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You're not speaking up
你没有大声说出来
Many of us carry around little hurts and grudges all our lives. Often, we believe that acknowledging the pain is generally more trouble than it's worth, and while it may seem like that in the moment, over the years those little indignities pile on top of each other and morph into a mound of resentment. And that is dangerous.
很多人一生中都会背负着伤害和怨恨过活。通常，我们都相信承认痛苦其实比痛苦本身更让人难受，然而伤害日久弥新，年复一年地，曾经对方的侮辱和伤害会堆积成深刻的怨恨。那样就危险了。
Perhaps there's something that really bothers you about your partner. Why aren't you saying anything? Are you afraid they'll get upset? So what if they do? Maybe they'll throw a tantrum. Maybe they'll apologize. Who knows? Would you rather try to deal with it constructively now, or bury it and wait for it to explode out of you in a fit of rage? Let it be a learning process regardless of the outcome. You will thank yourself down the road.
也许对方真的做了激怒你的事。可为什么你不说出来呢？是怕让他们失望吗？还是怕他们会做出格的事？他们可能会大发雷霆，也可能会向你道歉。谁知道呢？你是打算积极地处理这个问题，还是让问题深埋心底直到让愤怒彻底爆发出来？无论结果如何，都要让它成为学习的过程。这样你将会在学习的过程中感谢自己。
As with listening, look inward. Accept what is there. If there is something that needs to be said, then say it. Understand that this does not mean verbally attack the other person. Calmly state what you're experiencing in the moment, and don't let it devolve into accusations, which takes us to number 3.
一边倾听，一边审视自我。接受真实的自己。如果有需要说出来的话，就说出来。要明白说实话并不意味着对对方进行语言攻击。心平气和地表达你当时的体会，不要演变成指责，接着我们看第三条建议。
