的朋友可能只是想让你倾听他们，同情他们，而不是给他们建议。
Number five, you act critical of them.
第五，你总是对他们吹毛求疵。
Do you always point out your friend's insecurities or floss to them?
你是否总是指出朋友的不安全感或者横加指责。
While you may say that it comes from a place of love, being overly harsh and critical can be doing more damage than good to your friendship.
虽然你可能会说这是出于爱，但过分严厉和批评对你的友谊弊大于利。
You may end up making them feel worse about their failures and hurt their self esteem.
你可能会让他们对自己的失败感觉更糟，伤害他们的自尊。
Because of this, your friendship may take a turn for the worse.
正因为如此，你们的友谊可能会变得更糟。
Number six, you talk more about yourself than them.
第六，你谈论自己的次数比谈论他们的次数多。
Are you usually the one who does most of the talking? Do you interrupt your friend and steer the topic back to you?
你平时是说话最多的那个人吗？你会打断朋友的话，把话题转回到自己身上吗？
Even if it's not your intention, this kind of behavior can show that you care more about yourself than you do about your friend.
即使这不是你的本意，这种行为也表明你关心自己胜过关心你的朋友。
Healthy relationships involve taking turns to talk and listen.
健康的(朋友)关系包括“轮流说和听”。
When you fail to strike a good balance in your friendship and you take more than you give, it may be a sign that your friendship is turning into a toxic one.
如果你不能在友谊中做到平衡，你的索取多于给予，那么这可能是一个信号，表明你们的友谊正在变成一种有毒的关系。
Number seven, you're not happy for their success.
第七，你不为他们的成功感到高兴。
Do you feel bitter or insecure when your friend accomplishes something?
当你的朋友完成某件事时，你是否会感到痛苦或者不安全？
Although it's normal to feel jealous of others from time to time, it's never good to be so envious of your friends, that you can't celebrate their success.
虽然时不时嫉妒别人是很正常的，但是太嫉妒自己的朋友而不是庆祝他们的成功是不好的。
Instead of rooting for them and cheering them on, you find yourself competing against them and secretly hoping that they'd fail, and that is a sign of a toxic friendship.
你发现自己在和他们竞争，并暗自希望他们失败，而不是为他们加油鼓劲，这是一种有毒的友谊的标志。
Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here? Are you worried you may be turning into a toxic friend? Let us know in the comments below.
你和今天视频里提到的迹象有挂钩吗？你担心自己变成“有毒朋友”吗？可以在评论区告诉我们。
If you answered yes, don't worry, it's not too late yet.
如果你的回答是“是”，别担心，现在醒悟还为时不晚。
It's good that you're trying to be more self-aware about your own faults, and the fact that you were honest enough with yourself to admit that you're being a bad friend shows a willingness to grow and change for the better.
对自己的错误有更多的自知之明是件好事，如果你能够大方地承认自己是个坏朋友，这表明你愿意成长和改变，变得更好。
Though this kind of positive change doesn't come easy, you've already taken a big first step in acknowledging your mistakes and trying to be a better person.
虽然这种积极的改变并不容易，但你已经向着“承认错误并努力成为一个更好的人”迈出了一大步。
If you find this video helpful, be sure to like and share this video with those who might benefit from it.
如果你觉得这个视频很有帮助，一定要点赞并与那些可能从中受益的人分享这个视频。
Subscribe to Psych2Go for more videos. Thanks for watching and see you in our next video.
可以订阅Psych2go观看更多视频。感谢您的收看，咱们下期见。
