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You're playing the blame game
你在玩责备游戏
We often think, “if only he/she were this way, everything would be fine.” When we think this way, we are imposing an impossible ideal on our partners and we are avoiding the issue at hand: what is going on inside of us, the individual; the one who casts blame.
我们时常会想，“如果他/她这样做的话，一切都会好的。”当我们以这种方式考虑问题时，其实是在异想天开地把自己的思想强加给对方，并且还在逃避眼前的问题：我们指责时，个人内心发生了什么？
Remember, your significant other is not you. They are a complex being with their own thoughts, insecurities, dreams, and fears… just like you. Do not be so quick to eschew responsibility.
记住，你的另一半并不是你。他们很复杂，跟你一样有自己的想法，有自己的不安，有自己的理想，有自己的恐惧......你不要这么快就放弃那份责任。
When you start to blame mentally or verbally, ask yourself if you are avoiding responsibility. Ask yourself if you are being unreasonable. Be honest. Then, if neither of these gels, don't be afraid to speak up, and then be prepared to listen. Then, you're on your way to constructive conversation, unless you fall into the next category.
当你准备在精神或语言上进行责备时，诚实面对自我，问问自己是否在逃避责任，是否在无理取闹。如果，两者都不是的话，就勇敢地说出来，然后做好倾听的准备。接下来就是用你独具建设性的方式开始对话，除非你陷入了下面的泥淖里。
